


Normal Just Isn't Our Thing, Babe.

by anythingkorean



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But most of them, But they get better, Childhood Friends, Complicated Relationships, Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Yoon Jeonghan Are Best Friends, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Smut, Not all of them, Office drama, Reconciliation, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, but it gets solved, dramaboo, everything works out fine in the end, no good fic is a good fic w/o a tiny lil bit of jealousy, or maybe, why is there no tag for that im shook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14493705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingkorean/pseuds/anythingkorean
Summary: Chan just wanted an internship so he could apply for a full time position once he graduated in the summer.Watching over an office full of adults trying to get through a day without murdering each other or threatening to quit or falling in love with every breathing mammal they see wasn't exactly in his plans.Or: Friends for two decades, there is literally no one more oblivious to each other than Jeonghan and Jisoo. Watching Hansol do everything to get his and Seungkwan's relationship to be more is a fine line between pitiful and charming. Mingyu's desperate for Wonwoo but Wonwoo's dumb self doesn't seem to be getting the hint(s). Seokmin wants his first, well, everything, to be with Soonyoung but Soonyoung isn't sure how to feel about that, Minghao and Jun try to take care of each other through their rough spots, and Seungcheol just wants Jihoon to acknowledge his existence.Apparently, adulting is a lot harder than it seems.--on hiatus and will be back soon with a "season 2" kind of thing!! :)





	1. A Mess

“Okay, I’m not trying to be a dramatic ass here, but hyung, if I don’t get to eat lunch right now, I think I’m going to hand in my two weeks notice right now.” Seokmin makes his declaration in a loud voice and Jisoo sighs and saves the spreadsheet he’s working on. It’s no point trying to work when he knows Seokmin’s going to bitch for the next hour. 

 

“I’ve already handed mine in an hour ago, you ain’t special, bitch.” Jihoon’s remark just soars past Seokmin’s head. Jisoo sighs again. He hears it everyday from Jihoon, it’s really not a threat anymore, just something Jihoon does out of habit. 

 

“Go ahead, hyung, no one’s gonna miss you.” Seokmin throws a flying kiss over to Jihoon and Jihoon pretends to gag on his pen. 

 

“Okay, no one is handing anything in besides their reports. So let’s just, pull through, okay? And you know what, I’ll treat you guys to lunch today. Maybe that’ll keep the threats under bay today.”

 

“Hansol the rapper who? Go Jisoo!” Jisoo sighs as loud as is humanly possible from his little lungs. Seungkwan laughs at his joke while Minghao threatens to skin him if he ever says something so stupid again. Seungkwan then says that Minghao couldn’t ever afford his skin and Minghao  _ chomps into Seungkwan’s forearm _ and Jisoo cries in his head.

 

“You know what? Let’s just, leave now. Yeah, we’ll just get lunch a little early and work on our reports after. Yeah, grab your coats, everyone.” Jisoo puts his computer on sleep mode and pinches the bridge of his nose tightly. 

 

Seokmin’s the first one in his coat, and nearly out the door even before Jihoon, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Minghao are standing. 

 

“Okay, no offense Jisoo, but if you bring us to a vegetarian place again like last time to get us to be healthy, I’m going to have to resort to eating you.” Mingyu gives Jisoo a playful wink but Jisoo doesn’t really doubt it for a second. 

 

“Ha, ha. Anyways, my friend’s dad is the owner of a really nice noodle restaurant. Let’s go there, I get discounts.” Jisoo cracks his knuckles noisily. 

 

“Wow, I never thought I’d live to see the day where Jisoo takes advantage of someone.”

 

Jisoo feels personally attacked and gasps while shrugging on his own jacket. “I’m disgusted that you’d think that, I want to say hi to him! It’s been a while!” Jihoon just sticks his tongue out. 

 

”Whatever, all I’m hearing is free noodles, let’s go!” Mingyu lets out a happy cheer and herds everyone out the door. Jisoo follows. He texts Jeonghan that he’s brought the team out for lunch a little early. 

 

The response?

 

_ I don’t really give a shit just make sure they make me money _ .

 

Jisoo scoffs. 

The walk to the noodle store is short, and the warm blast of heat and the scent of broth is a welcoming change. The inside is more spacious than Jisoo remembers. A friendly voice greets him. 

 

“Hyung! Wow, it’s been so long!”

 

“Soonyoung! How’s your dad? Sorry I haven’t been here in a while.” Soonyoung threads his arms into Jisoo’s elbow. 

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Oh, you brought friends! Here, let me get you a booth.”

“Hello, please feed my belly!” Mingyu chirps out. Soonyoung laughs brightly as Jihoon kicks him swiftly in the shin. Jisoo gives Soonyoung a pained smile and nudges him to lead them forward. Minghao gently leads Seokmin with the group, since he’s not looking up from his phone. 

 

The booth they get is suited for a lot of people, the table long and spacious. The menus are the placemats and Jisoo gently peels his chopsticks out of the wrapper. 

 

“Tap the buzzer when you’re ready to order!” Soonyoung flits away with a flourish. 

 

“Seokmin, look at the fucking menu before I break your phone in half. We did not  _ walk. In Three. Degrees. To watch you read Buzzfeed stories. _ ” Jihoon taps his spoon violently on the table but shrinks back once Jisoo shakes his head. 

 

“God, stop crying for just a second, okay? It’s not even enough to freeze water.” Still, Seokmin sets his phone down and looks at the menu.

 

“It’s not crying, okay? What I do is refined moderate to severe bitching.” Jihoon makes a small noise of happiness. “Oh, they have janchi-guksu here. Nice.”

 

Jisoo nods. “Okay, that's one order down. What about everyone else?” 

 

“Um, I want the bibim guksu dish.” Minghao replies, tapping Mingyu’s shoulder. 

 

“Right, and I’ll have kalguksu.” Seungkwan says he’ll have the same and Seokmin says he’ll have the dontaku ramen. 

 

Soonyoung’s back once Jisoo taps the buzzer. 

 

“Hey, so what’s everyone having today?”

 

“Oh, your waitressing today?” Jisoo asks. Normally, Soonyoung lets his employees do the work, preferring to watch and manage the shop.. 

 

“For my friend, of course!” Jisoo smiles placidly.

 

Jisoo reads the orders out loud from memory and tells Soonyoung to bring him whatever Seokjin’s making as a special that day. 

 

“Oh wa-” Seokmin looks up from his drink but when he sees Soonyoung, the water dribbles out of his mouth. 

 

“Yes?” Soonyoung says with a giggle. He takes out a cloth napkin from a pocket in his apron and gently presses it into Seokmin’s hands. 

 

“I would like you, please.” Soonyoung’s eyes widen, which is a decent feat. Seokmin doesn’t just  _ stop _ , obviously. “I meant, like, you, your,  _ your _ not you, but your not that bad? No!  _ No! _ I mean-”

 

Jisoo groans into his hands. “Oh, my god, Soonyoung, just get the food.” 

 

Once he’s gone, Jihoon shrieks. “Oh, you fucking dirty bastard, close your disgusting, drooling mouth! Oh my fuck, someone skin him. Skin me. I refuse to associate myself with a drooling horse faced bitch. God, I’m suing. He sees one hot man and suddenly his jaws break. God, I hate this place, get me out of here.”

 

Seokmin just ignores Jihoon. “Guys, I think I’m love.” The look on his face is dreamy and Jisoo coughs into his sleeve. Seokmin smiles brightly at the ceiling and sighs. Minghao finally makes a little whining sound and bursts like a dam. 

 

“Okay, guys, I want one normal meal. Just, can’t. Why- can’t I just have one, normal lunch? Without Jihoon threatening to kill someone or himself and Seokmin being dumb and falling in love with this restaurant owner and, that’s not a side dish, it’s paper towel for your hands, why would you even- Seungkwan, stop sucking the ice so grossly, and I, oh- Mingyu, that’s the sake, it’s not lychee juice, don’t drink- Oh, come on!” 

  
  
  


.X.

 

_ Hangel: Did lunch go well? Am I going to make money today or do I need to sell souls again _

 

_ Jisoos: You might need to resort to the latter _

 

_ Hangel: Thes dam ugrftl bitches tl tem to cetch tse fuckign firy hands biych _

 

_ Jisoos: Bitches was the only thing you spelled correctly, Jeonghan _

 

_ Hangel: Ha made you curse Seungcheol owes me forty bucks now guess who made money Today IT’S ME BITCH _

 

_ Hangel <Yoon Jeonghan> is now blocked from sending messages to you <Hong Jisoo> Accept or Deny? _

 

_ Hangel: Bitch I know your tryna block me nuh uh dont even think about it u shoe _

 

_ Jisoos: Fine. howd you even know anyways _

 

_ Hangel: I’ve been your best friend for two decades. Ofc ik _

 

_ Jisoos: i’m honored. _

 

_ Hangel: u should be god who could ever have the honor of saying they’ve known me for that long and is STILL by best friend for life. _

 

Jisoo sighs. With the amount he's been doing it today, he wouldn't be surprised if his lungs just popped.

 

_ Best friends for life. _

 

God, what an ugly sentence.

 

-

-

 

Seokmin slumps against his hands, propped up against the desk and sighing again. Seungkwan’s threats to shove a sock into his mouth if he sighs because he’s  _ In Love™ _ just go into one ear and out the other. He continues to fidget with the cloth napkin that Soonyoung had given him and dreams. 

 

_ “ _ Jisoo hyung, how dare you not tell me about being friends with a hot piece of, well, everything? _ ”  _ Seokim smiles at the thought of Soonyoung. His thin, upturned eyes, pink lips, long legs. Seokmin squeals in his seat, long legs accidentally knocking a jar of paper clips over. Oh well. 

 

“I don’t know, I never knew he was your type.” Seokmin looks at his supervisor. Jisoo just gives him a quick glance before going back to filling out whatever he’s always doing. How a man stays so focused? Seokmin will never know.

 

“Well, I don’t think I had a type. Before him, at least.” Jihoon makes a sound of genuine surprise. 

  
  


“What about crushes? What about past partners?” Jihoon looks up from his computer and Seokmin shrugs. 

 

“I’ve, well, I’ve never dated anyone before. Or had crush.”

 

Jihoon lets out an over dramatic gasp. “Are you a virgin or something? I don’t think even Jisoo is one!” Seokmin flushes at this and Jisoo squeaks, but he decides to humor Jihoon. After all, if Jihoon dies, less teasing on his part, right?

 

“I’ve never even had my first kiss, if you must know.”

 

Jihoon pretends to pass out and Seungkwan pretends to do a spit take. 

 

“Wow, hyung. I mean, good luck with him then.” At this, Seokmin returns the action and looks at Seungkwan as if he’s just recommended eating cat shit for dessert. 

 

“What? Oh, you thought I was going to go  _ back _ , Seungkwan, sweetie,  _ no. _ ” 

 

“Why not? If you claim to have fallen in love with him, then go back. We all  _ know _ you aren’t actually  _ in love _ , it’s just you experiencing your first crush. So just try out your luck, okay? The worse he can do is reject you. He seems like a nice enough man to not do anything bad, anyways. And so what? If he doesn't like the embodiment of sunshine itself, well then, fuck him, you know?”

 

Minghao makes everyone’s head whip over with unimaginable speed. Seokmin could’ve sworn he heard the sound of Jisoo’s neck snapping in half. Minghao just gives everyone a smug smirk. 

 

“That’s right, hoes, a bitch can be deep when he wants to.”

 

.X.

 

_ My little pony: DID YOU  just refer to everyone as hoes as in me 2 bc that offends me bc im a virgin as u can see i cannot be a ho™  _

 

_ Dumbsum: Yeah ur a ho so what suk my dik bihhhh _

 

_ My little pony: Take it back u little micro sized shrimp _

 

_ Dumbsum: okay but how bout i dont u absolute whipped-as-fuck-for-Soonyoung oh and did i mention, UR A HO  _

 

_ My little pony: go choke on your pen i hope jihoon sets u on fire by accident _

 

_ Dumbsum: Jun sent me a dick pic GOTTA BLASt _

 

No one even bats an eye when Seokmin shrieks and literally hurls his phone in the potted plant across the room. 

 

-

-

 

Seungkwan waits in the copy room for his report to finish printing, and regrets not bringing his phone. He plays with the light switch until he gets dizzy before there’s a cough behind him. 

 

“Oh, hey Hansol. Whatcha here for?” Hansol gives him a smile. Seungkwan's heart flutters a bit.

 

“I need to print my analysis for this week’s review out.”

 

“Oooh. Nice, I’m waiting for my thing to print and then you can use the printer.” 

 

Hansol nods and walks to the printer to set his computer down when he calls out to Seungkwan. 

 

“Seungkwan, there’s nothing printing.”

 

“What? But it’s making the noise-” Seungkwan sees that indeed, the printer is not printing. Instead, it’s spitting out blanks sheets of paper.

 

“No problem, it must mean the cartridge is out of ink.”

 

“Got it, I’ll change it.” Seungkwan leans over to open the cartridge case but it doesn't open. He lets out a little frustrated hum and doesn’t so much as punch it as he hurtles his fist into it when the lid snaps open and black ink explodes all over his shirt. “Son of a bitch, what the fuck!” In his surprise, Seungkwan stumbles backwards but then hits Hansol. 

 

Out of instinct, Seungkwan just latches onto Hansol and drops to the side, slamming Hansol into the printer and his side hits the top of it. 

 

Seungkwan can effectively announce that his ribcage is nicely broken into two. 

 

They stay like that for a little, trying to catch their breaths before there’s footsteps and a screech that sounds like a dying velociraptor. 

 

Seungkwan reaches a hand out to a Jeonghan that gets closer, but Jeonghan slaps his hand away and caresses what’s left of the printer. 

 

“You little shits, what the fuck did you do to Irene!” Jeonghan lets out a wail. “What did my precious Irene ever do to you! Oh, Irene, baby, you’re going to get through this!”

 

Seungkwan watches in shock as he struggles to climb off of Hansol. 

 

“I knew it, I _ knew _ you liked the fucking printer better than us!” And as soon as Seungkwan screams out the accusement, Irene decides she’s not done yet and gurgles out a stream of black ink, a pitiful trickle that stains the front of Jeonghan’s shirt. By now, Seungcheol and Jisoo are in the room. 

 

“Okay, nevermind, I hate this bitch ass printer. It can choke.” Jeonghan eyes Jisoo for a second before letting out a smile that the Cheshire cat would be jealous of. “Jisoo, give me your shirt.”

 

“What? No!” Jisoo says, crossing his arms protectively around himself. 

 

“C’mon, please! I’m all covered in ink and do you really want it to be on your conscious that you let me be all gross and inky for the rest of the day?” Jeonghan pouts and clasps his hands together, willing the strength of two decades worth of friendship to be enough to get him to hand over one his shirts. Jisoo finally gives it. 

 

Seungkwan nudges Hansol and Hansol giggles knowingly. The sound is enough to make Seungkwan blush and smile.

 

“Fine! God, you’re lucky that I normally layer sweaters with button downs because otherwise I’d nev-”

 

“ _ Give me the fucking shirt, Hong Jisoo! _ ”

 

Jisoo shuts up and flushes as he takes of the sweater that’s on him and pats his button down that’s under it. Jeonghan angrily rips of his shirt and Seungkwan can’t really help but stare because  _ god damn, the man has a nice body.  _

 

If Seungkwan noticed Hansol’s glare, he didn’t say anything about it. But Jeonghan did. Of course he did. Because Jeonghan isn’t an angel, he’s a snake. A lowlife, living-in-a-gutter, trash eating snake.

 

“Stop staring, I’m reporting you for sexual harassment! Go back to work! Shoo, shoo, you little rats!”

 

Seungkwan stomps out of the room, Hansol being dragged along with him as he dramatically claims to sue the company for lack of employee care. Seungcheol follows them out. 

 

“If you’re going to strip yourself with a body like that at least make sure your audience isn’t gay! And you just so totally did it so Jisoo hyung could see what you’re packing, you ain’t fooling anyone, hyung, everyone knows you probably dream of fucking Hong J- Ow! Hansol, stop kicking me! Bitch!”

  
  


Jisoo closes his eyes and chooses to ignore what Seungkwan said about Jeonghan doing it on purpose. His head hurts and the slight smell of printer ink and a fried circuit makes him dizzy.

 

“He’s not wrong, you know.” 

 

Winking, Yoon Jeonghan slithers out of the room and Hong Jisoo physically  _ can not.  _

 

_.X.  _

 

_ MountVernon: Seungkwan _

 

_ Kwackers: Yeh _

 

_ MountVernon: Do you think jeonghan hyung had a nice body _

 

_ Kwackers: r u blind of course maybe one of the nicest ive ever seen _

 

_ MountVernon: -image attached- -click to view- _

 

_ Kwackers: Did you really just send me an ab pic. Of you _

 

_ MountVernon: Yeh im jealous of Jeonghan rn so  _

 

_ Kwackers: Hello my name is Seungkwan i’m from Jeju and my hole is ready for you _

_ Kwackers: And u call urself the rapper bitch byeE _

 

_ MountVernon: okay nvm im not jealous bye go run to jeonghan _

 

_ Kwackers: R u just leaving like that u little shit r u blind i just said my hole is open 4 u _

 

_ MountVernon: no jk i’ll be at your house at nine bye _

 

-

-

  
  


Hansol traces the bridge of Seungkwan’s nose, smiling as he does so. His friend looks so peacefully, looking fucked out but  _ gorgeous _ . His cheeks are tinted red and his breathing is calm, which in turn makes Hansol calm. 

 

God, he doesn’t know how much longer he can take it. Being in  _ love _ like this, to hold it back, to keep it a secret, can’t be good for anyone. It makes his heart pulse sadly, as if it’s slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t have Seungkwan in the way he wants.

 

But this- this,  _ casual _ sex thing, it really isn’t who he is. Hansol knows he can’t do more than commitment but if it’s for Seungkwan, so what?

 

There’s always the little, itty bitty, ‘what if’ that prevents Hansol from stopping the whole thing. 

 

As if sensing his distress, Seungkwan makes a little whining noise in his sleep and turns into Hansol’s chest. 

 

Hansol ignores the dull ache in his ribcage and focuses on how beautiful their heartbeats sound when they’re in sync.

 

-

-

Chan walks up the steps of the glass building, the intimidating shadow completely covering him and the block. But it’s his first job and even though it’s only an intership, it’s a paid intership so it’s worth it. And it’s one step closer to getting him towards his goal, to be hired for a real job in the company. 

 

He makes his way through the lobby, men and women alike wearing sharp suits, and some women in pencil skirts and heels that could double as knives rushing from place to place. He clutches his ID in his hand as he makes his way to the rotating bars. 

 

Placing his ID under the scanner, he waits for the light in front of him to turn green and he pushes on the bar. Getting through, he heads for the elevator. Being here once for an interview, he knows the way to the floor. 

 

Once he’s on the elevator, he sees that the seventeenth floor is already lit up so he just tries his best to not knock into someone else. 

  
  


It’s crowded, but people start trickling out as the floors start to get higher so the crowd isn’t as bad as the beginning. He’s the only one in the elevator by the time he’s on the sixteenth floor so he guesses that someone just hit it by accident. 

 

Finally, the elevator dings and the doors open. Chan steps out and finds that there are two separate offices, one reading  **SVT A** and the other reading  **SVT B** and heads for the one that says ‘B’. 

 

Opening the doors, he’s met with six people that whip their heads around in almost perfect coordination. 

 

“Hello, you must be our new intern. Welcome. I’m the supervisor, Hong Jisoo.” A man with strangely feline features is leaning against the desk and dressed in all black. But despite his intimidating clothes and pose, there’s a smile on his face that matches everyone else’s. Chan takes in a deep breath. 

 

“Yes, I’m Chan, the new intern here. I hope to be able to work well with all of you!”

Chan finishes off with a happy smile on his face, and someone on the side coughs. He turns to look at them, a small man with the desk nameplate ready ‘Lee Jihoon’.

 

There’s a grin on his face but it’s different than the ones on the others. It’s, -it’s,  _ scary. _

 

“Welcome to your new hell, kid.”

 

Chan blanches and the smile drops off his face. 

 

_ Wait. What? _

  
  



	2. rain rain, go away (please stay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually fucking dumb i thought i posted this like two days ago but i just saved it as a draft i hate cursing in my notes but thats how dumb i am also Sam will be joining us in the notes at the bottom today!!!

Chan tries to make his coffee in peace. 

 

Really, it shouldn’t be such a fucking hard thing to do. All you need is hot water, some sugar and milk or cream if you so choose to, and a spoon to mix everything together. That’s it. 

 

But he had discovered within minutes that the people of this office make even the most menial tasks quite challenging. (Read: Never going to happen, ever.) Chan sighs as he watches through half closed eyes as Mingyu proceeds to somehow go flying into the counter and slam into the counter. Apparently, air is easy to trip over. 

 

It’s been one week at the office and he’s already seen emergencies that would require an ambulance and medical personnel under normal circumstances. 

 

For example, Jihoon had thrown a pen angrily at Minghao (Chan doesn’t know why) and it hit him in the eye. (Even though his eyes were closed, so it didn’t even hurt, Minghao bitched about it. For three straight hours before Chan bursted out in actual tears and everyone started to comfort him, whoops.) 

 

Another time, Jihoon threw a stapler at Mingyu and it missed the top of his head by mere millimeters. Mingyu had just calmly stood up and moved to the desk besides him, picked up the small man, and threw him over his shoulder. Jihoon bit his shoulder and then Mingyu dropped him, crying that he was going to get rabies. Jihoon rolled onto the floor limply, standing up and brushing himself off as if nothing had happened.

 

He’s also seen Jeonghan, the very boss man of the place, drop a cup of nearly scalding coffee  _ onto _ his  _ dick _ while he watched Jisoo stretch during break. He didn’t even make a sound about it, choosing to make a little sigh at Jisoo as he rolled his shoulders out.

 

But Jeonghan’s the boss man and for the sake of his not-really-there dignity, Chan pretends like he never saw it. 

 

And now, Chan is witnessing yet another homicide attempt by none other than Lee Jihoon himself. In fact, it’s usually always him or Jeonghan. Chan decides that they should be replaced before  _ he’s _ killed, too.

 

_ Huh? What a random ass intrusive thought. _ (Random, his ass.)

 

“You fucking whore-faced eggshell fucker! Mingyu, did you just touch my fucking coffee machine? My fucking child? You dare to lay your filthy, ass fucking fingers on my fucking  _ baby _ ?” Chan sighs as he watches Mingyu gulp and back away for the door. 

 

“Hyung, I didn’t even hit it! I landed mostly on the coffee beans, I swear!”

 

Chan swears he sees Jihoon sprout horns over his head and he’s not going crazy, he really sees his canines stretch into sharp fangs. Chan shivers. 

 

“You. Fucking. Dirtied. Up. The coffee beans.  _ Which I imported. _ From.  _ Columbia. _ With. Your lubed up, rectum touching. Fingers. My  _ dark roast _ . The one that I got. Imported from.  _ Columbia.  _ God, a bitch is going to die  _ today! _ ” 

 

Chan looked up from the floor. He’s thinking a lot of things right now. Such as,  _ Hyung, aren’t you gay, too? And even if you weren’t would an asshole really be grosser than a self-cleaning, self regulating vag- _

 

_ Wait. Whoops. _

 

The glass door clicks open with a gentle swishing sound and Jeonghan follows, Jisoo dragged behind him looking like a dragged cat. 

 

“Oh, thank God, boss, you’re right in time. You can stop this mess!” Chan motions wildly to a whimpering 6’0’ tall man crouching and trembling away from someone nearly half a foot shorter. 

 

“Are you kidding? I’m betting Cheollie seven bucks that Jihoon’s gonna whip Mingyu’s ass.”

 

“And I was dragged here, I didn’t want to be here.” Jisoo sulks around in a corner. 

 

“Jihoon! I swear, I tripped over something! I’d never do something like this on purpose!” Chan makes a sound of surprise, like a yelp, when actual tears start to glisten across Mingyu’s thick, black lashes. 

 

Chan sucks in a deep breath. God, he can already see how it’s going to end. Mingyu dead on the table with coffee beans spilling out his mouth and Jihoon smiling in the corner. So he just does what any normal person would do. 

 

He yells bloody murder and calls for Wonwoo, the said man running in seconds later. 

 

  
“Chan! What the fuck?” Wonwoo bursts in the room in all of his glory and immediately Jihoon lets go of Mingyu’s lapels and Mingyu slumps to the ground, relaxing like a balloon that’s lost all of its air. Jihoon laughs maniacally for a second, kicks Mingyu in his shin (his favorite spot, it seems) and strolls out the door. 

 

“Why did Jihoon just stop?” Jeonghan says, pouting at his seat at the table. “What’s Wonwoo got on him that he stopped! It was just about to get fun!”

 

Jihoon pops his head back into the doorway for a second. “I don’t deal with jealous boyfriends, sorry.”

 

Wonwoo kind of-  _ nudges _ a collapsed Mingyu with a foot and when he twitches, he sighs. 

 

“I don’t know what that means but Mingyu, get the fuck up, you’re late to our meeting. I’m supposed to give you a contract sheet to go over.”

 

Jeonghan then suddenly shrieks, nearly knocking Jisoo over in the process. “It means Mingyu wants you to fuck him!” He scrams out the door with a flushed Jisoo at his tail. Jisoo yells out a quick apology and Wonwoo seems like he’s going to pop.

 

Chan realizes that he always does, like he’s pressing down everything he’s feeling so he can punch his walls when he’s at home.

 

Chan is going to quit. He’s putting his foot down right here. But then a little thought wiggles its way into his brain and he walks out the break room, still devoid of any coffee. 

 

_ Who’s gonna call the ambulance when Jihoon really does snap? _

 

.X.

 

_ Jisoos: Jeonghan u cant just say people wanna sleep wit other ppl ok _

 

_ Hangel: suck my dic bich _

 

_ Jisoos: Jeonghan.  _

 

_ Hangel: Sorry babe _

 

_ Jisoos: Jeonghan!! _

 

_ Hangel: mkay sorry bestie ily forever and i would never imagine doing that ever again but fr suck my dick plz ive been deprived of late _

 

_ Jisoos: im leaving. Bye. im done. Peace, my ex-friend _

 

_ Hangel: chiken for dinner at my place?  _

 

_ Jisoos: ur paying also get the spicy ckicn i dont realy like the regualr chicekn but if they dont have it just get the soy sauce ckien i guees just not the regulr cickin _

 

_ Hangel: u spelled chicken wrong, like, more than i thought was physcially possible in 1 sentence _

 

_ Jisoos: do u want me to buy beer or not _

 

_ Hangel: ill get u ur ckiekn _

 

_ Hangel: chken _

 

_ Hangel: ckinh _

 

_ Hangel: Chicken _

 

_ Jisoos: im blocking u _

 

_ Hangel: as long as its not a cock block lol get it bc we’re having CHICKEN lolololololololololol _

 

_ Jisoos: ill cut ur dick off lol suck it on ur own lol lol lol  _

 

_ Hangel: Im??? Terrified??? But it sounds kinky im down _

 

_ Jisoos: im going to crucify myself brb _

 

_ -Read: 12:19 by Hangel _

 

_ 12: 31 _

 

_ Hangel: But fr mingyu wants to get fucked by wonwoo right? _

  
  


-

-

 

Seokmin sits at the booth, legs swinging happily and the the chopsticks wrapper has been torn up into a square and folded up into an origami crane. Seokmin didn’t even know he knew how to do that. 

 

“Hello, ho- oh, hello, Seokmin.” Soonyoung looks up from his notepad. 

 

“Hello hello, Soonyoung. Nice day, isn’t it?” Seokmin waves his arm in the general direction of the windows, but it’s chilly and winter out so he just slumps in his seat when Soonyoung raises his brow.

 

“Seokmin, you’ve been here four times in the past week. It’s getting unhealthy.”

 

“Well, your smiles heal me, so all good here!” Soonyoung sighs at the teasing manner Seokmin gives off. But the sigh seems to be related to the shadows under his eyes, not him. “Hm, why do you look so tired, hmm? You’re the owner of the restaurant, why don’t you ever take a break?” Seokmin inquires, disliking how slightly swollen Soonyoung’s eyes look.

 

“Can’t. Taehyung went home with a stomach bug so until he’s back in two days, I’m filling in for him. Can’t say I’m not used to sitting out, though.” Seokmin chuckles.

 

“Lucky. I’m on my feet all day.” 

 

“What’s going on in the office? Is Jeonghan being a dick again?” 

 

“Nah, I just have a busy job.” Seokmin laughs and fidgets with the end of his spoon. He sees Soonyoung blushing out of the corner of his eyes and smiles at his hands. 

 

“Anyways, you must be hungry. I’ll get you something besides noodles, you’re going to get bloated. Then I’ll really be at fault for endangering your health.”

 

“Don’t worry, my friend’s a nurse. He’s very kind.” Seokmin takes a sip of his water, throat dry.

 

“Hm. I’m still getting you tonkatsu or tteokbokki. I don’t want you to throw up all over the place.”

 

“Then take care of me, Soonyoungie!”

 

“Soonyoungie? Really? And I’m not kidding, Seokmin, you’re going to get sick if you keep eating these noodles. I’m putting you on a ban for two weeks. No more coming in here.”

 

Seokmin’s smile falters, but then he thinks of something and it gets all big again. 

 

“Alright, then I guess I’ll just have to find out how to see you out of work!” Seokmin stands up from his seat, giving an open-mouthed Soonyoung a little pat on the shoulder. “Close your mouth, Soonyoungie, you’ll catch flies!”

 

“Hey! I will not!” Seokmin giggles and stretches a little, and then his eye catches on the origami swan he made earlier. He hands it to Soonyoung, who takes it without question but one brow is raised and Seokmin wants to touch it. 

 

“Here, I’ll give you a thousand of them. Well, nine hundred ninety-nine of them, now.” Seokmin starts making his way down the aisles of the restaurant.

 

“Why? Why would I need a thousand of these?” Soonyoung still places it in his pocket instead of throwing it out, so Seokmin decides to smile cryptically before going out the door. He ignores the little whine that Soonyoung makes of confusion.

 

Seokmin walks out of the restaurant, skipping happily and spreading his arms out a little bit. He bites his lips, holding back a smile that threatens to rip across his whole face. There would be nothing in this world that could make him upset right now, not after witnessing Soonyoung blush like that. 

 

_ Ping. _

 

Seokmin opens up his phone. 

 

_ Boss Bitch: Hurry ur skinny ass over and get to the break room we’ve got an emergency if u dont come rn i swear im going to kill myself by eating this cactus okay  _

 

Never mind. There  _ is _ something and he’s a pretty man who looks like an angel but would totally pull a rug out from under your feet just because he needs something to laugh at. 

 

-

-

 

Wonwoo starts making his way to the break room, and seeing nearly everyone else in the hallway, he guesses they’ve all received Jeonghan’s threatening yet pressing text. 

 

_ What the hell could be an emergency now? Is it going to be last time, when he accidentally used up $10,000 of his dad’s funds? _

 

Wonwoo scoffs at how he has a friend who  _ could _ spend ten thousand dollars by accident because he went shopping with a  _ black _ card instead of his regular  _ gold _ one.

 

God, it disgusts him.

 

“Hello, Wonwoo. How was your lunch?” Mingyu’s voice interrupts his thoughts. 

  
  


“Mhm. Fine, yours?” Wonwoo prays that Mingyu will take the hint that he doesn’t care, he just asked out of politeness, but he doesn’t. Of course to fucking God he doesn’t. 

 

“Eh, it was okay. Minghao accidentally forwarded a naked picture of Jun to me, yours truly, this boy right here, so I went temporarily blind and batshit insane but other than that, my ramen was great!” Wonwoo gags as he imagines what Mingyu had to see but then he questions why Mingyu ate ramen. He’s a mini-health nut, a health nut in blooming, you might call it. 

 

“Ramen? Why would someone like you eat ramen?”

 

Mingyu flushes. “I don’t really have time to cook these days.”

 

“Then go to a restaurant.” Wonwoo kind of cringes when he hears how harsh he sounds. It's not like he’s his mom or anything.

 

“Yeah, but homemade food is way better. Oh look, the doors are open, we should go in!” Mingyu leans in and grabs Wonwoo’s hand, and while Wonwoo realizes it’s out of instinct, he can’t help but feel flushed. 

 

Except Wonwoo’s instincts kick in a second later and it makes him awkwardly worm his way out of Mingyu’s grasp. He just enters the room in quiet as Mingyu gasps. 

 

“Sorry! Oh, my God, I do that all the time to Minghao, it’s a habit. Sorry!” Wonwoo ignores it and takes a seat next to Jihoon, the next resident emo. Jihoon pats him once on the thigh and Wonwoo loosely drapes an arm behind Jihoon’s chair. They get each other, it’s a thing. 

 

_ I do it all the time to Minghao. _ Wonwoo holds his wrist where Mingyu did.

 

He ignores the burning in his wrist but then at the same time he can’t stop imagining Mingyu’s hand on his. 

 

Jeonghan stands up from the middle of the table and slams both of his hands down on the table. 

 

“So I called you guys here because I wanted to play truth or dare-”

 

“Bitch!” Jihoon jumps up from his seat and lunges for Jeonghan’s jugular, Chan screaming in panic and flailing while Jisoo tries to block Jihoon from actually making contact. 

 

Wonwoo smirks. 

 

He couldn’t have done it better himself. 

 

See? They get each other.

 

-

-

 

Mingyu watches as Wonwoo gives Jihoon a smirk from the back, and suddenly, he wants to clock Jihoon in the head. 

 

Except Jihoon is the one doing the clocking. In a dramatic arm swing, he accidentally punches Jisoo straight in the stomach, dead center.  Like, with an actual thump and an echo that follows after. Jisoo just kind of- 

 

Grunts and falls like a thin little sheet of lasagna and slides into Jeonghan’s lap. Jeonghan’s screaming at Jihoon but Mingyu (everyone to ever have fucking eyes) can see he’s clearly enjoying to have to hold up Jisoo.

 

Finally, things calm down, (Jisoo’s still in Jeonghan’s lap) and Jeonghan starts again. 

 

“As I was saying, before I was so  _ rudely interrupted, _ my poor husband here was gravely and brutally murdered, I wanted to play truth or dare. Chan’s new here, and what better initiation than truth or dare?”

 

Jisoo doesn’t even flinch when he’s called ‘husband’ and instead just runs his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair while they sit. 

 

Mingyu glups. And so does everyone else. Jeonghan’s got an evil shine in his eye, one that says, “you’re dying today in my hands”, and shivers. Mingyu’s never been good at lying, so it’s not like he can cheat his way out. And when it comes to anyone (besides Jisoo, of course), Jeonghan can just,  _ tell _ when you’re lying or not. And with Seungcheol and Chan, just chooses to ignore. Chan, because he’s cute. Seungcheol, because he doesn’t care.

 

So Mingyu takes one last glance at Wowoo (he’s going to cut off Jihoon’s head because it’s resting against Wonwoo’s shoulder right now when it should. Be. Him.) and braces himself. 

 

“Okay, I’ll ask first. Hansol, truth or dare?” Jeonghan grips Jisoo’s side with one hand and sets the other one down on the table and puts his chin on his palm. Hansol grins. 

 

“Truth.”

 

“Aw, you fucking baby!” Minghao says. Hansol just ignores him. 

 

“Okay, um. Seungkwannie, I guess.” Hansol gives Seungkwan a  _ little _ too hard thwack on his back but Mingyu just thinks it’s them being them. 

 

“Babe! Really?” Seungkwan gasps and flutters his eyelashes, leaning in closely to Hansol. Mingyu watches as Hansol’s brows draw in close together as if he’s frowning, yet he has an easy smile plastered on his face. Mingyu sighs. He guesses that he likes Seungkwan. 

 

“Yeah, I mean, I’m the closest with you here out of everyone.” Seungkwan makes a noise of content but Mingyu narrows his eyes at Hansol because he’s red but it’s not a blush. It colors in every inch of his face down his neck and he’s pinching his thigh, like he’s physically holding himself back from doing something. 

 

“Okay, whatever, I expected that. Wonwoo, you next. Mingyu, why don’t you ask?”

 

Jeonghan licks his lips like he’s a starving lion that’s just bit into its prey. 

 

Mingyu gulps, laughing nervously. Minghao mocks his laugh and Mingyu punches his arm. 

 

“Alright, Wonwoo. Truth or dare?” 

 

Wonwoo contemplates for a moment. “Truth.”

 

Mingyu clasps his hands awkwardly and lets out a breath, as if he’s thinking. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as Jihoon boredly stares with his chin on Wonwoo’s shoulder and the Mingyu thinks of his question. 

 

_ Would someone like you see anything in someone like me? _

 

“What do you think your biggest character flaw is?”

 

Wonwoo lets out a gruff noise. It sounds like it could be laugh. “My inability to take in alcohol.”

 

Seungcheol laughs. “Yeah, he  _ cannot _ lie when he gets drunk. It's like the truth telling part of his brain is the only part left. He’s an ordained minister, by the way. And he’s dated a guy before.  _ Guys _ , actually, with an ‘s’.”

 

“Hyung, you’re okay with men?” Chan leans forward in his chair, hands under his thighs and eyes big. 

 

“Oh, my God. This whole time I couldn’t set you up with someone and I didn’t. What a waste of a pretty face, Wonwoo.” Seokmin makes  _ tsking _ noises with his mouth and settles into his chair, legs obnoxiously wide and arms crossed. 

 

“See? My biggest flaw.”

 

Mingyu’s brain tucks it away, nice and safe.

 

“Okay, okay, I’m bored. Next! Cheollie, you’re  _ up! _ ” Jeonghan makes the word sound like he’s an umpire calling up his next player. 

 

“Okay. I’ll ask Jihoon.” Mingyu runs his tongue over his teeth to cover up his smile- the  _ blush _ on his face is so goddamn red and obvious. 

 

Jihoon sighs and cracks his knuckles like he was just asked to punch his younger brother or something. 

 

“Whatever, I’ll pick dare.” 

 

Seungcheol has one good thing going for him. Acting as if he’s chill and teasing when he’s about has high-strung as a violin string. 

 

Mingyu snorts. 

 

-

-

 

Seungcheol blanches when Jihoon picked dare. Honestly, he didn’t look like the type to do so. But he apparently is, and shoots out the first thing that’s been on his mind. 

 

“Sit on my thigh for the rest of this game.” 

 

That by itself is disgusting and gag-inducing so Seungcheol narrows his eyes in a joking way and and leans back in his seat, crossing his legs and arms and raising a brow just to give of the “try me, bitch, I am what a true  _ man _ is” aura. 

 

It seems to work because Jihoon just opens and closes his mouth like a dying fish. 

 

Finally, without a word and heavy legs, Jihoon gets up in front of everyone and takes  _ a seat on Seuncheol’s leg. _

 

Everyone makes whooping sounds, hollering and yelling about how they should get a room. Jisoo covers Chan’s eyes with a hand and his own with the other. 

 

And then Jihoon starts bouncing up and down. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing!” Seungcheol says in alarm, hands snapping out to Jihoon’s waist out of instinct to get him to stop moving. 

 

Jihoon doesn’t seem to register the touch and continues to bounce around on his  _ ass _ on top of Seungcheol’s  _ thigh _ . 

 

“Your thigh- it’s really hard, what the fuck? Do you live at the gym or something?” Jihoon then spins around and slams a small hand into Seungcheol’s chest, eyes wide open. “What the fuck, do you have a six-pack or something?”

 

Seungcheol doesn’t know what to do, besides scream bloody murder and how this counts as sexual harassment. Chan is screaming bloody murder again and Wonwoo looks he’s about to pop from the laughter being held in. Seokmin and Minghao video record and Mingyu gives him a funny look. Jisoo buries his head into Jeonghan’s shoulder and Jeonghan’s not looking because he’s too busy smiling at Jisoo. 

 

Seungcheol feels Jihoon’s slender figure under his fingers. He can feel ribs, but they’re slight and not enough to cause worry. 

 

Jihoon’s waist is nearly small enough to fit into both of his hands encircled. 

 

It feels perfect. 

 

Seungcheol hates that end then just dumps Jihoon out of his seat and bolts out of the room.

 

Making his way to a bathroom, he just lets everything out of his stomach. 

 

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and a paper towel being handed to him. 

 

“I have antacids in my bag. I’ll give it to you after I help you clean up.”

 

Seungcheol looks up, and then nods, wiping himself off. He makes his way to the sink, leaning most of his weight onto his friend. Washing his mouth out, he closes his eyes and falls against the wall, sliding to the floor and burying his head into his hands. A hand gently pats him as he tries to not cry in the middle of a bathroom floor after he embarrassingly bolted out of a game of truth or dare. 

 

“God, what do I do with myself? I don’t even know why I feel sick, nothing even happened to me. I should be fine, God, I must be a weak ass or something/”

 

“Just, just do what I do. Pretend it doesn’t hurt and just try again. And keep doing it, just to test your limits and see where you snap.”

 

Seungcheol smiles, but it’s sad and makes his eyes droop. 

 

“That’s awfully sadistic of you. And very unhealthy.” Seungcheol feels the shoulders next to his shrug indifferently. 

 

“I guess. I haven't found mine yet, my limit. I’m still pushing. So I’m good, for now.”

 

Seungcheol drops his head onto his friend's shoulder. “Doesn't sound like it.”

 

-

-

 

Minghao asks Jisoo if he can leave an hour earlier that day, since Jun is coming back from his shift at the hospital and it’s been a while since they’ve had a night out together. 

 

Jisoo smiles and sends him off with a soft sigh and Minghao bolts out the door. 

 

The home they’ve made for themselves is a comfy thing. A spacious apartment, available only because of Jun’s head nurse of the children's’ wing salary and Minghao’s software engineering money, they’ve turn the place into a rustic little getaway from their realities. 

 

The first thing he does when he gets home is shower. Then, puts on one of Jun’s huge t-shirts and boxers. He flits around the apartment, putting away loose articles of clothing and throwing out small pieces of trash that have accumulated throughout the house. 

 

When the door opens, Minghao tosses the last trashbag down the garbage shoot and hurdles out the kitchen, straight into Jun’s arm. Jun gives him a tired laugh and kisses him. 

 

“Hey, Haohao. I missed you. And my shoulders missed you.”

 

Minghao giggles, peppering Jun’s face with kisses. One on his nose, on his cheek, on his eyelid, his brow bone, his chin. 

 

Minghao pushes Jun to the couch, where he’s set up a box of pizza and two glasses of apple juice. Neither of them are really big drinkers. 

 

“Baby, you’re the best. God, I feel like I’m going to melt.” Jun sighs and throws himself onto the couch, Minghao following closely behind and snuggling into his chest. 

 

They stay like that for a while, Minghao closing his eyes and feeling Jun breath under him as his boyfriend’s hands run through his hair and over his back. Finally, Jun settles to hugging him. 

 

Minghao doesn’t understand why Jun likes to hug him so much. It’s like he’d rather hold Minghao than to kiss him, or other things. As if Jun let's go, it’ll be his last time holding him. 

 

Minghao has never said anything about it, just let Jun do his thing. 

 

And then Minghao here’s Jun’s stupid phone go off and groans, getting off of him. 

 

“Minghao, I’m sorry. But I don’t think it’s something that I need to go visit, so lemme just respond, okay?”

 

Minghao sighs, giving Jun a peck on the lips. “I’m not,  _ him,  _ you know. I’m not going to  _ stop _ you from responding to a text when you’re literally a medical professional, Jun.” It bugs Minghao that sometimes Jun feels the need to get  _ permission _ to do literally the most trivial things. In the beginning of their relationship, Jun would ask him whether he could go meet friends, go grocery shopping, go to a party with people that Minghao didn’t know, drink alcohol and even sometimes, _ go to the bathroom _ .

 

It had taken so long to get Jun over his fear of “getting in trouble” and it probably did Jun more damage to keep reverting back into his old self than it hurt Minghao, but it still hit him pretty hard. 

 

Minghao just nods when Jun grins sheepishly and apologizes and listens to the rain outside. It was very light earlier, but now, it’s enough that he can hear the wind blowing outside and the droplets pelting the window. 

 

Jun finishes up his text and takes a bite out of a slice of pizza. 

 

“Do you, uh, need-” 

 

“Nope, Jackson just wanted to make sure that the penicillin shipment was supposed to come in tomorrow.” Jun frowns. “I don’t understand how we ran out so fast, though. It’s like kids are dropping dead from allergies left and right.”

 

“Not actually-”

 

“No, not actually dead.”

 

“Oh, thank God.” Minghao finishes his slice and leans against the side of Jun’s body. It’s like a mold to him, a safe haven. 

 

Jun also takes his last bite and brushes off his hands, giggling when Minghao nudges his side for getting crumbs on the carpet. 

 

Jun lays his head down on a pillow, and when Minghao looks at him again, he’s sleeping. 

 

Minghao feels his stomach churn but he tucks him in nicely with a thick, brown blanket and puts a pillow under his head. They bought a special couch that mimicked the mattress of a bed so Jun could sleep in it when he came home late. Minghao bites his lip as he thinks about it. 

 

_ Why not just come into our room. Didn’t we get a bed to sleep on it together? _

 

_ Jun had smiled had Minghao asked him this, glaring at the couch.  _

 

_ Why would I want to bother my little angel? Jun had giggled after that but it sounded sad to Minghao _

 

_ And so then Minghao just pressed a kiss into his lips. _

 

Minghao feels sick to his stomach so he puts the leftover pizza into the kitchen and brushes his teeth, the peppermint burning away the bile in his throat. 

 

Oh, dear God.

 

-

-

  
  


Jihoon look at Jeonghan in the doorway, tapping his foot impatiently against the floor as he waits for Jisoo to finish packing. 

 

“Jihoon, are you sure you want to work overtime? It’s going to start raining harder later at night.” Jisoo gives him a worried glance, but Jihoon decides it’s okay because he can’t hear the rain anyways so how bad could it be?

 

“Nah, I really want to finish this sheet. Go have fun with  your fuck b-  _ friend. _ See you tomorrow!”

 

Jisoo gives him a dirty glare but Jeonghan slaps Jisoo on the butt and runs out. Jisoo yells and runs after him. 

 

Jihoon cracks his knuckles and starts typing again. 

 

After another thirty minutes pass, Jihoon decides he’s done enough for one day and starts packing up. Turning off the lights and locking the door, Jihoon heads for the elevator and walks down the lobby. 

 

Jihoon doesn’t like this building late at night, when the lights are dim and everyone’s home for the day. 

 

He also regrets staying later because it’s absolutely  _ torrential _ out there. 

 

“Ah, fuck. Should I just stay at the company nap room tonight?” Jihoon presses his face up to the windows in the front of the building. 

 

There’s a soft patter of footsteps behind him and Jihoon spins around to see an exhausted Seungcheol looking surprised to see him. 

 

“Jihoon? You didn’t go home yet?”

 

“Ah, yeah. I wanted to finish my sheet.”

 

“Oh. Are you going home?”

 

“I might just have to stay in the nap room.”

 

Seungcheol seems to contemplate something for a minute, before letting out a little ‘aha’. Jihoon thinks the man acts too much like a child sometimes when obviously his  _ body _ wasn’t.

 

“I’ll drive you home. The beds here are disgustingly uncomfortable and no taxi is going to be out in this whether.”

 

Jihoon bites his lip. He’d accept if it was anyone else- Wonwoo, Jisoo, maybe even Jeonghan. 

 

But Seungcheol? Jihoon didn’t know him at all. Not really, even as coworkers. Just that he went to the gym often and was good at his job and was close to Jeonghan and Mingyu. 

 

But then he hears the wind whip through the pillars out front and sighs. At least he’s not a total stranger, it wouldn’t be scary. 

 

“If you don’t mind. Are you sure you can? I wouldn’t want to push you.”

 

Seungcheol gives him a lopsided smile. “I’m doing that myself.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothing. Let’s go out to the garage, hmm?”

  
  


The car ride is quiet besides the drone of the radio and the constant downpour beating against the windows. 

 

_ “All major roads through the Jongho district and Yongsan have been blocked off. Reporters on sight have updated the status of the region to flooding. Safety officials are continuing to direct water out of the city. Repeat. All major r-” _

 

“Fuck!” Jihoon gasps. “I’ve got to pass through Yongsan station to get home. Shit, sorry, Seungcheol. Just drop me off at the nearest hotel.”

 

Seungcheol gives him a weird look. “You live in Yongsan? It’s seven kilometers away, isn’t it far?”

 

Jihoon sighs into his hands. “I have a car, and I live in Hannam Dong, not Yongsan. I just drive past the station to get there. Ah, fuck. The one day I don’t drive.”

 

Seungcheol grips the steering wheel. “Stay over at my place, Jihoon. I know we aren’t that  _ super _ close but I’m still your coworker and friend and I’m  _ not _ just going to leave you at a hotel by yourself.”

 

“Bu-”

 

“No. I’m not a dick, Jihoon. I don’t want it on my conscious that I did this to a person.”

 

Jihoon closes his mouth. 

 

“Alright, then. Thank you, by the way.”

 

Seungcheol gives him a smile and Jihoon inhales. 

 

“It’s nothing. Just another thing I’m pushing.”

 

Jihoon tilts his head ever so slightly. “Pushing what?”

 

Seungcheol smiles cutely, scrunching up his nose. 

 

“My boundaries.”

  
  


-

-

 

Jeonghan finishes the last of his chicken, sucking on his fingers noisily before heading to the kitchen to wash his hands. Jisoo rolls his eyes but uses his fork to neatly tear the last piece of meat off his chicken leg and follows suit. 

 

“Jeonghan, don’t make obnoxious noises like that.”

 

“Jisoo, stop talking like that. You sound pretentious.”

 

“Funny, because I thought you were.”

 

Jeonghan fakes a gasp and scrunches his head back in mock disgust. “Ex- _ cuse _ me? Pretentious? Bitch, please.” Jeonghan turns to face Jisoo and flicks water droplets towards him with his hands. Jisoo sputters when they spray around his face. 

 

“You live in a penthouse that costs roughly man-won a month to live in.”

 

“Pft. That’s dad’s issue, not mine. He just likes to keep me close so I can’t get into trouble.” Jisoo holds himself back from dumping the bucket of chicken bones that’s now in the trash can over Jeonghan’s head and settles for groaning. 

 

“I’m going to brush my teeth. Coming with?” Jisoo walks for the bathroom. The cheap, oily aftertaste of chicken has always been disgusting so he’s always brushed his teeth once he was done. Jeonghan’s always done it with him just to indulge.

 

Once they’re done, Jisoo gives him an awkward smile, lips stretched out over his gums. “Is it clean? Is it white?”

 

Jeonghan gives him a little smile. “You’re teeth are beautiful, Jisoo. Very very pretty. Like square pearls.” Jeonghan recites it like a poem, dutifully, almost. It makes the two of them laugh.

 

“Ha, ha. Anyways, let’s watch a movie. I’m in a cuddly mood today.” 

 

Jeonghan immediately wraps his arms tightly around Jisoo’s waist from the back, walking backwards back to the couch and pulling Jisoo with him. He walks like a penguin, waddling back and forth until the back of his knees hit the couch and he falls. 

 

Jisoo lands right on top of Jeonghan, and Jeonghan quickly grabs the blanket that’s at the end of the couch and wraps the two of them up. 

 

“Scary, romance, Disney, what do you want to watch?” Jeonghan keeps one arm firm on Jisoo’s waist and he does it best to fight the blush that threatens to show. 

 

“Disney. Put on Tangled.” Jeonghan nods and dutifully searches his movies until he finds it. 

 

Clicking play, he turns in on and Jisoo finds himself trying to push himself as close to Jeonghan as possible.

 

He’s so  _ close _ , but he feels like a million miles away. Jeonghan is behind him, holding him, but it’s not what Jisoo  _ wants _ . 

 

He can feel Jeonghan’s ribs press against him everytime he breathes, can feel what’s under his sweats (Jisoo internally cries- it’s like the forbidden fruit of his life.), feels every twitch his muscles make. 

 

But Jisoo doesn’t want it to be because Jeonghan like to cuddle and Jisoo just happens to be there. 

 

God, Jisoo just wants to be something for him more than his best friend. 

 

Jisoo doesn't realize he’s been daydreaming for so long until he focuses on the tv one more time and sees Rapunzel painting lanterns on her wall. 

 

He feels like Rapunzel- something he wants, he  _ needs,  _ really, to experience right  _ there _ and something’s holding him back. 

 

But for now, he can’t do much. He can’t do anything. 

  
  


The movie ends and Jisoo turns around so he’s directly face to face with Jeonghan. He can smell the fruity scent of strawberry toothpaste coming from Jeonghan. He rolls his eyes every time he’s reminded that Jeonghan still goes shopping in the kids’ section for a lot of things- toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, moisturizer. 

 

It’s endearingly adorable. 

 

“Hey, you.” Jeonghan still keeps an arm around Jisoo. Under the low light, Jisoo hopes Jeonghan can’t see his blush. 

 

“Hey you, to.”

  
  


Jeonghan presses his face up against Jisoo’s noses touching. Jisoo’s eyes blow up. What the hell was he doing? He feels the immediate urge to back away but Jeonghan’s hand grips his hip and he can’t move away, not when Jeonghan’s staring at him like that. 

 

“You’re blushing, Jisoo-ah.” Jeonghan smiles and Jisoo feels his pulse rush. 

 

“Shut up.” Jisoo averts his eyes, looking at Jeonghan’s collarbone instead. 

 

“It’s cute. If only I were your boyfriend, right? Then you could kiss me right now.”

 

Jisoo blanches. “Wh-what?”

 

Jeonghan opens his eyes a little wider and smiles. “Isn’t that what you said your dream was? To get a boyfriend quickly so you could cuddle him and then kiss him and go to sleep together. I remember everything, Jisoo-ah. No hiding from me.”

 

“What would  _ you _ do if you were my boyfriend?” Jisoo’s heart is beating so fast he’s surprised Jeonghan isn’t commenting on the sound of it. 

 

“I’d do a lot worse than kiss you, Jisoo-ah.” His voice is sing-songy. “I’d  _ wreck _ you, I think. You’re very pretty, you know.”

 

Jeonghan removes his hand from his waist and starts to sit up. Jisoo forces himself to stay still and not scramble for his hand. 

 

“I’m going to sleep. Wanna sleep on my bed together or are you going to take the couch.”

 

Jisoo lays still for a second. “I wanna sleep on your bed together. Don’t you  _ dare _ leave me alone when it’s stormy out.”

 

Jeonghan giggles. Rolling up Jisoo like a burrito in the blanket, he lifts him up easily bridal style and walks down the hall. 

 

Jisoo starts flailing, but it’s difficult when his limbs are pressed together.

 

“I’m going to drop you, stop moving!”

 

“No!” Jisoo lets out a laugh and the screams a little when Jeonghan just moves him onto his shoulder. 

 

Once they reach the bed, Jisoo pants. 

 

“See? Look how fun I would be as a boyfriend.”

 

Jisoo’s quiet for a moment before he says, “Be mine, then.”

 

“What?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Min:
> 
> Hello, and yes I'm Very Bad with technology, as evidence shows. I don't even know how to change the time zone on my computer lmao. LOL XD. 
> 
> Anyways, I think i'll get a chapter up for drowning in you or guilt by association up by tomorrow or sunday??? Yeah, I'm going to write all day tomorrow because im not busy with school right now. but yes, i hope you all enjoy this. LONG. ASS CHAPTER.
> 
> I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE 19 PAGES WHEN WRITING IN THE PERSPECTIVE OF LIKE, 7 PEOPLE AGAIN, THIS IS POOR PLANNING. 
> 
> I'll be looking for ways to shorten the chatpers, since i dont think u guys would enjoy reading so much at once i feel like you guys would think that's annoying hahah. 
> 
> Anwys, im letting sam take the floor now. If you want, don't forget to check out my other fics! It would mean the world to me!! (but obvs dont do it if you dont want to or care eheh)
> 
> (P.S. *gasp* who's the mystery friend? any guesses? eheh and spoiler: Jisoo and Jeonghan dont make it work in one shot. Where's the fun in that? I said jealousy, and i f*****g mean that.)  
> -  
> -
> 
> SAM: All caps bc im a king hello yes it is the 'editor' here (id din't even edit this just read it lmao) and I for one, want to throw up at Min' use of 'LOL XD' even if it was a joke. Like, Min, stop. Anyways, I just wanted to pop in and maybe for real I actually attempt to help her edit (at least cut down the word choice) but she so damn scared of displeasing you guys it's actually kind of cute. 
> 
> But like friend chicken, it gets tiring pretty quick. 
> 
> Anyways, if anyone actually reads up to here ur the real MVP of life. 
> 
> Like she always says, See you next time!!! Bye!!!!!


	3. What Fucking Ever.

Jisoo looks over his weekly report, occasionally fixing typos or editing numbers that don’t seem to be right. He looks over the office. He knows that Mingyu’s on Twitter right now, looking at threads of dogs in human clothes. He knows that behind the monitor, Jihoon’s dozing on and off again. He knows that Minghao is googling ‘how to make your tired nurse boyfriend feel better’, and he knows that Seokmin is busy folding his paper cranes with the pack of rainbow post-its on his desk. He knows that Seungkwan is playing tetris because he lets out occasional screams signaling that he’s lost or won. Seungkwan doesn’t really care at this point. 

 

Jisoo takes out a notepad and flips to an empty page. He lists out random things on it, scribbling in his neat handwriting how to increase their sales and a reminder to ask Wonwoo to read over a contract form. 

 

It’s all just for show, really. He knows the next contract renewal for any agency under theirs isn’t ready for another month. He doesn’t even need to see Wonwoo. 

 

It’s the fake feeling of productivity that he enjoys so much. 

 

After the weekend at Jeonghan’s house, he’s been out of it. 

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ Jeonghan looked at him with an expression that he couldn’t decipher. Jisoo let out an awkward giggle, high pitched and scratchy and annoying. He flapped his hands in the air, clawing his way out of the burrito of blankets.  _

 

_ “Kidding, kidding! Jeez, Jeonghan.” _

 

_ Jeonghan’s eyes turned into ice, the chocolate brown orbs that could melt him turning into ice instead. _

 

_ Jeonghan shrugged it off with a joking scoff but Jisoo felt like he had done something wrong, he had done something to hurt Jeonghan. Jeonghan hadn’t really show it, going around his bedroom to find pajamas for the both of them and fixing up his desk.  _

 

_ Since Jeonghan dropped it, so would he.  _

 

Jisoo finally decides he can’t take it anymore and stands up, stretching out his shoulders and cringes when he hears the loud cracking that comes from his joints. 

 

“Jisoo, where are you going?”

 

Mingyu looks up and his mouse stops momentarily, signalling that he isn’t scrolling. Jisoo strolls over to him, pulling his elbows down his back with the opposite hand. 

 

“Uh, I was going to ask Jeonghan something.”

 

“Whether you can ride his dick or not? I’m sure he’d say yes” Minghao gives him a smirk, not looking up from his screen. 

 

“Hmph. No. And Minghao, I can see that you’re on Wikihow. Your glasses are reflecting it.”

 

Mingyu snickers and leans over his cubicle to slap his arm. “Dumbass.”

 

“Dick sucker.”

 

“Whore-faced idiot.”

 

“At least I’m not crushing over a guy I can’t get.”

 

“Excuse me, I am not  _ crushing. _ I’m  _ pining _ .”

 

“You fucking dumbass, they mean the same thing.”

 

Mingyu blanks out for a second. “Well, at least I’m not a flat-assed loser with a nurse kink. Oh, doctor, doctor!  _ Help me! _ ”

 

Mingyu overdramatically flings an arm onto his face and falls into his seat. 

 

“Okay at least I’m getting some dick in my flat ass, which isn’t even that flat. And that I have someone to play my kinks out on,  you fucking celibate.”

 

“Hey! There is nothing wrong with being celibate!”

 

Seokmin indignantly throws a tiny little crane to Minghao from across the room but it just plops down sadly within inches from his desk. 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Minghao mockingly nods and snorts. 

 

“Hey, you little bitch!” Seokmin stands up and storms over to Minghao, violently grabbing his neck into a choke hold with the crook of his elbow. 

 

Minghao gurgles out a laugh. “Jokes on you, virgin, I like to be choked.”

 

Seokmin lets go and screams, standing there with his eyes closed and hands clenched into a fist. 

 

“You’re fucking dirty and nasty and wrong and impure and gross and  _ ugh _ , ew,  _ ew! _ ”

 

Chan pops his head into the room. “Uh, is this a bad time?”

 

Jisoo whirls around to look at him. “Oh, no, what is it?”

 

Chan looks like he wants to evaporate into thin air as he looks at the mess in front of him. Jisoo keeps smiling, hoping that his face will distract Chan from questioning his entire existence.

 

“Uh, Jeonghan wants to talk to you. But if it’s a bad ti-”

 

“Oh, no, no. I’ll be out with you. Just give me a sec, okay?” Chan shoots him a worried look but leaves. 

 

Jisoo turns around. “Everyone! Stop!”

 

Everyone stops. Jisoo straightens out his already impeccably placed sweater over his dress shirt. He picks at non-existing lint and clears his throat.

 

“I want the rough drafts in by the time it’s leaving time today. Got it?”

 

“Aw, hyung!” Seungkwan sets his phone down and lets out a huff of air. 

 

Jisoo sends him a look. “I’m going to ask Jeonghan to cancel the trip if you guys keep acting up!”

 

“You’re evil, hyung. Pure,  _ pure _ evil.”

 

Jisoo just smiles tiredly and everyone and sets off for Jeonghan. God, he can’t take this today. 

  
  


Jeonghan knocks timidly on Jeonghan’s office door. He hate Jeonghan’s office, the floor to ceiling windows as the black wall, the intimidatingly huge, black oak bookshelf (lined with  _ encyclopedias; who the fuck even reads those? _ ) and the two armchairs off to the side of the room; it all freaks him out. 

 

It’s got too much of a ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ vibe, especially when Jeonghan sits behind his desk and all Jisoo can see is a silhouette. Seriously, an office should be warm and inviting to guests, and should  _ not _ inspire sadistic fantasies to people like Yoon Jeonghan. (Jisoo had heard some of them in  _ detail  _ and he swore his ass hurt for days after just by listening.)

 

But when he enters, he sees that Jeonghan not there. 

 

“Ah, ahjussi. Hello.” Jisoo gives Jeonghan’s father a smile and offers a handshake. He takes it smiling brightly. His eyes crinkle deeply with age. 

 

“Jisoo! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Come over for dinner one day, my wife misses you.”

 

Jisoo gives him a timid smile. “I would hate to int-”

 

“Nonsense, Jisoo. Our families have been friends before you were born. You’ve got two decades of friendship under your belt, it’ll be nothing.”

 

“Yes, sir!” Jisoo gives him a fake salute and smiles. “But Jeonghan called me? Was I interrupting something between the two of you?”

 

Jeonghan’s father winks. He picks up a thick manilla packet off the desk. “He’ll be back in minutes. I tricked you to come here because I wanted your opinion on something. Here, help me take a look-”

 

“Abeoji! Stop!”

 

Jeonghan slams the door open so hard it  _ cracks _ the plaster on the wall and Jisoo jumps back and lands on his butt. Jeonghan’s father doesn’t look very bothered, just offers Jeonghan a smile. 

 

“Ah, Jeonghan, I was just about to show Jisoo-”

 

“No!” 

 

Jeonghan dashes over and  _ yanks _ the manilla folder out of his father’s grasp. Jisoo picks himself off the floor. Jeonghan hugs it to his chest, cradling it so nothing falls out. 

  
“Jeonghan, what is it? Maybe I can-”

 

“No, get out!” Jeonghan screams it, neck red and Jisoo feels scared. Jeonghan looks like an animal that’s being pushed off the end of a cliff. “Get out, get out!”

 

“Jeonghan, what are you doing! Are you insane? I’m just asking Jisoo for his op-”

 

“No! Jisoo,  _ get out! _ ” Jeonghan lets out a wail. He slams the packet onto his desk again and grabs a tight hold of Jisoo’s wrist. It hurts, but Jisoo’s more scared that Jeonghan is going to hurt himself. 

 

“Jeonghan-”

 

“No, get  _ out. _ ” 

 

Jeonghan shoves Jisoo out the door so hard that he nearly falls, stumbling to catch his balance in the last second before face planting. 

Jeonghan look like he wants to say something to a terrified Jisoo, mouth opening and closing. He grips the door handle and Jisoo thinks it may just snap in half. 

 

“Jeonghan, what are you do-”

 

“Get out.” When Jisoo finds himself unable to move, Jeonghan  _ pushes _ his chest and onto the floor. Jeonghan’s eyes flash with something and Jisoo thinks his heart hurts more than his arm right now.

 

Jeonghan slams the door shut and the echo bounces across Jisoo’s brain and it thrums through his skull. 

 

Jisoo clenches his jaws and adjusts his disheveled hair. His elbow throbs painfully from when he landed on it. Whatever. If Jeonghan’s going to be so secretive about whatever the  _ hell _ went on in there, no use in prying. 

 

But he hears a punch against the door and Jisoo’s fist aches. 

 

He’ll come back later to take care of it- Jeonghan never does during his episodes.

 

-

-

 

_ Group Chat (toasted wheat flakes) _

 

_ HoeHoe: Our trip is soon, right? _

 

_ Gyurl: I want a sugar daddy _

 

_ Boobie: bruh its in a month like in janry wtf ist that what joenham said _

 

**_HoeHoe changed Boss-nim to joenham_ **

 

_ Joenham: y _

 

_ Gyrul: i wanna sugar daddy to fuck me wit his hundos and his big ass dick _

 

_ Solemio: i hope we go to the mountinside resot again its better than de beach tbh _

 

_ Gyrul: i wanna get someone to fuck me wit a tentalce dildo and then make me LIK it wit my tongue _

 

_ Joenham: idk whatever u hoes just exist to TAKE my money and ROB me of life _

 

_ Smile: oh rlly! Then i vote for mountain _

 

_ Emobitch123: i want to bask in the eternal darkness that is my room and let the waste that is my life transform me into a man of everlasting death and suffering _

 

_ Gyrul: i want to be ass fucked wit no lube and then spanked until im cryin _

 

_ Boobie: omg wonwoo hyung thats… not that skcoking tbh _

 

_ Gyurl: i wanna swallow some guccie level cum _

 

_ Treadmill: can i change my name i feel attacked _

 

_ Boobie: idk who u think u r but sit the fuck down sir u cannot _

 

_ Gyurl: I wanna find someone to treat right like a king, nothing but forever with me and my babe, commitment and trust and nothin but RESPEKT for him id treat him to my love and we’ll take our steps together slowly all while being COMITTED and in love and have bomb sex _

 

_ Emobitch123: dam i neeed me a freak lik dat _

 

_ Gyurl: bruh no one reads anything else but that u see and also  i’d pick u 2 baby mwah _

 

_ Emobitch123: just realized who that’s from i canghe mu mind _

 

_ Gyrul: u can’t tho _

 

_ Emobitch123: ???? i just did??? _

 

_ Boobie: get fucked Gyu also wres chan it asyas he’s on _

 

**_Babyboy has left the groupchat_ **

 

_ Gyurl: ah there he goes _

 

-

-

  
  


Seungkwan is bored. 

 

Very, tremendously, extremely bored. 

 

So bored that he’s resorted to helping out Chan with copies. 

 

“Hyung, how come you never do any work. Don’t you have due dates?”

 

Seungkwan grins at Chan. “I get all the work done in one full day, with an all nighter. Then, I’m free for the rest of the week! Twenty four hours without sleep is a mere sacrifice for being free the rest of the week.”

 

“Okay. Sure. It isn’t if you’re bothering me, but sure.” Chan presses a button and papers stop shooting out of the machine. Seungkwan feels two hands slap against his butt as he leans forward to look at his reflection on the glass panel. 

 

“Ow!” Seungkwan stumbles forward and Chan squeaks and and shoves Seungkwan away from the copy machine and onto Hansol. 

 

“Hey, Kwan!” Chan glares at Seungkwan and then points to the copy machine. There’s a mark on the panel where his cheek smushed against it. Seungkwan shoves Hansol away and grins sheepishly at Chan but before he can say anything, Chan walks out the door, head held high. 

 

“Hansol, now Channie’s gonna be mad at me!”

 

Hansol shrugs. “Whatever. Your butt looked very slap-worthy just then.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Are you coming over tonight?”

 

“Oh. Uh, can’t, sorry.”

 

Seungkwan frowns like a baby, pushing his lips out as far as they’ll go. He makes a whiny noise, pushing himself in front of Hansol. 

 

“Why, why, why!”

 

Hansol seems to flush, out of being uncomfortable, not shy. Seungkwan draws back, feeling sorry for intruding on Hansol’s space. He does his best to prevent his smile from slipping off his face. 

 

“I’m, uh, busy tonight. Yeah, Seungcheol wants us to finish editing a commercial and I’ve got to research the blue color spectrum or something. Fun stuff.” Hansol awkwardly takes a step forward, but then stops. 

 

“Okay, it’s fine, Hansol. Do your work first, our fun comes later, okay? Don’t stress too much.” Hansol’s excuse sounds made up - but Seungkwan doesn’t push.

 

Seungkwan flashes Hansol one more smile and then walks out the copy room. He hears Hansol murmur something under his breath but chooses to leave it. 

 

It sounded pretty sad, anyways. 

 

-

-

 

“Chan!” Mingyu moans, burying his hair into his arms, crying into the table. Chan just pats Mingyu on the back robotically, reading his papers. “Damnit, Chan, console me! I’m more important than that stupid report!” Mingyu huffs, crossing his arms. Chan sends him a cute smile, but his eyes scream  _ murder _ . 

 

“Of course. Hyung, what seems to be the issue?” Chan grips the paper so hard that it rips through his fingers. Mingyu smiles, pleased that he’s got Chan’s full attention. 

 

“Right. Chan!” Mingyu wails again. “I need a boyfriend. I need someone to fuck me, Chan! My ass literally feels like a virgin! I need a boyfriend!”

 

Chan looks like he’s on the verge of throwing up when Wonwoo walks in. Mingyu gulps and Chan shrikes in delight. 

 

“Oh, hyung! Mingyu, here’s Wonwoo!”

 

“Aha, hello, sir.” Mingyu props himself up on his elbow, leaning dramatically over the table with his legs swinging in the air. “Wonwoo, you’d fuck me, right?”

 

Wonwoo doesn’t even look up from the fridge, rooting around for something. “Nope.”

 

“Aw man, I’ve been asking for like, two years. Can’t I get one yes?”

 

“Lemme think.” Wonwoo looks over the fridge and gives Mingyu a stare, furrowing his brows as if he’s concentrating. “Nope.” He slams the door shut and leans against the counter. 

 

“Wow, Wonwoo hyung, really? But you two would look great together.” Chan tosses his report in the trash and Mingyu stifles a laugh.

 

“I know, right? C’mon, Wonwoo, just one night and you’ll be mine.” Mingyu tries winking but does it with both eyes and bites his lip  _ right on top of where it ripped from earlier _ . He holds back the tears. In his attempt to not let out an incredibly un-sexy yowl, he rolls to his side,  _ right off the table _ . His forearm catches on the side and tears a little, a tiny little thin line of blood appearing. 

 

He decides it’s okay to let out the scream now.

 

Wonwoo watches him with dead eyes.

 

“God, that was the most awkward thing I have ever, literally  _ ever _ , had to watch. I’m out.”

 

“Aw, diddly darn, I thought I’d get you this time.” Mingyu looks down at his cut.

 

Wonwoo gives him a pointed look and starts heading out, but leans over Mingyu and taps his head. Mingyu immediately looks up, surprised. Wonwoo reaches for his arm and looks at Mingyu’s scratch.

 

“Nevermind, it’s not as bad as I thought. Though I’ve got ointment in my office, if you want.”

 

Chan makes some unintelligible screech and dashes out of the room. It’s quiet for a while before Mingyu can hear Seokmin screaming something along with Hansol. God, his fucking  _ ears _ .

 

Wonwoo takes a sip of water. “Are you coming? Get up, the floor’s not clean.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

Mingyu throws up hearts and he floats out the room. 

 

-

-

 

“God, you fucking bitch.” It’s the first thing Jeonghan says when he enters.

 

Jeonghan promptly pushes half of Seungcheol’s clutter off his desk and onto the floor. Seungcheol can only watch in lost despair as his paperclip cup, post-it notes, pens, and empty water bottles go flying in the general direction to the left. 

 

“Oh, my God, Jeonghan, go choke.”

 

“Ask me what’s wrong, dammit!” Jeonghan starts sighing, letting it extend for an obnoxious amount of time. Seungcheol sucks up his ego and finally breaks down, groaning and glaring at Jeonghan. 

 

“What’s wrong, Jeonghan.”

 

“You hoebag, I’ve been sighing all morning and you haven’t bothered asking me. This isn’t true friendship. I’ve come here to say goodbye.”

 

“God, you over dramatic toad, shut the fuck up and tell me what’s wrong. I’m busy editing the video that  _ you _ begged me to.”

 

“I’m taking  your office away from you. Be like Jisoo and deal with the general public.”

 

“First off, you gave it to me. Jisoo actually  _ wanted _ to mingle with everyone. And Wonwoo does even less than me and you still give him an office.”

 

“He may do less but he’s more important to this company than you are. No one can get contracts like he can.”

 

“It pays to be hot, I guess.”

 

“Which is exactly why I didn’t give you that job. You know,  _ I _ could’ve taken it. It’s just that I didn’t want people fighting over my face.”

 

“Oh, my God. Do you ever hear yourself, you narcissistic dick?”

 

Jeonghan flaps a hand in the air. Seungcheol feels his sanity leaving with every wave. 

 

“Whatever, that’s not the issue. Let’s get back on track here. The issue is, I wanna like, kidnap Jisoo more and more everyday.”

 

Seungcheol rubs his chin with his index and thumb, looking up with a mock thoughtful face. “You know, it may be against my better judgement to say this, but that just  _ isn’t _ the kind of thing you say in public. What you  _ mean _ is, you’ve been in love with your neighbor for like twenty years and he refuses to even acknowledge your existence.”

 

Jeonghan takes on an uncharacteristically serious expression, burrowing his brows. 

 

“This sounds fucking dumb, but I’ve got maybe a year or two left with Jisoo. Something’s come up, Cheol. I- I don’t know how much longer I can keep pushing myself like this.”

 

Seungcheol feels a pang of sympathy. Serious Jeonghan is a rarity and every time he pops up, it’s because of Jisoo. It’s a vicious, repeating cycle. Today matches that trend.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know, Jeonghan. It hurts me too, watching you two so in love with each other and not being able to do anything. Just, why won’t you believe it when we tell you that he likes you, too?”

 

Jeonghan frowns. “I don’t know. Why don’t you ever believe it when we say to make a move on Jihoon already, it’s getting tiring?” Seungcheol has no answer and his friend continues. “Or why does Mingyu keep on asking Wonwoo out even though he knows he’s going to be rejected? And even if it hurts him real fucking bad, he still laughs it off like it’s a joke? And what about Hansol, you see how much he’s fucked over with Seungkwan, but he’s not doing anything. Why, Seungcheol?”

 

Seungcheol opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. 

 

“Seungcheol, it’s because we’re living out our fantasies in our heads rather than real life. You can’t fuck up when you control everything. Even with Mingyu, I’m sure he keeps  _ hoping _ for a change, at least. God, I’m pushing Jisoo too far.” Jeonghan pauses. “I hurt him today, Cheol. I pushed him out of my office and onto the floor. When I saw him like that, Cheol, I wanted to die, okay? He, he wasn’t even doing-”

 

“Breathe, Jeonghan. Just, you’ll be fine.”

 

Seungcheol walks behind his desk to hug Jeonghan. 

 

“How do you know that? It hurts, Cheollie, it hurts a fucking lot. I’m not  _ fine,  _ I’m anything but  _ fine _ .” Jeonghan remains limp in his arms, like an upright piece of spaghetti. 

 

“I don’t know, it’s something Mingyu said to me. He said to pretend it doesn’t hurt and keep trying and see where you end up snapping.”

 

“That sounds very unhealthy.”

 

Seungcheol laughs, rubbing Jeonghan’s shoulders. “That’s exactly what I said, but Mingyu just said he hadn’t reached his limit yet.” It’s silent for a little while before Jeonghan sniffles. 

 

“How fucked up are we?”

 

Seungcheol can’t find it in him to laugh. “Enough to make everyone sad, I guess.”

 

Would Jihoon ever just  _ look  _ at him?

  
  


-

-

 

_ Life Sucker: hey can i bring jun to our trip _

 

_ Whipped: the trips in a mont i dont fuckin care _

 

_ Whipped: is he rooming wit u if he is he can  _

 

_ Life Sucker: am i gay?? _

 

_ Whipped: mk _

 

_ Life Sucker: also r we goin to the mountais for skiing and boardin _

 

_ Whipped: shut the fuck up please idc also is this to show off in front of ur bf bc last time i chked u cnt do ether _

 

_ Life Sucker: are u whipped for Jisoo? _

 

_ Whipped: 1. i’m offended that that’s the reason y my name is whipped _

 

_ Whipped: 2. also ofc _

 

_ Life Sucker: did iask _

 

_ Whipped: … im telling jun ur being mean _

 

_ Life Sucker: hes reading this rn and he laughed also his dick’s bout to enter my ASSHOLE so plz stop texting _

 

_ Whipped: god i wish i were jun and u were jisoo thatd be great _

 

_ Life Sucker: i was jk u realize im at work rn its like 1 pm and that jisoo is reading this _

 

_ Whipped: im logging out of LIFE i dont deserve this BULLSHIT goodBYE _

 

_ Life Sucker: get FUCKED lol u btich XD _

 

_ Whipped: ….isnt….that….what….you do? _

 

_ Life Sucker: im logging out of LIFE i dont deserve this BULLSHIT goodBYE _

 

-

-

  
  


Jihoon decides that he’s done enough for one afternoon and announces that he’s going to take a walk around the floor. Jisoo asks him to send him a copy of his work and then lets him free. 

 

Minghao complains about how Jihoon gets to do stuff like this when it isn’t even break and Jisoo asks Minghao to show him what he has done so then Minghao shuts up and Seungkwan yells ‘get fucked’ at him and Jihoon leaves before the situation escalates. 

 

He’s walking around the floor near the individual offices when he bumps into Chan. 

 

“Oh, hey Chan. How’s interning going?”

 

“Oh, hey hyung. It’s fine. It’s way more than just getting coffee for everyone, which surprised me.”

 

“Hmph. I remember when I was an intern.”

 

Chan gives him a surprised look. “Oh, did you intern and then graduate? Is that how you secured a job here?”

 

Jihoon laughs. “No. Every year, all the interns are filed into like, a competition, or something, I don’t really know. Two interns get picked based on performance and are offered permanent positions either right away or after they graduate.”

 

Chan blinks. “Woah, am I being in it right now?” Jihoon shakes his head. 

 

“Nah, it starts in the spring and they announce it. Only interns that want it join, so you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

Chan stays quiet for a couple seconds. “Thanks, hyung!” He dashes off through the corridor and Jihoon laughs. Putting his hands in the pockets of his slacks, he wanders some more before literally running into Seungcheol. 

 

Seungcheol jumps back and stumbles as if the slight physical contact of their shoulders was like poison. 

 

“Jeez, I’ve literally bounced on your thigh and felt you up but you touching my shoulder is bad?”

 

Jihoon’s voice comes out like a sneer, meaner than he actually intends. He hopes Seungcheol notices that he isn’t trying to be snarky. 

 

“Ah, ha. Right. Uh, yeah. Okay. Uh.”

 

Seungcheol gets ready to run off again but then Jihoon grabs his shirt sleeve and yanks him back. 

 

“Clearly, you have something you want to say to me. And I don’t like it when you’re awkward, Seungcheol. Spill.”

 

“I, uh. The thing is, I have to-”

 

Seungcheol retches. Jihoon wants to take a step back but something tells him to help Seungcheol. Seungcheol looks  _ sick _ , skin pale and eyes droopy even more than normal. 

 

“Okay, okay, let’s get you to a bathroom. I’ll help-”

 

“No!” Seungcheol retches again, but harder, and shoves Jihoon out of the way. Jihoon painfully hits the back of the wall and watches as Seungcheol dashes off to the bathroom, holding his mouth. 

 

Jihoon’s head hurts. 

 

He wants to help Seungcheol. If they’ve had a sleepover together, how is taking care of the other when they’re going to throw up a bad thing?

 

Jihoon wants to help Seungcheol. But whatever. It’s not like they owe each other anything, anyways.

 

-

-

 

_ Dog: do u tink id be fuckable to any1 in tihs building like wod som1 wana fuc me _

 

_ Whoop: no _

 

_ Dog: :((  _

_ Whoop: that’s not the type of thing you ask me, what’s going on? _

 

_ Dog: al that gramer just made me vom _

 

_ Dog: and wouldnt u lik 2 know _

 

_ Whoop: i’d say it’s why i asked in the first place, but i’ve lost interest. goodbye. _

 

_ Dog: okay ok if ur gonna pry might as wel say 2 u _

 

_ Whoop: i really don’t want to hear it tho.  _

 

_ Dog: okau here gows _

 

_ Whoop: oh fuck it all _

 

_ Dog: i wanna ask out jooheon but like i need to be fuckable u know bc apparently he has a big dick _

 

_ Whoop: okay like you’re not doing the fucking so why does that matter? _

 

_ Dog: dear god u r right my friend okay bye  _

 

_ Whoop: but jooheon? I didn’t think he’d be you’re type tbh _

 

_ Dog: lol he isn’t but like u said no 2 me for 2 yers straight so 0_0 i gotta move on ya know so like yeah sorry for botring u 4 two years but hey at least ill stop now u knw _

 

_ Whoop: yea okay bye _

 

Wonwoo stares at his phone, puzzled at himself. 

 

He should be glad that Mingyu’s finally stopped doing whatever the hell he was doing, right? The tingly feeling in his stomach - it’s because he’s happy,  _ right _ ?

 

Whatever. Wonwoo lets out a snort.  _ Why the hell would he ask me that? God, it’s not like we’re close. _

 

But no matter how much Wonwoo denies it, he knows they are to some extent. After working in the same company and division, side by side for three and a half years, it’s hard not to know what kind of person Kim Mingyu is, especially since he also writes every emotion on his face. 

 

Wonwoo decides he needs a break. 

 

Heading out his office and to the elevator, he checks his pockets to make sure that he’s got his wallet on him. A coffee from the cafeteria would do him some good. 

 

Finding a seat first, he glances around and sees that it’s empty. Responding to some messages, he hears a scrape of a chair across him. 

 

“Ah, Jennie. Hello.” Jennie scrunches up her nose.

 

“What’s a stick in the mud like you doing here during non-break time?”

 

Wonwoo shrugs. He lets out a sigh and Jennie copies him, and then Wonwoo is hit with a stroke of genius. 

 

“Jennie, would you ever use someone to make a person jealous? Someone that you like jealous?”

 

Jennie gives him a shit-eating grin. “Why, do you want me to pretend to be something for you in front of Mingyu?” Her expression changes into a hopeful one. “Or do you want to help me make Jisoo jealous so she’ll be rough with me?”

 

Wonwoo thinks about what he’s doing. Why the fuck does he care? But some part of him does and he looks at Jennie one more time. She pretty, pretty enough to get someone like Mingyu jealous. 

 

“Oh, my God, please. I don’t need to hear about your kink for jealous sex, that’s nas-”

 

“Oooh, are we going to make someone jealous?” A new voice comes from behind Jennie. Jisoo takes a seat next to her and Jennie smiles at Jisoo, eyes fluttering and gums showing. Jisoo gives her an endearing pat on the head and pushes a plate with a pastry on it towards her. Jennie  _ melts, _ sighing and leaning into the brief touch.

 

“Oh, my God, I’m sorry Jennie! I forgot that you’re dating Jisoo! Jisoo, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear!” Wonwoo suddenly feels like his life is on the line as he watches Jisoo run a delicate finger over her little butter knife. Did the cafeteria even  _ have _ butter knives?

 

She grins at him, eyes drawn heavy. “I don’t care about  _ men _ like  _ you, _ Wonwoo. I ate Jennie out for like, thirty minutes the other day, you think I’d care about some dick-wielding, testosterone filled  _ ape _ like your kind? Nuh-uh.” Jennie blushes but Wonwoo can see she isn’t embarrassed, biting her lips in a smile. Jisoo stabs own pastry, an innocent looking cheese danish or something, and leans back in her seat. “It’s  _ Lisa _ that’s got to watch out, tell her to fuck Chae or something.”

 

Wonwoo clears his throat. “I’m disgusted but like, yeah, uh, no, I’m just grossed out. Nie talking to you ladies, I will taking my leave and praying for Lisa’s safety.”

 

Jisoo flickers her fingers in his general direction and Wonwoo takes his leave, coffee completely forgotten about. 

 

Wonwoo walks to the elevators again but bumps into Jooheon. 

 

The name leaves a sour taste in his mouth. 

 

He sees Jooheon running for the elevators out of the corner of his eye but he look up at the ceiling, pretending to not see. 

 

“Wait, wait, keep the door op-” the door is  _ just _ about to ding shut when Jooheon’s foot sticks in between. The doors open with a couple of noises. 

 

“Oh, sorry, Jooheon, didn’t see you there.”

 

“Oh, it’s no, oh, hi,  _ Wonwoo _ . Also, no issue, the lobby is big. No biggie if you didn’t hear.”

 

“Yeah.” Wonwoo feels nauseous. He’s about to ask Jooheon why he isn’t coming in when the other starts talking. 

 

“But it’s not  _ that _ big, Wonwoo. Don’t take your frustration out on  _ me. _ ”

 

Jooheon moves his foot and the door slides shut. 

 

He’s right. Jooheon is absolutely right.

 

Wonwoo will just take his frustrations out on work, like every other fucking time, ever. 

 

Nothing’s changed. 

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan feels like he’s going to cry again when he looks at the manilla folder. God, it’s disgusting and Jeonghan wants to burn it. The moon filtering through the shades makes it look illuminated, as if it couldn’t ruin his life with a single sheet of paper. There’s a knock at the door, and he clears his throat a little to make it sound used and says, “Come in!” in the brightest voice he can muster. 

 

Jisoo steps in quietly, with a little box clutched in his hands. 

 

“Jisoo, I-” Jeonghan starts to stand when Jisoo glares at him. 

 

“Shut up, you big fat idiot and get your butt on this arm chair right now.” Jeonghan gulps and walks over to his arm chair. Taking a seat, he watches nervously as Jisoo pulls the little table that’s in between the two chairs and perches on it. 

 

Oh, lord, this is it, this is when Jisoo revokes his friendship with Jeonghan. 

 

“Jisoo, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, but please don’t leave me, not yet-”

 

“Shut up and give me your hand.” Jisoo holds his own out, expectantly. “Your right hand.”

 

Jeonghan silently sticks out his hand, palm up, to Jisoo. Jisoo sighs as he flips it over and looks at the bloodied knuckles. 

 

“How did you-”

 

“How much did ajusshi yell at you for punching a wall?”

 

Jeonghan drops his head to his chest. “A lot. And then I got pissed at him yelling so I did it again. And then two more times after. It’s kind of numb right now, actually.” Jisoo glares at him as if to say,  _ not the point _ .

 

Jisoo bites his lip and takes something out of the box. “You can’t just leave it like this, Hannie. You’ve got to clean it. Get ready, it’s going to sting.”

 

Taking the red liquid solution, Jisoo rubs the disinfectant all over his knuckles, washing the dried blood out of the way. He then quickly rubs an ointment over the fresh cuts, and blows on it when Jeonghan winces or makes a noise. 

 

Wrapping it up in a bandage, Jisoo doesn’t let go of his hand. 

 

“Jeonghan, I don’t know what when on today and I feel really crappy that I couldn’t help you. So I’m here now, okay? Don’t feel like you’ve got to deal with things without me, okay?”

 

Jeonghan wants to curse Jisoo out, to shove him against the wall and kiss and  _ touch _ him right now, but instead, he pulls Jisoo forward and onto his lap. 

 

Jeonghan rests his head on Jisoo’s shoulder and smiles to himself because if he  _ really  _ tries, he can hear Jisoo’s heartbeat. It’s faster than normal, like he’s waiting for something. Jeonghan pretends that it’s waiting for him.

 

“I don’t have much time with you.”

 

Jisoo pulls back. Jeonghan casts his eyes away. 

 

“What?” It’s a quiet whisper. Jeonghan debates for minutes whether he should continue.

 

“Take a look in that folder, Jisoo. Please.” Jisoo doesn’t respond, doesn’t say yes.

Doesn’t say no, he doesn’t want to, either. 

 

It takes Jisoo at least a full minute to get out of Jeonghan’s lap and walk over to his desk. Jeonghan wishes they were like before, hugging and close to each other. With Jisoo on his lap. 

 

At his side. 

 

His body feels cold.

 

“Jeonghan, are these- are these what I thi-” Jisoo’s voice breaks and Jeonghan closes his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Jisoo’s face. 

 

“Are these really-” Jisoo stumbles over his words again, tongue knotting up and Jeonghan feels the same happening to his heart. It’s like someone's gripping it, preventing it from moving towards what it wants. 

 

Jeonghan nods slowly. Jisoo gasps.

 

Jisoo runs over to Jeonghan and hugs him, hard. Jeonghan can only let his own tears fall as he presses his body as close to Jisoo as he can, digging his hands into the small of Jisoo’s back, pushing his nose into the crown of Jisoo’s soft brown hair, his hips into Jisoo’s waist. 

 

He feels Jisoo crying. 

 

For a split second, Jeonghan pretends that Jisoo is crying because he loves him more than a friend, more than neighbors, more than that little boy he grew up with. 

 

But then he snaps out of it. He was right. 

 

Everything’s a whole lot easier when you’re just imagining it. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh la la more mysteries, oui? wow i like this chapter a lot, et toi? 
> 
> I think, I THINK i might be able to fit at least one update a week. so yeah, my first fic with a weekly update plan. i'll post every friday because no school after friday woohoo
> 
> anyways oooh the bathroom mystery man was mingyu oooooohhhhhh anyways im excited for the next posts, either the next one or the one after will be about the trip. 
> 
> hope you lovely ladies and lads have a great day! thanks for all the kudos and comments already, lets get more!!! im being so greedy but whoopsies and i love y'all, stay safe and healthy!
> 
> p.s. does anyone here also like nct bc they've got me FUckeD uP AnD FeelING ThiNGs rN
> 
> p.p.s im going to quebec in the summer for like a week, now i get a reason to use those 10 years of french from foreign language at school also just saying what is it with koreans and french words i went shopping for t shirts and i saw a hundred of them with like random phrases on them like "my name is the night pastry" and "you do not want to call the bakery" like oh my god, oh, my, god.
> 
> p.p.p.s IM DONE NOW LOL BYE SEE YOU GUYS NEXT UPDATE MWAH STAY HAPPY IM HERE FOR U BUT NOT PHYSICALLY BUT IM CHEERING U ON OKAY!!!!!


	4. Man Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF ill edit all my mistakes tomorrow lol okay enjoy this steaming pile of confusion and also Sam's joining in the notes today!

Jeonghan watches his dad as he walks down the hall to the elevator. Jeonghan suddenly has the urge to throw a binder at him or something, but he doesn’t feel like going to court for murder so he seethes and stomps back into his office. Out of nothing but an urge to be dramatic in front of absolutely no one, he flings Planty the Flower Plant against the wall. 

 

The dirt sprays onto the floor and the pot shatters, white shards of ceramic glass shooting out everywhere. Jeonghan sighs. He’ll clean it up later. 

 

There’s a knock on the door and before Jeonghan can scream at the person for intruding on his emo time, Jisoo opens the door and enters. Jeonghan iimedtaily shoots up to his feet and dashes over, emitting a high pitched squeal. 

 

Jisoo laughs as he pretends to cower. Jeonghan throws himself onto Jisoo, pulling him into a hug and using his hands to grab at his butt. 

 

“Jeonghan?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Let go of my ass, please.”

 

Jeonghan whines and says no, squeezing them even harder as Jisoo shrieks in embarrassment. Jisoo makes no real move to get out of his grasp so Jeonghan teases him by pushing their bodies closer and even goes as far as to smack it. 

 

“I like your butt, it’s like my own personal stress ball.”

 

“Oh, what, so I’ve been reduced to a toy now?” Jisoo melodramatically flings himself onto one of the armchairs in the room. When he rocks back, the leg crunches against some glass and Jisoo looks behind him. “Yeah, you’ve pretty much always been one to me.” Jisoo sticks his tongue out but he stands up to take a look at the damage.

 

“Jeonghan, you can’t just throw things around when you get angry, are you a child or something?” Jisoo sighs. “Where do you keep your dustpan, clean it up before you hurt yourself.”

 

Jeonghan grumbles and crosses his arm. “You’d get my urge to break things if you were in my position, Soo. Abeoji is rushing me on picking.”

 

Jisoo stays quiet for a while before scuttling to the supply closet in the back to find a broom and dustpan. He retrieves it and starts sweeping. 

 

“Yeah, I probably would. But are you really going to go through with it? You’re acting like it isn’t-”

 

“I’m acting like it’s not a big deal because it’s not, Jisoo. He can’t, you know,  _ force _ me to do this or whatever. I’ll have nothing to live for. God, I’d just rather kill myself or something. I can’t live like a caged animal as it is, but that’ll be like living with shackles gluing my thighs and shoulders down.”

 

Jihoon flies into the room, eyes rimmed red with unspilled tears threatening to spill over. 

 

“I’m quitting this shithole! Give me my paycheck, I’m moving to Belgium!” Jihoon falls onto his knees and hugs Jeonghan’s thighs. Jisoo sighs. God, this spiel again. 

 

Jeonghan pats Jihoon’s head. “What now, sweetcheeks?”

 

Jihoon really must be distressed because he doesn’t go lunging for Jeonghan’s throat. “Minghao accidentally send me a video of  _ Jun  _ sucking his  _ dick _ . God, Jeonghan, Jeonghan, please,  _ please, _ let me leave! I’ll pay to terminate the contract, but dear lord I can’t stay here!” Jihoon lets out another dramatic scream and then starts to roll around on the floor. Jisoo frowns when thin lines of dust start to appear on his dress shirt- it’s not neat. 

 

Jeonghan snorts. “How the fuck-”

 

“It’s  _ Minghao,  _ why is that a question! I needed a simple recording of how the stocks from the Baek-Soo group dropped, and I got a fucking  _ sex tape _ ! I didn’t sign up for this shit!”

 

“Okay, but was the video hot?”

 

Jisoo lets out a pained wail from the back of his throat. “Jeonghan! You can’t just say stuff like that, it’s weird! And gross, and, just,  _ ew _ !” Jisoo wrings his hands and makes a face at the image drawn in his head. He’s never going to get it out. 

 

Jeonghan shrugs indifferently, easily bending down and scooping up Jihoon. “I don’t know, Jisoo, seems pretty damn hot to me. Wanna test it out?” Jeonghan waggles his brows in an exaggerated way to Jisoo as he sets Jihoon upright. 

 

Jisoo’s throat goes dry as a new picture enters his mind. Jeonghan setting up a camera and then going over to Jisoo on a bed to-

 

Jisoo shakes his head and clears his throat. “Stop! Go help Jihoon!”

 

Jeonghan laughs. “You just pictured it! You did!” Jisoo wishes the windows were open so he could take a running leap out. Jihoon lets out a weird sounding snort/sigh combination and Jisoo stomps his foot. 

 

“Did not!” But a blush starts to creep up his cheek like tomato vines on a garden wall. 

 

“You totally did, you big  _ blusher _ .”

 

Nevermind, Jisoo’s going to throw  _ Jihoon _ out the window.

-

-

Seokmin holds onto his little basket covered with a thin piece of tissue paper, puts on a bright smile, and enters the noodle shop. The familiar smell of broth and the heat coming from the vents makes him flush, the cold winter air leaving his system. 

 

It’s strangely empty for lunch, and then he realizes he came thirty minutes before the usual rush hour. Oh well, more time with Soonyoung. 

 

Soonyoung comes out of the back of the room, and gives Seokmin a funny look. 

 

“Thought I banned you for two weeks, it's only been one.” Soonyoung raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms in a mock glare. Seokmin laughs. 

 

“Babe, you were counting?”

 

Soonyoung flushes but doesn’t answer, and looks at the basket in Seokmin’s hand. 

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Your cranes.”

 

Soonyoung’s eyes open a quarter more wider than they normally were, which makes Seokmin want to bury Soonyoung into his chest and like, cry or something. 

 

“You made one thousand?”

 

Seokmin frowns. “No, just ninety-nine. It’s so fucking time consuming to make theses, I don’t know what I got myself into.”

 

“Well, you still get a wish at the end, so do what you need to do. Though I still don’t get why your giving them to me.”

 

Seokmin colors, suddenly feeling shy. “You, uh, you know what the thousand cranes mean?” He looks at his hands, nervous that Soonyoung will see his blush. 

 

“Well, yeah. I got curious and mentioned to my friend and he told me what they meant.”

 

“Hmm, I suddenly feel a lot better. Here you go.”

 

Seokmin holds out the basket, and looks at the mini woven thing. It’s the size of two of his fists and the tissue paper falls of at his sudden movement. Soonyoung accepets it with a dramatic arm fling, but careful to not let any drop. 

 

The small action is enough to make Seokmin smile even more. 

 

The flutters in his stomach are weird, nothing he’s ever felt before.

 

In the past, he’d been the only guy in his grade, in his group of friends, to never date, to never get crushes, even meaningless ones, never sleep around, it was like he was a nun. In fact, for a year, Seokmin had thought he was asexual, aromantic, somewhere in that range. But after researching and looking things up and going so far as to as Jooheon, an asexual at his company, he knew that he wasn’t. 

 

He just decided that he had to be a little more patient than others to find love. For example, Jeonghan and Jisoo (he hated them the most; they were in love for decades and yet too stupid to see past their own insecurities), Jun and Minghao (who’ve been together for six years now), even Mingyu’s one-sided crush. He’d never had any of that.

 

But then he had seen Seokmin and it was like every damn wall in his head, his heart, his  _ life _ , had been karate chopped down and then stormed with a million troops. And he had done it with a simple gesture, just giving Seokmin a napkin.

 

Soonyoung returns from the office where he set the cranes down and offers Seokmin some lunch. 

 

“No, sorry. This was a quick run, I’ve got to finish something.”

 

“Oh, okay. Well, then next time?”

 

Seokmin smiles. “You want there to be a next time?”

 

Soonyoung colors. The pink blush suits him. “You need to finish giving me your cranes, dummy.”

 

Seokmin sighs. Dramatically placing his hands on his hips, he makes a decree with a loud voice. “Then I shall return, my lovely prince. Your knight in shining armor will come back!”

 

Seokmin can’t wait to finish making those damn cranes. 

 

-

-

 

Hansol wakes up feeling disgusting. When he checks his phone, he sees that it’s already lunchtime and that he  _ isn’t at work _ . He’s in Seungkwan’s bed. He feels the soft blue blanket around his half naked body, remembering that last night. He didn’t fuck Seungkwan on these sheets. Seungkwan must’ve changed them.

 

He hates it, hates the sex. Not Seungkwan, never Seungkwan. But fucking him, without  _ being _ with him, makes Hansol wants to beat himself up every time he does it. 

 

Every time he comes back, he feels a drug addict that can’t quit. Seungkwan is worse than cocaine, worse than heroin, digging and carving himself into Hansol’s body and mind and yet still not  _ belonging _ to him.

 

God, he seriously hates himself. He considers eating the succulent on Seungkwan’s desk to succumb to a quick death but then realizes that he’d probably do more damage to the sad, wilted thing (how do you kill a plant that doesn’t even need water?) than to himself. 

 

He’s left a note, very old-school style, very  _ Seungkwan _ . Hansol can't help but and laugh at how cute it is. 

 

_ Hey, Sol. I’m at work, you wouldn't wake up no matter how loud I blasted Drake. So when you wake up eat something from the fridge and come to work, I’ve already texted Jisoo that you’re a little sick.  _

 

_ P.S. Jeonghan said that if you come in while sick he’s going to skin you so yeah _

 

Hansol rubs the sleep out of his eyes and makes his way to the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror, the dead eyes staring back at him makes him shiver. 

 

He looks like a mess, hair mussed in a gross, tangled way, heavy bags under droopy eyes, and dull skin that seems to be gray. His lips are dry and it looks like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

 

He can’t keep doing this with Seungkwan.

 

He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. 

 

Hansol brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and washes his face with Seungkwan’s cucumber cleanser. He puts on one of Seungkwan’s shirts and the same pants from yesterday (thank God for non-descript black slacks) and puts on his shoes. 

 

_ Okay, Hansol. You do not come here ever again, ever. Do not do it, even if Seungkwan begs you and says he misses you. Just say you’ve got work and get out, okay? Okay, I’ve got this, Hansol, you’ve got this. _

 

Hansol grabs his bag near the door and walks out of the apartment, locking the door with a neat click of his keys. 

 

He knows it’s a fucking lie and he  _ can’t _ stay away, no matter how much he begs his own dumb fucking self to listen. He gives himself a scoff and a mental slap to the face.

 

He’ll be back by tomorrow. 

 

-

-

 

_ Hype Only: _

 

_ Haoyadoin: _

 

_ I dyed mu hair today _

 

_ Bossmanhan: BTCH if thats the reson ur lte 4 work today img oing to seell you to the black martket and I’ll be the 1 2 by ur fucking KINDEYS so i can SHOVE THEM BACK IN _

 

_ MinSeok: i like it omg omgomgomgomgomg i like it yes bitch fuck it up fuck it up fuck it up _

 

_ MinSeok: n also read the damn gc name jeongah dont be rude u fuckin phsyco _

 

_ Bossmanhan: fine _

 

_ Bossmanhan: u look more fuckable now tbh like id dick u down anyday _

 

_ Haoyadoin: ok but lik y do u have to say stuff like that like i rly dont get it  _

 

_ Bossmanhan: u wanted hype idk what else u need to rob from moi besides my damn MONEY AND SOUL!!! _

 

_ Babygyurl: fuck yes thas my fuckin besfren thats mt besgtrien get it bith get jun 2 fuck u 2nite u fcking hot ass bitch u hot pece of ASS _

_ Haoyadoin: ;) _

 

_ Babygyurl: im literally jealous that hao is getting more dick than me what is my life  _

 

_ Wonwoo: what about jooheon he looked excited  _

 

_ Babygyurl: im sorry what? _

 

_ Wonwoo: yeh i ran into him like a couple days ago and he was like be careful and i don’t know why but i felt so threatened? so i kinda just shut up because i thought he’d like, cut me or something.  _

 

_ Babygyurl: Jeonghan can i leave for a second i need to check on something _

 

_ Bossmanhan: i mean have i ever given more than half a fuck before _

 

_ Soos: LANGUAGE!!!!!!! EVERYDAY IT’S THE SAME THING JEONGHAN STOP CURSING I’M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A SUPPORT GROUP!!!!!! _

 

_ Kwantaloupe: oh shit hes finally lost it lamo _

 

_ Coups: *mingyu: gets jealous over hao’s sex life* *curses more times than jeongha did**jisoo: no answer* *jeonghan: fu-* *jisoo: DO U WANNA CETCH THESE AHDNS BITHC* _

 

_ Coups: im waiting for the day that jeonghan gets what he deserves and that day jisoo will be the one to carry it out _

 

_ Haoyadoin: im going to choke on my bread i actually thot suckcheol was funny _

 

_ Bossmanhan: ok but lik y r u sayin it like i dont want that _

 

_ Soos: oh my lord stop it jeaonghan _

_ Bossmanhan: fuck me daddy! my ass wants to be fucked!!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!! I wanna be spanked, daddy!!!! _

 

_ Bossmanhan: but it would b u doin that since my ass cant bottom _

 

_ Soos: Jeonghan im going to ur office after work today so i can throw you out the window _

 

_ Kwantaloupe: god this is the kinkiest shit ive lietrally ever seen oh myg god _

 

_ Haoyadoin: when i see Jisoo get mad i always get the feeling that he’s into some kinky shit in bed. _

 

_ Wonwoo: hey hao _

 

_ Haoyadoin: its me _

 

_ Wonwoo: wanna make a bet _

 

_ Haoyadoin: ofc _

 

_ Wonwoo: ill bet fifty bucks that if jeonghan really has sex wit someone within the next week else jisoo would cry _

 

_ Haoyadoin: ill bet fifty that itll happen this week _

 

_ Soos: gosh u guys please stop this  _

 

_ Bossmanhan: no no keep going _

 

_ Soos: I will come right now, Yoon Jeonghan, and personally shove your favorite mini-cactus down ur throat i will literally make u be the one that kills irene _

 

_ Haoyadoin: y r all of jeonghans fave things named irene  _

 

_ Bossmanhan: mmhhhhhhh cant wait babe u know i love it when u get kinky _

 

_ Coups: Jisoo kinda just broke, jeonghan _

 

_ Kwantaloupe: yeah he just threw his fone down and started crying  _

 

_ HoonJi: i hate u guys but ive got to admit hong jisoo in tears at like 12 in the afternon is prety funny  _

 

_ Chan: i would like to quit, please _

 

_ Coups: o shit jihoon u got him 2  _

 

-

-

 

Mingyu taps his foot in an erratic manner as he waits for Jooheon to arrive by the corner of the elevators in the lobby. 

 

When he does, Mingyu straightens out his posture and puts on a grim expression, but he doesn’t really know how so in the distorted reflection of his face in the elevator door in front of him looks like it’s constipated. 

 

“What’s this all about?” Jooheon strolls up casually to Mingyu. Mingyu bites back a scream. 

 

“What the hell did you do to Wonwoo? We were  _ trying  _ to make him jealous, not scare him away!”

 

Jooheon gives him a sheepish smile. “Whoops. But we’ve accomplished the mission, at least. He hates me!” Jooheon says it gleefully, dimples popping out. Mingyu groans. 

 

“No, no, we weren’t- that wasn’t the point, oh, my God, Jooheon, I’m literally never going to talk to you again!” Mingyu can’t help it- he fists his hands and stomps his foot like a petulant child. 

 

Jooheon laughs a little more before he suddenly stops and gives Mingyu a weird glance. “Wait. Doesn’t Wonwoo know I’m asexual, anyways?”

 

Mingyu blinks a couple times. Oh dear lord, he was going to cry. Either because he totally forgot about that or because Wonwoo was dumb enough to forget. But since they both did, it makes them _ both _ equally stupid.

 

“Fuck this.” Mingu mutters, and Jooheon bursts out laughing as Mingyu feels tears threatening to spill over his eyes. 

 

Jooheon places a light hand on Mingyu’s shoulder, patting him like he would to a puppy. “Don’t worry, Mingyu. I do feel like he’s jealous, he even purposely ignored me and tried closing the elevator on my face.”

 

“So? He’s mean to everyone.”

 

Jooheon snorts. “He is. I don’t get why you like him so much.”

 

Mingyu sighs. “I know. But, you know, he was nice at first. When I first came here, he was the first person that ever made me feel like I belonged, you know? He showed me around and introduced me to Minghao and Jihoon.”

 

Jooheon gives Mingyu a quizzical glance. “Then what the hell happened?”

 

Mingyu suppresses a sigh. “It’s my fault, really. But whatever.”

 

Jooheon stays quiet for a little bit before he clears his throat. He pulls Mingyu into a hug and like a wet piece of paper, Mingyu sags and nearly rips in half under the weight of his own body. Jooheon holds him up, rubbing his back gently. 

 

“Hey, just tell him we fucked a couple of times. And then we just didn’t really see it going anywhere. Okay?” Mingyu nods heavily. “But for real? Is he forgetful or dumb, I had a party and everything! With streamers that said ‘Your number 1 company ace is ace!’ That shit was funny, I’m offended.” Mingyu lets out a wet laugh.

 

“He’s both.”

 

“Oof, rest in peace Wonwoo. Anyways, just do what I said, okay?”

 

“Okay. Thank you.” Mingyu lets Jooheon go and then slumps against the wall, looking at the lobby and debating whether to text Minghao or not. He decides he should.

  
  


_ Beanpole: hey minhao _

 

_ Sprout: what is it _

 

_ Beanpole: did i ever tell u the story on how i ruined wonwoo’s life two years ago _

 

_ Sprout: u did fucing wat now? _

 

_ Beanpole: can i talk to u plez i just need to let sum shit out _

 

_ Sprout: meet me in the cafe in three min _

 

_ Beanpole: ur the best  _

 

_ Sprout: ik _

 

-

-

 

Wonwoo watches as Jooheon hugs Mingyu and a tight, constricting feeling of something wraps around his heart, squeezing it and pushing it down. 

 

He shakes his head and makes his way upstairs. He’d come down to ask Mingyu why the hell he had just left without context but-

 

It seemed like there was plenty. 

 

Wonwoo stares at his feet as he walks, but then he hits someone tall. He bounces back, looking up. 

 

“Hey, Wonwoo. Watcha  _ doing? _ ” Jeonghan’s eyes curl into a deep smile, teeth glinting impossibly bright under the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. 

 

“Wha- oh, nothing.” Wonwoo coughs and then tries to side-step Jeonghan, but Jeonghan steps in front again and uses his arms to Wonwoo in place. 

 

“You can’t  _ lie _ to me, Wonwoo-ah, you know that.” Jeonghan slips an arm into the crook of Wonwoo’s elbow and smiles again. “Can I tell you something?”

 

Wonwoo sighs. There’s really no point in trying to run, Jeonghan would just follow. 

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

“Jooheon’s asexual.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Wait a fucking minute. 

 

_ What _ ?

 

It takes a couple seconds for the cogs and gears in Wonwoo’s brain to move and get what Jeonghan is saying to him.  _ Jooheon. Is. Asexual. _

 

“Three, two, -” Jeonghan starts. 

 

“What the fuck!”

 

Jeonghan snickers. “There we go!” He pats Wonwoo on the head and then sighs. 

 

“Do you get it now? He was trying to make you jealous.”

 

Wonwoo snorts. No way. “Yeah, right.”

 

“Really, he was! He didn’t tell anyone on the floor but you. No one knew what the hell you two were talking about!”

 

Wonwoo’s arm is losing blood circulation but he makes no effort to move Jeonghan. 

 

“But then how did you know?”

 

Jeonghan shrugs and gives him a cryptic smile. “You’re one of  _ my _ people, Wonwoo. I know everything about my people.”

 

_ What about Jisoo being in love with you, you oblivious dumbass? _

 

Wonwoo snorts. “Yeah, okay?” Jeonghan glares at him. 

 

“Hey Wonwoo, can I ask you to help me? I need a favor.”

 

Wonwoo hears the word ‘favor’ as ‘scapegoat’ or ‘person willing to jump into a shark pit and then attempt swim out alive’ but he still finds himself nodding tiredly. 

 

“Okay, great. Can I kiss your forehead?.”

 

“What? Why the fuck?”

 

Jeonghan’s eyes turn into coals and there’s just something so  _ evil _ about him right now that Wonwoo’s scared to push Jeonghan away. 

 

“Jisoo’s right there. I wanna see if this whole ‘jealousy’ thinks works. And Mingyu’s still there, too. Why not give him a taste of his own medicine?”

 

Wonwoo blinks. “You’re,  _ actually _ evil. And what the fuck, Mingyu doesn't like me. I’m just bothered by the fact I got finessed by Mingyu. My pride is hurt, not me.”

 

Jeonghan places a hand on his shoulder. Wonwoo thinks it’s very heavy. “Okay, first, you fucking liar, second, are you saying yes or no, Wonwoo.” Mingyu’s starting to walk this way and so is Jisoo. “Besides, I’m not asking to make out. It’s just one super tiny little forehead kiss.”

 

Wonwoo doesn’t answer, just nods. Why the fucking hell not? 

 

Jeonghan smiles and then turns Wonwoo to face him and tiptoes (even though he doesn’t have to) and brushes the hair out of Wonwoo’s forehead. He places a soft, quiet kiss on Wonwoo’s head and for some reason Wonwoo feels like he’s going to start crying. No one’s ever done something like that since  _ him _ . 

 

Wonwoo feels like he’s violating something that doesn’t belong to him. Jeonghan shouldn’t be doing this to him, he should be doing it to Jisoo. And Mingyu shouldn’t be watching him, it makes him dizzy. 

 

When Jeonghan lets go a couple of seconds later, Jeonghan gives him a smile and thanks him. He spins dramatically on a foot and then screams out Jisoo’s name and runs to him. Jisoo looks  _ lost _ but when Jeonghan jumps on him his expression changes into a happy one. 

 

It’s fake. It is  _ so,  _ so fake he wonders in exasperation how Jeonghan doesn’t see it. 

 

He looks around and sees Mingyu looking at him, open mouthed at eyes wide open. 

 

He walks towards the elevators, right past Mingyu. Mingyu stutters something out but then Minghao shows up and Wonwoo decides it’s not even worth looking back. 

 

-

-

 

Minghao doesn’t really know where to start, what to say, what to do, where to look; but he does know that his brain hurts a whole fucking lot. 

 

“So, uh.”

 

Mingyu looks up from chewing at his lip. Minghao winces because any more biting and his lip’s going to rip. 

 

“Yeah. Whatever, you know how Jeonghan gets all clingy when he doesn’t have any human contact for like, two minutes. Anyways I want to talk.”

 

Minghao pinches his thigh under the table just to wake himself up, to make sure he isn’t in some kind of dreamland where  _ Jeonghan _ kissed  _ Wonwoo _ in front of  _ Jisoo. _

 

“Mhm. So, spill. How did you ruin Wonwoo’s life two years ago?”

 

Minghao is ready for something overdramatic and emphasized, overblown out of proportion by Mingyu’s overactive, childish mind. But when his friend gets through the story, he gulps and realizes that Mingyu isn’t exactly wrong. 

 

Well, still. ‘Ruined’ was a stronger word than Minghao would’ve thought of. Maybe  _ disrupted,  _ but nowhere near turning it into ‘a living hell that only Satan could’ve planned out for me in the depths of Hawaii’s volcanoes.’

 

But Mingyu did always have a flair for exaggeration so when he was done, Minghao just sat and sipped his coffee for a while. 

“Like, I love you and all, but  _ why’d _ you not tell me this earlier? Do you want to die on my hands, Kim Mingyu? Keeping a secret this big from me? I’m like, ready to kill you?” Minghao glares at Mingyu. 

 

“It’s not like I  _ wanted _ to keep it from you, I just thought that you would, you know, well, you know-”

 

“Judge? A bitch is hurt, Mingyu, and that bitch is me.” Minghao raises a brow while taking another sip from his drink. Mingyu seems to shrink back into his seat. 

 

Minghao’s phone buzzes. The screen lights up on the table and Minghao leans forward to look at the name that flashes across the screen. 

 

It’s Jun’s. Minghao bites his lip- he already knows it’s going to be saying that he needs to sleep over at the hospital because he’s got an early shift tomorrow and it’s just easier to stay in the nap room than it is to commute home and then go back in three hours. 

 

_ Baby: Sorry, babe, I’ve got an early shift tomorrow, I need to stay over….. _

 

The message is cut short by the screen but Minghao knew it. 

 

Mingyu places a hand on Minghao’s arm. “Again?”

 

Minghao bites his lip. “Yeah. It’s the seventh time in three weeks, Mingyu. God, I just, sometimes I feel like, I don't know. Nevermind.” But Mingyu pats his the back of his hand and urges him on. 

 

“C’mon, tell me. I told you all my shit.” Mingyu fakes a pout and Minghao laughs. He finds his resolve breaking. He stays quiet for a while before taking in a breath and talking. 

 

“I feel like he’s going to leave, Mingyu. Like, really soon. Everytime he’s home he’s either sleeping or napping or eating and then sleeping. He barely touches me- oh, not like that!” Minghao jokingly swats at Mingyu’s thigh when he makes a face. “He won’t even cuddle with me, hug me, touch my hair, hold my hand, anything!” Minghao feels himself running out of air as his voice gets gradually higher and the words come out faster. “This week, when we went grocery shopping, the cashier lady told us we were good roommates! We’ve never been mistaken as anything other than a couple, Mingyu! He, he’s  _ slipping _ away, and I can’t grab him, Mingyu. He’s going to go, leave, I don’t know!”

 

Minghao lets out a dreary sigh, feeling some kind of thick, heavy air drape across his lungs and suffocate him, giving him a fraction of a hole to breathe out of. It fills every inch of his blood and weighs him down, holds him to the floor, while Jun gets pumped with helium and floats away. 

 

No matter how hard he tries to keep Jun on the ground, he slips away, flies further and further from Minghao, from  _ home. _

 

Mingyu sniffles. “That’s a fucking dick move of him, Hao. I’m sure he’s just stressed. But God, Minghao, don’t just ignore it like last time. Okay? If you’re having issues, just, talk. You know how bad it ended last time, hmm?”

 

“Yeah, I know, I know.”

 

Minghao briefly shuts his eyes and then he can hear the muffled screams of his mother, over the phone. 

 

Her voice scratches against his ear and causes him to shiver. He quickly sends a series of sad emojis to Jun but he finds himself not meaning any of it.

 

Minghao nearly falls off his chair when he comes to that realization.

 

He isn’t  _ sad _ about it. 

-

-

 

Jisoo rolls his neck and looks at the empty room. Everyone’s out for their 4’ocklock break, but Jisoo had stayed behind. He feels bored, restless, he needs something to do.

 

So out of second nature, he finds himself gravitating to Jeonghan’s room.

 

Jeonghan’s sleeping against his desk, head splayed out against his arm and fingers lightly curled. His wavy brown hair spills against his cheeks and Jisoo moves the shorts strands back because every so often Jeonghan’s nose twitches from where it tickles. He looks tired, which makes Jisoo frown. Jeonghan shouldn’t be tired. There’s a jacket haphazardly thrown onto his back, but it’s slipping so Jisoo takes it off to reposition it. 

 

But the jacket hits the floor when Jisoo sees a disgustingly obnoxious hickey on the column of his neck. Jisoo doesn’t really know how to react but he knows that his stomach is rolling. 

 

Jisoo’s mind blanks has he drags a light finger across it. Jeonghan stirs but doesn’t wake. His eyes squint before returning back to normal. Jisoo feels tears. 

 

Of course Jeonghan had  _ someone _ . If his father was making him do all  _ that _ , of course Jeonghan had to be doing it with someone. 

 

It just never crossed his mind that it would be physical. 

 

Jisoo sniffles. He feels the warmth behind his eyelids, and he panics. He’s not going to cry just because he saw one damn hickey on Jeonghan’s neck. He hates thinking that; Jeonghan isn’t  _ tired _ , he’s just  _ fucked out _ .

 

There’s a new resolve in his mind. It’s a strange one, just because every other time he’s imagined himself doing something this rash, he’s brushed it off. An excuse every time, like,  _ he wouldn’t respond,  _ or  _ he’s probably be weirded out _ . 

 

But not this time. Jisoo finds himself meaning is,  _ desperate _ to make it true. 

 

The next hickey Jeonghan gets,  _ he’s _ going to make it.

  
  


-

-

 

Seungcheol doesn’t really know what he’s doing in the break room. He somehow wandered there out of a combination of boredom and sligh motion sickness, even though he wasn’t moving. 

 

The same, rolling wave of nausea is starting up again and if he were a girl, Seungcheol would’ve guessed pregnancy. 

 

Except he’s a dude with a dick and so it couldn’t be. 

 

He sits on the couch, staring at nothing in particular. His eyes land on the coffee machine and he thinks of Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon. 

 

Jihoon. 

 

Seungcheol hates how his name fills up his thoughts. He knows Jihoon barely considers them friends, and if he does, it would be because of their coworker relationship. Seungcheol can’t really remember a time where he had actually held a real  _ conversation with meaning _ with Jihoon. 

 

Speak of the devil, Jihoon enters in short, angry little strides that has Seungcheol smiling. 

 

“Hello, Jihoon.”

 

“Uh? Oh, hey Seungcheol.” Jihoon gives him a brief glance and then goes back to searching for a mug. “Fuck!”

 

Seungcheol giggles. Like, actually,  _ giggles _ . “What’s wrong?”

 

Jihoon gives him an incredulous look. “Did you just fucking giggle? Choi Seungcheol, Mr. Macho Man, the ruler of the gym, King of Thighs, just giggle?”

 

Seungcheol gives Jihoon a teasing smile. “Yeah. I did. But you look cute, trying to reach your mug. I’ll help.”

 

Jihoon glares at Seungcheol, who pushes himself off the couch and walks over to Jihoon. 

 

“Fuck off, I’m like a vertically challenged street fighter, I’d still kick your ass.”

 

Seungcheol lets out a genuine, for-real laugh. Jihoon looks caught off guard but he smiles. 

 

“Alright, then you can be  _ my _ vertically challenged street fighter. I’ll be like, your manager or something. I’ll find people who call you short or cute and you can go around doing your little dance. Hmm? By the way, you’re short and cute.”

 

Seungcheol finds himself easing up, leaning on his side against counter. Jihoon looks like he wants to say something back to him but doesn’t, choosing to cross his arms to copy Seungcheol’s pose. 

 

“Would you rather get your ass handed to you by someone a solid half-foot shorter or get me my mug?”

 

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. Seungcheol does the same to mimic him. 

 

“I’ll get you your mug. See? Where would you find another manager this loyal?” Seungcheol turns around to look at the shelf. “Which one’s yours? The one with Groot on it or the one with all the curse words printed on it?”

 

Jihoon laughs. Seungcheol blushes. “Which one do you think.”

 

“The one that has ‘fuck’ printed on it in a million different fonts?”

 

“Nope, that’s Jeonghan’s.”

 

“Groot? That’s actually - really endearingly cute. Oh, my God, Jihoon, you’re killing me.” Seungcheol grasps his chest and groans. “See, look! Cupid’s just shot me.”

 

Seungcheol’s hand is on the cup when Jihoon nudges him. “Hey, muscle pig, listen up-”

 

The cup comes crashing down and breaks against the floor. 

 

The two of them remain quiet for a little, and then  _ it comes back _ . The nausea, the dizziness, the vertigo, whatever the fuck it was, it slaps him on the face and Seungcheol sort of half-staggers onto his knees, half-trips onto the floor. 

 

He feels a small piece of glass cut into his skin but when he retches and vomits up nothing, he doesn’t really care. Jihoon drops to his side, immediately grabbing his shoulders. 

 

“Hey, Seungcheol, you okay? It’s a cup, don’t worry-”

 

Seungcheol’s head drops heavily onto his chest, like his neck can’t hold up his face anymore. His stomach roils and tumbles. Seungcheol doesn’t know what he’s going to throw up - he hasn’t eaten since last night and he had vomited that up again. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jihoon, can you-” Another gag. Jihoon says something that Seungcheol can’t comprehend. “The bathroom. Bathroom, please, Jihoon-”

 

His bones seem to sag and Jihoon tries to pull him up but quickly gives up - even in his current state, Seungcheol understands Jihoon couldn’t physically hold him up and bring him to the bathroom. So Jihoon flits around and brings a trash can over. 

 

Seungcheol barely has time to get back up before he throws up into the trash can. The warm saliva in his mouth tastes like sour bile, metallic and tangy with the taste of-

 

“Seungcheol, Seungcheol, get up! Get up, you just threw up blood, God, fuck, fuck, fuck - Help, help, Jisoo, Wonwoo, someone! Seungcheol! Jisoo, Wonwoo, Mingyu, fuck,  _ someone! _ Help!”

 

Jihoon screams into the hallway and Seungcheol throws up again, throat sore and the disgusting taste of blood fills up his senses. 

 

Jihoon screams some more and Jisoo and Wonwoo do indeed burst into the room. 

 

“What the f-”

 

Seungcheol doesn’t know who says it because everything just turns black and a warm sense of nothingness envelopes him. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Min: BONJOUR MY READERS!!! hope you're all having a lovely day, I'm feeling kinda way better than normal today. IDK, I've been pretty damn happy these days and I've even stopped medication for now, so since Im not as tired after homeowrk and studying, i can edit and write for a whole lot longer, which means more frequent updates for u wonderful folks!!! 
> 
> Sam: okay Min just said folks im going to be the one eating a cactus??? and also she asked me to edit this and HOLY SHIT u guys should know at first she made JEONGHAN AND WONWOO make the FUCK OUT in the lobby but i was like, SWEATY CHILL and she was like yeah ur right it's too much but now IDK IF I REGRET TELLIG HER TO CANGE IT I WANT THAT MUCH DRAMA also rip coups but hes fine dont worry also Min's yelling at me to hurry up so BYE?? Im lokey offended im just here as her plaything/editor(not really lmao)/person who makes her notes better 
> 
> Min: okay Sam's gone and IM BACK! like i said, updates every friday! im surprused that i could keep up with it but yeayay!! and also i think this is going to be a LITTLE longer than 20 chapters but idk yet that is still up for debate. Check out my other fics (the rest are BTS fics and one EXO fic) if you want!
> 
> SEE YOU GUYS NEXT FRIDAY IM ROOTING FOR U STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY!!!!!


	5. Snowball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY I DIDN'T POST YESTERDAY

When Seungcheol woke up, he didn’t expect to see Jeonghan crying over him in the corner or Mingyu leaning over his fluttering eyes in anticipation of his wake, or even Jihoon to be in the room, pacing back and forth with worry. 

 

And Seungcheol was right, he got nothing of the sort. 

 

“You fucking bitch ass bitch, do you wanna fucking die? Bitch, you fucking  _ passed out _ and didn’t wake back up, you have the  _ audacity _ to do so in my presence?” Jeonghan smacks a fish into his palm and makes a growling noise. His face is haggard and hollow, eyes seemingly sinking into his head and voice scratchy. 

 

Seungcheol groans when Jeonghan’s violent onslaught of words comes at him. He still barely woke up, what the fuck is Jeonghan screaming about?

 

“You know, I hate to play the victim card, but um,  _ excuse m _ e?”

 

Jeonghan waves his hands in a circle, walking right past a Mingyu that tries to cover his mouth. “ _ Oh,  _ so Sleeping Beauty here is going to play  _ princess _ , hmm? You were fucking  _ sick,  _ Seungcheol, how do you think I would’ve felt to see my most best friend in the world surrounded by a pool of his own blood? Drowning in his own spitty vomit? Bitch?”

 

Seungcheol walks to smash his urine pan or whatever it’s called into Jeonghan’s face and he holds back a laugh. 

 

“Okay, Jeonghan, calm down, he did not _drown in his vomit_ or even came close to being _surrounded by_ _his own blood_. The surgery went well, and it’s obvious that all of us in here are sleep deprived and ready to _go home_.” Jihoon gets up from his seat in the corner of the room, face haggard. 

 

Seungcheol thinks it’s cute. 

 

“No! I refuse to-” Jeonghan’s cut off by Mingyu’s hand. Mingyu hikes Jeonghan over his shoulder and smiles at Seungcheol sheepishly. Jeonghan lets out a scream like he’s being exorcised or something. Seungcheol wants him to shut up. 

 

“Sorry, you know how he gets.”

 

“Bitch? Excuse me? How do I get? Explain to me what-” the rest is cut off when the door closes. 

 

Jihoon sighs as he makes his way over to Seungcheol. 

 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Seungcheol’s brain kind of hurts. He swore Jihoon said ‘the  _ surgery _ went well.’ “Did I have surgery? For what?”

 

Jihoon takes Seungcheol’s hand and starts patting it, and whether it’s subconscious or not, Seungcheol doesn’t pull away. 

 

“You had stomach ulcers. Well, at first, but apparently the acid in your stomach was eating away at the walls, Seungcheol. I don’t understand how you just - lived through that - anyways, they removed like a tiny itty bitty part of your stomach that was already too damaged by the acid to regenerate enough to heal so yeah. Jeonghan wouldn’t let anyone pay your for gasectromy but himself so the bill’s already taken care of.”

 

Seungcheol frowns. “Alright. How long have I been out?” Seungcheol looks around dizzily for a water bottle or something, but Jihoon’s already got one in his hand and opens it up fro Seungcheol to drink from. 

 

“You’ve actually woken up like, four time in the past three days. But you kept passing back out.” Jihoon lets go of Seungcheol’s hand. “You know, Jeonghan hasn’t slept for more than an seventy minutes in the past fifty hours.”

 

Seungcheol feels his throat go dry again but not because he’s sick. “He’s the best. Although I’m surprised Jisoo didn’t come by.”

 

Jihoon lets out a little scoff. “Oh, he did. But Jeonghan said that if Jisoo had a shred of understanding left for him then he would leave him alone. Kind of a low blow, but whatever.”

 

The room stays quiet for a little, the slight humming from the IV the only noise that fills the air. Jihoon starts shuffling around for his stuff, a phone charger in the outlet, a toothbrush from the cup in the nightstand. 

 

It’s all very domestic. 

 

“How come you didn’t leave?”

 

Jihoon turns his head sharply, but the look on his face isn’t a scowl. It’s more like a peaceful, inquisitive smile, which makes Seungcheol’s heart die and then come back to life again.

 

“Because I’ve decided that I like you.” Jihoon clasps his hands together and the clapping noise they make is loud but Seungcheol’s heartbeat in his ear is even louder. 

 

“What?” Seungcheol’s throat goes dry and his eyes follow Jihoon as he makes his way  to the bed and perches on the end. It’s a simple, easy to understand declaration. But it sends Seungcheol’s brain into a frenzy. 

_ Did Jihoon just say what he said? Or my medication getting to my head? _

 

“Seeing you on that bed, even you in the ambulance, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like such shit before. I thought about for a while, too. So don’t go all ‘Seungcheol’ on me and say,  _ oh, you just think that because I was hurt while you were there. _ It’d make me mad. I like you.”

 

It takes a couple minutes before it  _ really _ sinks in that Jihoon’s being serious, slanted eyes look upwards and him and hands shaking with anticipation. 

 

“God,  _ God,  _ Jihoon.” Seungcheol’s arm hurts when he strains against the IV but it doesn’t matter because he pulls Jihoon into him, on top of his chest, into a hug. 

 

He doesn’t do anything for a while but keep his face buried into the soft skin of Jihoon’s neck and breathes in slowly, clutching onto Jihoon like if he lets go, Jihoon will evaporate. 

 

When they both look up, it’s like an unsaid agreement. They move in for a kiss, gentle, with dry lips and hungry hearts pushing them into each other. Jihoon stays straddled on Seungcheol’s lap, wrapping his small arms around Seuncgheol’s neck. 

 

When they pull away, Jihoon laughs softly and Seungcheol breaks out into a smile so big he feels his lips stretch to the point that they hurt. 

 

“So?”

 

Seungcheol smiles at Jihoon. “What do you mean, so? Today’s day one!”

 

Jihoon giggles. “Sure. Let’s talk more after I pee, I’ve been dying for like, two hours.” Jihoon jumps off the bed and heads out the door. Mere seconds later, it opens again. Seungcheol groans at the familiar face. 

 

“Seungcheol. What the hell did I tell you? Do you need me to smack some sense into you?” 

 

“Namjoon, I know, I  _ know _ , I’m so-”

 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it this time! Tell me, why did I have to find out from  _ Kim Junmyeon _ , the  _ head oncologist _ , out of all people? Do you want to die in my hands instead?” Namjoon looks  _ livid _ , one gloved hand clutching a clipboard. Seungcheol thinks it’s going to snap. “He ran a biopsy, Seungcheol. You know what that means, if someone like  _ Kim Junmyeon _ thinks it’s important enough to run a test on.”

 

Seungcheol feels his stomach flip inside out. He almost laughs out loud at that. It’s disgusting how he feels like  _ laughing _ at that. Of course it’s his stomach. He wants to throw a brick at the wall. Just wants to see something break right now. 

 

“Is it that-”

 

“You need to go into surgery or start treatment within the next two months. It’s extremely small as of right now, but I can’t say for sure how fast it’s growing. You fucking  _ dick _ , do something,  _ quick _ ! I  _ refuse _ to lose another - you know what?  _ Just to it _ .” Namjoon’s voice is booming and his face grows red. The anger  _ seethes _ out of his voice, oozing like liquid caramel, thick and slow but suffocating. 

 

It makes Seungcheol mad. Nothing should have to  _ dictate _ his life like that, he shouldn’t have to  _ choose _ to survive. “What if I don’t?”

 

Namjoon suddenly turns around and slams a fist into the wall, the echo bursting around the room and making Seungcheol sick. Namjoon breathes heavily, and when he pulls his fist away, the plaster on the wall is a little red and Namjoon’s glove drips red. 

 

“You’ll never see that Jihan or whatever his name is again.”

 

“It’s Jihoon.”

 

Seungcheol gives Namjoon a sad smile and Namjoon does nothing but let out a frustrated groan and storms out, most likely to go yell at Junmyeon a bit more about something. 

 

Fine. If he can’t have Jihoon, then he’ll die either way. 

 

Doesn’t matter.

-

-

 

“This is premeditated murder! I want out, I refuse to become a witness, an  _ accomplice,  _ of such a heinous crime! Because I  _ will _ be killed by Jeonghan hyung if I take part in this!” Chan slams his fist down on the table, making the water-filled cups rattle a bit. 

 

“Chan, Chan, sweetie, it’s fine, it’s for the  _ benefit _ of the group. For harmony, we must be willing to sacrifice, that’s the defini-”

 

“Open up a dictionary, hyung, that’s not what harmony means! We should  _ not  _ do this, we are  _ going  _ to get in trouble!” Chan shivers at the thought of getting punished by Jeonghan if they were caught. It wouldn’t be not getting paid for two weeks, No, no, it’s be like, cutting the lawn with nothing but eyebrow scissors or cleaning every toilet with those cloth wipes you use on glasses. 

 

Chan is  _ not  _ going to do this. 

 

He is pure, untainted, uncontaminated, good, righteous, saintly, clean, angelic,  _ untouched  _ by evil and he plans to stay that way. 

 

“C’mon, don’t you guys want Jeonghan and Jisoo to happen? Because I  _ understand  _ crushing on someone for like, two months before making a move. But twenty years? That’s uncalled for.”

 

Mingyu’s response garners a quick nod from Minghao and a sage sounding exhale from Seokmin. Chan feels tears, like, big, fat,  _ I’m crying because I just lost my husband at war but life will go on  _ tears. 

 

Chan feels his resolve crumbling. It’s not that he’s keen on giving into peer pressure, but he kind of also wants Jeonghan and Jisoo to end up together. 

 

If it’s in the name of true love, isn’t it okay?

 

“Fine!  _ Fine, _ I will do it. But would Jeonghan really be willing to wear lace panties for us?”

 

The whole sentence makes Chan want to gag. He doesn’t even know what a fucking panty even  _ looks _ like, for crying out loud. He’s not built for this. He’s not built for the harsh life of the street that calls for him if this 

 

“Of course not, silly. Once Seungcheol is discharged, he’ll want to go on the trip within a week. Minghao’s going to bring up a truth or dare game with him and it’ll just take off after that. The Yoon Jeonghan we know would rather be skinned alive with a kabob knife than to pass up a dare.” Seokmin snorts. “Weak bitch.”

 

Chan doesn’t really understand what that has to do with being weak but he assumes it’s because Seokmin doesn’t curse too much so he jumps on every opportunity to do so.

 

Chan sighs. “Alright, we got that part down. But how’re you gonna get Jisoo hyung to actually  _ see  _ it?”

 

Minghao gives Chan a light pat on the head. “Sweetcheeks, that’s your job.”

 

“What?”

 

-

-

 

“Wonwoo, you should just give your fifty bucks to Minghao now.” Jisoo lets out an exhausted breathe and sags into the couch, tiredly placing his hand on his cheek. Chan takes a seat on the plastic chair in front of him, sandwich in hand. 

 

“Uh, I’m all for free money, but why?” Minghao obnoxiously places his legs on top of Jisoo’s lap but he can’t find himself to care. Jisoo doesn’t even care when Minghao starts purposefully dumping his whole body onto Jisoo’s lap. It’s like holding a giant, skinny teddy bear. Minghao isn’t nearly as soft, though. 

 

“I’m more worried about the fact that Jisoo’s letting someone besides Jeonghan touch him like that than the fact that I apparently owe Minghao fifty bucks.”

 

Jisoo sighs. “Nevermind, maybe you guys forgot. Whatever. I hate my life.”

 

Minghao snorts. “You sound like Wonwoo over IM, chill out.”

 

Wonwoo’s brows fold together and he mouths something to himself. Jisoo immediately regrets saying what he said; Wonwoo’s smart and doesn’t forget things easily. He’ll pick up sooner or later.

 

“Hyung, you look constipated.” Chan giggles cutely behind his hand as he swallows his food. Oh, to be as young as Chan again. When everything was easier, when Jeonghan was still  _ his _ .

 

God. 

 

He misses that. 

 

“Fuck! Jisoo, really? Jeonghan really - fuck!” Wonwoo’s hand flies comically fast to his mouth and his eyes go wide. 

 

Jisoo musters all of his anger and glares at Wonwoo. “We’ve established what he’s done,  _ thank you very much _ .”

 

Minghao nudges Jisoo’s side with a foot. “Tell me! Me too! Me, me,  _ me _ , tell me! Tell - oh fucking hell!” Minghao mimics Wonwoo’s expression but immediately bolts up to his feet and gets his phone out of his pocket. 

 

After scrolling for a couple seconds, Wonwoo and Minghao shriek together. Jisoo gets up and dramatically lets out a wail as he hides himself behind the couch. He’s glad he’s built pretty thin (and that the couch isn’t connected to the wall right now) and he hears Chan swallow and then ask to read Minghao’s phone.

 

“Jeonghan fucked someone else?” Chan’s voice is too loud - someone enters the doorway. Jisoo stays behind the couch and thinks about whether he should slither out while crying for added ‘oomph’ when  _ Jeonghan _ starts talking.

 

“Yeah I did, but it was like, three days ago. How’d you guys know?”

 

Jisoo feels his heart fucking explode out his ass and then shoot itself into a trashcan. Fuck everything, he had his suspicions but didn’t really believe Jeonghan did it. 

 

“Really? You  _ really,  _ really slept with someone else? Who? Why? Really?” Minghao sounds like an annoying bird, voice all chirping and grating, but at the same time, Jisoo is grateful that he’s on the one doing it. He doesn’t have the balls to ask.

 

Jisoo can practically  _ see _ Jeonghan shrugging indifferently, maybe running a hand through his hair like he always does. It’s very understandable - Jeonghan’s got nice hair. It’s Jisoo’s personal favorite habit that Jeonghan has. 

 

“I wanted sex, obviously. And it was with no one of your interest, that’s who. Guys, move. I wanna shoot this paper ball into the recyc- dammit, I missed.”

 

Jisoo hears footsteps coming near him and bolts up - he doesn’t want Jeonghan seeing him behind the couch. But he’s not fast enough and Jeonghan’s face appears above his. 

 

“Jisoo?”

 

Jisoo pastes a flustered grin on his face and clambers up to his feet. “Hey, Hannie!” His voice is disgustingly fake and Chan’s eyes quiver. He swears the half-eaten sandwich in his hand quivers as well. He smiles as brightly as he possibly can, so his eyes squeeze his tears back. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’ve got to run.” Jisoo feels his lashes grow heavy. 

 

Jisoo bolts out of there, and the minute his foot passes the doorway, his hands go up to his face. He sniffles into his sleeve, running blindly for the bathroom.

 

It seems like catching tears are his new skill. 

 

-

-

 

Soonyong watches with mild anger as Jun kicks his legs up on his sofa. With every breath that he takes, Soonyoung wants to drive a pen up Jun’s ass. 

 

“When are you going to fucking man up and tell you boyfriend all your shit? I’m not some bitch watching out for you cry about your love life and then watch you fuck it all up.”

 

Jun waves a hand in the air as he scrolls. “I’ve got a shift in thirty. I’m leaving in ten, chill out, man.”

 

The frustration boils up within Soonyoung again. He feels bad for Minghao. He’s seen him once, when Jisoo brought him over. He knew it was Minghao because Minghao was the background wallpaper on Jun’s phone. 

 

Well, not anymore. Now it was some brown puppy that Jun wanted to get.

 

People like Minghao don’t deserve to be hurt, people who put everything they’ve got on the table even if others give nothing. But here Jun is  _ yet again _ , probably sending his boyfriend an uninterested text. 

 

_ “Sorry, you know how nurses are busy.” _

 

_ “That Jackson fucked up again, I’ve got to straighten some things out.” _

 

_ “Sorry, but I’m exhausted right now. I’ll just sleep over in the nap room.” _

 

“Jun, you need to use you  _ words _ . Are you dumb? If you can’t talk to me, then do it to Minghao.”

 

Jun purses his lips and his narrow, drawing downwards. He sets his phone down and pushes himself up into a sitting position. 

 

“I will. I will, just not right now. There’s a trip coming up for them, soon. I’ll talk to him then.”

 

Sooyoung's about to chuck a binder at Jun’s face when his phone rings. Annoyed with Jun, he picks it up from the desk and looks at the ID. 

 

“Seokmin! Hello!” Soonyoung pulls the phone away from his face a little when his voice comes out too screechy. 

 

“Oh, you’re here! Can you go open the front door, I’m here with your cranes.”

 

Soonyoung can’t help but laugh. 

 

Seokmin is…

 

Cute. 

 

Soonyoung lets out a hurried yes and leaves Jun alone in the room, going to the front of the restaurant. It’s closed because Jun had come - Soonyoung can’t ever do anything when Jun pops in. He’s too worried that he’d either compain over the speakers about not getting enough attention or bother Soonyoung to the point where he wouldn’t be able to get anything done. 

 

Seokmin stands outside the closed door, holding a slightly bigger basket than last time in a navy blue cardigan that’s a little  _ too _ big for his frame. 

 

It’s endearingly cute and paired with the small smile on Seokmin’s face, Soonyoung wonders whether he should just ask out Seokmin. 

 

But Seokmin looks like he’s got a plan for the future or something so Soonyoung stays quiet because he’s not that bitch that takes away a moment. 

 

Well, he hopes it’s a moment, anyways. 

 

He goes to open the door, and Seokmin steps inside. 

 

“Hey! Can I ask you something? Okay? Okay, so like there’s a trip next week for my office and would you like to come with me? I mean, Jisoo would be there and it would just be completely platonic and I know that we aren’t that close but there’s still like a week and a half left before we go so like if you ever want to go on a trip snowboarding then you should text me! Oh, and here are three hundred more cranes, I spent all of my free time on them. My fingers twitch on their own now, isn’t that funny? If you say yes then I’ll finish making my cranes for you, okay, bye!”

 

Seokmin shoves the basket in his hands into Soonyoung’s and doesn’t even give him time to respond, just dashes off. His arms and legs pump up and down and the cardigan lifts behind him like a little fuzzy cape.

 

It’s  _ really _ fucking cute. 

 

Jun saunters up from behind up. “You’re always telling me to look after my love life, I should be doing it to you.” Jun eyes the cranes. “Oh, was it the cute guy with the nice voice?”

 

There’s a smirk on Jun’s knowing face but Soonyoung isn’t feeling it right now, not with such a shit boyfriend. No matter how much he loves Jun, this Minghao shouldn't be going through Jun’s shit right now. 

 

“Yeah it is. But I’m still going to tell it to you. You fucking dick.”

 

Jun takes a crane out of the basket and holds it up. They’re assorted in colors and very small - Seokmin must’ve used post-its. 

 

“Yeah, I know, I’m going to talk to HaoHao soon.”

 

“You don’t deserve to call him, bitch.”

 

Jun just flaps his hand in the air and starts to head for the door. “I’ll do it on that trip, I swear.”

 

“You know what? I’m going to go, too. And don’t touch my shit.” Soonyoung grabs his crane back, strangely angry that Jun’s touched it. That someone else has touched what Seokmin made for him. 

 

When Soonyoung realizes that he’s more angry at Jun for taking the crane than being a fucking bastard to Minghao, he knows it’s the beginning of a big, fat, going-to-end-really-bad crush. 

 

“What? The what? Trip? Oh, don’t tell me it’s that one! Did the guy who just came invite you? He did, didn’t he? He did, he so did, look at your face!” 

 

Soonyoung storms to his office and doesn’t turn around as he flips off Jun. 

 

“Do you suck dick?”

 

“No, not anymore, not really.” Jun’s response is a little hard to hear because of their distance. Soonyoung doesn’t realize how big the restaurant actually is until now. 

 

His father’s done a good job. 

 

“Well, you do now. It’s mine, bitch!”

 

Soonyoung slams his office door with a loud thud, gently placing his basket on his desk. He hears Jun leave through the front door. 

 

He makes a  _ hmph _ noise and blows off the non-existent dust on the crane that Jun touched.

-

-

 

Jihoon helps Seungcheol put away the extra blankets and cleans up around the room, the little traces of  _ Jeonghan  _ that Jeonghan left behind. Some ripped up shreds of paper in a small pile on the floor, a wooden spatula behind the nightstand (what the fuck?), a couple of mandarins tossed into a drawer (oh, right, it’s not like there’s a  _ fridge _ to use.), and a random red wool sock underneath the bed. 

 

Seungcheol’s on the bed, writing up the last of his forms. 

 

“Hey, who was that doctor that came storming out the room earlier?” Jihoon’s bored; small talk seems to be the only option to try and start a conversation. Seungcheol had mostly been tired after being cut off his pain medication, nodding on and off (with Jihoon in his arms.)

 

Jihoon kind of blushes at the thought. Their size difference meant that Seungcheol completely engulfed Jihoon and made a small cocoon around him. 

 

“Oh? He was a surgeon here. He’s my friend.”

 

Jihoon sends a playful glare to Seungcheol. “Do I need to be worried two hours into our relationship?”

 

Jihoon expects maybe a cute pout and Seungcheol crossing his arms but Seungcheol’s face falls and he starts  _ crying _ . 

 

Jihoon grows confused but he allows Seungcheol to do so because Seungcheol crying is cute. His long ass lashes get dark and wet and make him look even more like a puppy. 

 

“No! No, no, no, don’t worry Jihoon, I’d never hurt you, God, Jihoon, no.”

 

Jihoon stands still, eyes wide and arms shaking around his side. He’s surprisingly flattered (and  _ way  _ too happy for his feelings to be considered normal.) When he feels warm tears hit the top of his head, he feels his own eyes start to get warm, even though he doesn’t really get why. 

 

“Okay, sorry, it’s fine. It’s fine, Seungcheol, it was a joke.”

 

“God, don’t say dumb shit like that.” Seungcheol presses a kiss on Jihoon’s forehead and Jihoon’s scalp feels warm. 

 

His whole face, body, heart, they all feel warm. 

 

“But for real, why was he here? Is there anything wrong?”

 

Seungcheol looks thoughtful. “Nah, he told me his boyfriend might be cheating on him. And that I need to come back for an appointment in three weeks.”

 

Jihoon pulls a face. 

 

“Ouch, sorry to hear.”

 

Seungcheol sighs. “Yeah, it is. Anyways, let's finish packing!” Seungcheol looks eager to continue the conversation even further so out of his boyfriend’s comfort, Jihoon drops it from his head. 

 

“By the way, are we going to tell the others?”

 

“Um, duh? Do you think I’m going to keep you as an accessory on my lap or something?”

 

“Your lap?”

 

Seungcheol looks up from his papers with a dumbfounded expression. “Where else would you sit?”

 

-

-

 

Minghao stares at his phone, debating whether he should call Mingyu or not. He needs someone to push him to talk to Jun. 

 

But in the end, his weak ass can’t handle the pressure so he tells Jisoo he’s going for a walk. Jisoo doesn’t question him and says he’ll take on the rest of Minghao’s work. 

 

Minghao is sometimes very thankful for him more than he’d ever show. 

 

He finds his feet gravitating to that restaurant that Jisoo brought them to, craving warm comfort food all of a sudden. The thought of a simple beef broth with janchi guksu makes him smile amidst his inner turmoil. 

 

Finally entering the restaurant, he’s greeting by the scent of warm soup and the bell tinkles a pretty chime over his head. 

 

A worker leads him to a round table and hands him a menu. Minghao says there’s no needs and orders his janchi guksu, awaiting his order. 

 

“Minghao, is it?” Minghao nearly falls out of the table in surprise but he manages to bite down his scream and looks up. 

 

“Ah, Soonyoung-ssi, hello!”

 

Soonyoung lets out a short laugh. “Just call me Soonyoung.”

 

“Ah, I will.” Minghao smiles at him. 

 

“Oh, and Minghao, um, may I ask you something?”

 

Minghao blinks. “Of course.”

 

“Do you know- ah, nevermind. Do you like janchi guksu?”

 

Minghao smiles. “Yes, it’s different than the warm noodle dishes in China. It may be better.” Minghao winks and Soonyoung nods while laughing. 

 

“Alright. I’ll just leave you be, then.”

 

Minghao waves goodbye but doesn’t ignore a nagging feeling in his head. 

 

_ Did I ever introduce myself to him? _

 

He might’ve when he was here with Jisoo - but he can’t be sure. 

 

His phone pings. 

 

_ Hoebag: bruh wanna hear something _

 

_ Haobag: what is it _

 

_ Hoebag: jun was at the restaurant ur at rn  _

 

_ Haobag: what the fuck? Also, how do you know what restaurant im in? _

 

_ Hoebag: u texted me before u left? fuckkin dumbutt anyways i luv how u spelt out wtf _

 

_ Hoebag: anyways jisoo told me that aperntly Jun was ther but kept anniyng Soonyuong so sonyoun kicked him out _

 

_ Hoebag: they’re frieds if u ddnt pick that up already _

 

_ Haobag: im still not geting thsi thu my head _

 

_ Hoebag: ur dick of a bf is too much of a FACKING PUSSY to tell u in the face that hes actually free sometimes and not at work. He only left soonyoung bc he had to get to his shift. I higky wanna smack jun across the psific ocean.  _

 

_ Hoebag: he couldve com to C u or somethn u literly five mins away _

 

_ Haobag: i gtg _

 

Minghao stands up and suddenly rushes out the restaurant, weaving through the tables and apologizing to the workers he nearly runs into with his lanky body. The waiter that has is order calls out, “Sir, sir! Would like this to-” Minghao runs too quickly to hear the rest of his sentence.

 

He thinks really, really hard as he sprints his way back to the office building. The overwhelming need to vomit is starting to make his saliva warm and his eyes water. 

 

He  _ knows.  _

 

_ I’ve never said my name in front of him.  _

 

_ Jisoo didn’t either. _

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan paces around uncomfortably around his office. His footsteps echo around in his head and starts to make his eyes twitch around. 

 

His dad’s words ring around in his head, creating a dark song in his head. 

 

_ Hurry up and sign the damn papers, and if you can’t pick, I’ll do it for you. But this is going to happen. _

 

Whenever Jeonghan thinks of his dad, he can’t see a smiling, righteous business man that everyone thinks he is. 

 

His most prominent memory of him in his early life is his father pushing him down a flight of stairs and then telling him it was to “build strength and resistance.” He had broken his femur and wrist, bruised a rib, and had gained a concussion to add to his long list of premeditated injuries given to him by his dad. 

 

Jeonghan sees it as a murder attempt of the only son who survived through his first seven years of life successfully while being the child of a prostitute. 

 

Jeonghan’s glad his face is pretty. If it wasn’t, he’d be long dead. 

 

The memory makes his leg throb. He still can’t run very well and doing sports for a long time makes him tired. 

 

The door opens and Jisoo enters just as Jeonghan is about to let out a scream. Instead, Jeonghan bites down on his tongue and he feels his eyes water but the stinging keeps him from thinking about his dad. 

 

“Hey, Hannie, how are you? I have the reports from this week, so yeah. Just came to drop them off!” Jisoo darts around Jeonghan and dashes up to his desk, placing down a blue folder on the desk. 

 

“Alright. Are we still on for our dinner? It’s Thursday.”

 

Jeonghan jumps up a little, like he’s been startled. “Oh? It is? I’m sorry, I can’t today. Next week for sure, though.” Jisoo looks down at his hands and Jeonghan feels his stomach drop. “You should hurry and choose.”

 

Jeonghan frowns. “Why?”

 

Jisoo tilts his head and taps the thick manilla folder on the table. “It’s more important.”

 

Jisoo quickly makes his way out. “Wait, Jisoo, maybe you could help me?” It’s a really fucking dumb proposition but Jeonghan would swallow rotten wasabi at this point if it meant getting Jisoo to stay. He’s being weirdly flitty right now. 

 

Well, not  _ weirdly _ . Jeonghan had just told the love of his life about his  _ sexcapades _ , of course Jisoo would feel strange. Even though he didn’t  _ know _ he was the love of Jeonghan’s life, he was still his best friend. 

 

“Sorry, but I think it’s best for the both of us if I left. Bye, Jeonghan!” Jisoo’s voice is scratchy and pitchy and not the honey-silk voice he’s used to. 

 

Jisoo leaves with a quiet, final bye and Jeonghan wants to kick a trash can or something. 

 

“Why?” Jeonghan feels a hysteric laugh build in his throat. “I was asking why you were missing our dinner, you dummy.” 

 

Jeonghan tiredly throws himself into an armchair. 

 

_ You haven’t missed one of our Thursday dinners in ten years, Jisoo. What makes it different now? _

  
  


_ Is it really me? _

 

_ Am I really not anything anymore to you? _

 

Jeonghan hears Chan scream bloody murder and then Seokmin following shortly after from somewhere outside but his eyes close, too heavy to open again and his whole body is exhausted, sinking into the chair and letting the cold leather envelop his empty mind. 

 

If it isn’t Jisoo, Jeonghan doesn’t really find himself caring. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG u guys i feel like absolute shit for not posting yesterday, but I had to go to the hostpital :( 
> 
> Anyways i also feel like shit bc i didn't write about mingyu/wonwoo so like, im gonna write more about them next chapter.
> 
> also i just really felt like a lot of fics with multiple pairings like this one tend to draw out all of the ships so they all happen super slow but i just needed one couple to be happy. but you know, even though they're together now,..........????? mwah hahah and also OMG i KNOW IT SAYS FLUFF and im like trying but the softest these next few chapters will get is JiCheol or man idk maybe not ;) eheh
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos, they are always greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I feel like i have more to say but I cant remember. Anyways, I'VE GOT ANOTHER SVT FIC UP!! check it out if you guys like high school au's, bc i sure the hell do. i mostly made it to feed myself some content but maybe you guys will like it too!
> 
> Bye, see you next time i come back with an update!! stay happy and healthy as always!


	6. It's Really Just Chan Struggling: The Vacation, Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sjsjsjsj yeah

Wonwoo swallows a sigh and stares at the suitcase in his bag and wants to chuck it out the window. But there is no window because they’re outside at four in the morning in front of the company waiting for Minghao and Seokmin to arrive with the rented vans. Does a god really have it out for him? What the hell did he do wrong with his past life, with  _ this  _ life? 

 

_ Maybe I killed a king or something. Maybe I should just move to Iceland. I could get myself a cute little farm in the valley or something, read books for the rest of my life. And run a small little farm with a nice goat named JinJin or something. And grow veggies in the summer and buy a couple of chickens.  _

“Hansol, I’ll go out with you if you put my bags in the trunk, please!” Seungkwan runs after a Hansol who’s darting in between everyone. 

 

“No! Shoo, go away, you lazy butt!” Wonwoo turns to his left to avoid being mowed down by Hansol. 

 

Seungcheol thumps the space between his shoulder blades and Wonwoo’s frail, exercise-deprived body nearly snaps in half. Seungcheol snorts as Wonwoo shoots forward, and Satan must be blessing him or something because he wacks into Mingyu. 

 

“Woah there. You good?” Mingyu grabs Wonwoo’s arm and pushes him upright. Wonwoo colors. God fucking dammit. 

 

“S-sorry. It was Seungcheol.”

 

“Ah, okay. It’s fine.”

 

“Sorry again. I think I hit your arm.”

 

“No problem, it didn’t hurt at all.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Not to say that you’re weak! You know? But just, you didn’t land on me hard enough to hurt my arm.”

 

“Ah. I see. Sorry once again, though.”

 

“I’m fine with it! Totally fine, Wonwoo! You wanna punch my arm again? I swear I’m good. See, look!” Mingyu aims a fist for his upper arm and before he can swing, Seungcheol worms his wide body in between the two of them, separating Mingyu and Wonwoo. Wonwoo wants the ground to open up on him and bury him or something just so he never has to see Mingyu do  _ that _ ever again. 

 

“If I have to watch something that awkward ever again you guys may as well just pluck my eyes out for me.”

 

“Fucking losers.” Jeonghan smacks Wonwoo on the shoulder but way lighter than Seungcheol. “Get it your vans or whatever, you slow shits.”

 

“Why are you so  _ salty _ , Jeonghan. It’s four. Take a chill pill.”

 

Jeonghan closes his eyes and curls his fists up. He then opens his eyes slowly into a dramatic glare. “Don’t be fucking  _ dumb _ , Seungcheol. It’s  _ because _ it’s four.”

 

He walks away with a stomp and makes his way to Jisoo. Jisoo frowns a little but then when Jeonghan gets close he smiles brightly and starts talking. Wonwoo scoffs. 

 

Fake bitch. 

 

Wonwoo’s about to say something but it’s like Seungcheol can read his mind.

 

“Instead of starting to call Jeonghan out for being a hoe, let’s get in the car first, hmm?” Seungcheol nudges the back of Wonwoo’s knee and Wonwoo proceeds to follow Chan into the car Seokmin’s driving because he saw Mingyu get on the one that Minghao was driving and those two together for three hours meant that either someone would skin themselves or one of the two. 

 

Wonwoo sits in his seat before he realizes that he’s next to Chan, with Jisoo, Jeonghan, Hansol, and Seungkwan spread out in the back rows. Someone enters the rest of the car, and Wonwoo’s trapped by two bodies before he realizes that it’s Mingyu. 

 

Seokmin closes the sliding door with a press of a button up front and tells everyone to get comfy. Wonwoo’s about to ask if he can go sit shotgun but there are bags and bags and bags of food and chips and he knows Seokmin would rather boot his ass to China than to move his food further away from him. 

 

So without turning his head at all and keeping himself rigidly upright, Wonwoo tries to fall back asleep holding tears. 

 

Jeonghan makes some kind of dirty joke that it definitely for Jisoo and Wonwoo twitches. 

 

Seriously. He didn’t kill a king, he killed a god.  

 

-

-

  
  


Seungkwan finds the ride to be horrible. For the first two hours, it was silent, with Jeonghan and Wonwoo and Chan constantly dozing off while Seokmin drove along the surprisingly smooth road. Jisoo would occasionally jostle awake, look at a sleeping Jeonghan with sad looking eyes, and then turn around to the window. Hansol just kept his earbuds in the whole time, eating chips constantly. One bag would empty and then he’d just replace it with a new one. 

 

The next hour consisted of everyone giving up on trying to get a good amount of sleep in so Seokmin had turned on music but Seungkwan hated how loud it got. Hansol was still eating his chips but at a slower pace. 

 

“Sol, you’ve got to stop eating those. You went through like, a hundred bags already.”

 

Hansol looks up from the floor. “No, thank you. I’m good.”

 

“C’mon, Hansol, it’s unhealthy. Do you want me to peel you an orange?”

 

Hansol crumples up the top of his chip bag to close it. “No.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Hansol doesn’t say anything and Seungkwan listens in on background conversations while ignoring the clenching in his stomach. Was he okay? Was Hansol just tired?

 

“Jisoo, I’ve got a friend who’s single. He’s also pretty hot, do you wanna meet him? He’s looking for a boyfriend, not a fling, like you.” Seungkwan watches as Seokmin flicks his eyes to the rearview mirror to look at Jisoo.

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

“What! Hong Jisoo, you’re going to leave me? My God, how could you?” Jeonghan throws an arm over his head and lets out a gasp but Seungkwan's not dumb - everyone in the van isn’t dumb. Chan looks at his phone worriedly, but before Seungkwan can ask what’s wrong, Jisoo lets out a short laugh. 

 

“Ha, ha. But yeah, Seokmin, remind me to see a picture of him later.”

 

“Jisoo!” Mingyu’s the one to talk this time. “You can’t do that! You’re not supposed to! If you like someone, don’t just ignore your feelings for them, you have to keep trying! Ignore Seokmin, he’s just being dumb! Since you already have someone you like, you should just keep doing everything in your power to show them! It might take a while, and yeah, it might not even pay off, but still! Not in your case, we all know it’s going to!”

 

“And who would this person that Jisoo likes be, Mingyu.” Jeonghan says it protectively, the venom leaking into his voice slowly. 

 

Mingyu sucks in a deep breath. Seungkwan can see Wonwoo color and turn his body slightly away, like he’s trying to block Mingyu off. Jeonghan seems to freeze up, but then lets out a tiny sigh and pulls the thin blanket covering him further up his face so that only his eyes are visible. 

 

Seungkwan decides the atmosphere is too heavy. 

 

“Guess what, Hansol and I are going on a date! At the resort!”

 

Wonwoo’s head whips up. “You are? Finally, jeez.”

 

“We are?” Seungkwan watches happily as Hansol smiles, relieved that Hansol looks more alive. His cheeks are dusted with a light pink, like cherry blossoms or something. 

 

“Yeah! We’ve got to celebrate our friendship, and where else would you do it than on vacation, you know?”

 

The car seems to shut up; the silence that permeates the air is thick. 

 

“You’re going on a friendship date? Not a real one?” Chan peeks over the top of the headrest, turning around to face Seungkwan. 

 

“Oh, Chan, how could Hansol and I date?” Seungkwan taps Hansol’s knee once. “Right, Hansol?”

 

“Why not? You two like each other.”

 

Seungkwan almost lets out a laugh. 

 

_ Me? Like Hansol? Boo Seungkwan daring to like someone as fucking godly as Hansol? I’m lucky enough that he just fucks me, jeez. How could I ever like him? I’d get my heart broken in less than a second. _

 

“Right. But as  _ friends _ , Chan. It’s  _ obvious _ that Seungkwan couldn’t ever like me more than as friends. So yeah. We couldn’t date. Because apparently we can’t. Yeah. Whatever.”

 

“Yeah.” Seungkwan says it with a smile but he feels his brain start to crumble down. Really? Hansol really thinks of them like that? No room for romantic error, just straight up sex friends and that’s it? Seungkwan knew that he wouldn’t be able to get closer to Hansol but maybe,  _ maybe _ , it would be like those movies where things could work out. But maybe not, Seungkwan sighs. He’s been getting ahead of himself lately. 

 

Seungkwan pats Chan on the head and then curls up into a little ball, pulling the blankets around him tighter. The van is cold and Hansol refuses to cuddle him like usual.

 

-

-

  
  


As soon as Chan’s feet hit the floor, he screams out a loud “Hallelujah!” and jumps in the air. Riding in a van with a million love triangles was by far the most stressful experience he’s ever had. But his “Hallelujah!” quickly dies down into an “Oh shit”, because  _ imagine _ the love/confession/heartbreak shit that’s going to take place over four days.

 

There’s more to poor Chan’s stress than that. Xu Minghao takes the silver for adding onto the constantly growing ball of pressure in his head. 

 

Because apparently he got distracted and never ended up texting Jeonghan about the dare, which meant that Chan couldn’t do his part to get Jisoo with Jeonghan. Which meant that Seokmin and Mingyu couldn’t start planning out the wedding. And yeah. Everything was going great. Everything was on fire, but it’s fine.

 

“Hey guys, how was your trip? Also Seokmin, didn’t you say that Soonyoung was coming?” Minghao walks up to their small group in the parking lot. Chan likes the crunch of loose gravel under Minghao’s steps. 

 

“It was fine. It was so fine, hyung, that I’m sure three of us considered suicide. I was a little less dramatic, though. I only went as far as to think that getting hit by a deer was good enough for me.” Chan sarcastically smiles and holds up a ‘good job’ thumb. Minghao winces. 

 

“Ouch. Sorry, Chan, I really did forget.”

 

Chan rolls his eyes as far as they’ll go, and lets out a sigh. “Don’t worry. I think we can salvage something. Let’s just work on Wonwoo and Mingyu for know. They seem to be getting there.”

 

“Really?” Minghao lights up.  But Chan lets out a groan and covers his face with his hands. 

 

“Hyung, no! That’s why we have to work on them, keep up with the program!”

 

Minghao lets out a laugh and shoves his gloved hands into his pockets. “Okay, okay.”

 

“And with Seokmin hyung, he told us that Soonyoung had to come a day late because he had to finish filing his taxes. Who does that in this generation, anyway?” Chan wrinkles his nose and Minghao giggles. They start walking with their bags up the trail, following the rest of the group. 

 

Seungcheol motions with his arm when they get close and holds out two plastic wristbands. “Hey, you two, take these and put them on. We’re going up to the rooms right now.”

 

“How are we rooming?” Chan crosses his fingers that he’s alone. There’s no way he’d survive even one hour trying to sleep in the same room as  _ anyone _ here. 

 

“Right. It’s Jihoon and I in one room, Seokmin’s by himself, and Minghao and Jun are together. We’ve got the rest up for grabs. There’s four rooms left.”

 

“Well, obviously Jisoo and I.” Jeonghan pointedly grabs Jisoo’s elbow and yanks the poor man backwards. Chan silently sends out his eulogy for what he called the ‘Panty Plan’. Jisoo doesn’t object but Chan watches in silent amusement as his face flashes through confusion, then slight sadness, then settling on happiness. 

 

“I’ll take Hansol!”

 

“Why would I want you?”

 

“Fucking bitch!”

 

“Kidding.”

 

Seungkwan jumps turns his nose up as Hansol gives him a smile. Chan’s confused with the two, really. Their dynamics are different than anyone else in the group. They both act in love and yet they rant to Chan on ends of how unworthy they are of each other. Especially on Seungkwan’s end - his already shockingly low self-esteem takes a blow every single time Hansol jokes that they couldn’t be together but then Chan knows for a fact that Hansol cries himself to sleep wishing he could be with Seungkwan. 

 

Chan’s about to form a plan in his head to try and get them together when his arm is pulled. 

 

“I call Chan!”

 

“No, you can’t because I do!”

 

“I’m a social animal, I need people. Room by yourself!”

 

“Mingyu, I’m a human. And humans are all social animals.”

 

“Whatever. I get him!”

 

Chan’s about to laugh but then he decides to be a bitch about it. If Cupid isn’t going to do shit, then he is.

 

“I refuse to room with either of you. Mingyu hyung, no offense but I don’t need to walk in to see your daily one-night-stand and Wonwoo hyung, no offense, but like, I want a room to myself.”

 

“Channie’s right, poor baby. Imagine him walking into your masturbating session or something.” Jeonghan clicks his tongue and pats Chan on the head. Chan doesn’t bother the fact that he’s preening under Jeonghan’s sympathizing hums. It  _ would _ be pretty suckish to walk in on  _ anyone _ .

 

“God, I’m not some kind of sex fiend! Jeez! Who the fuck masturbates on vacation, you fucking sickos!”

 

Seungcheol claps his hands. “Okay, guys, shut up! Seungkwan, Hansol, you go in one room. The Jihan couple, in the other. Wonwoo, Mingyu, the next. And our God Chan gets his own. Now, can we go!”

 

Seungcheol wraps an arm around Jihoon and leans into his  _ ~boyfriend's~  _ face and kisses the tip of his nose. Jihoon doesn’t shove him away, just pushes his shoulders up and smiles. 

 

Chan’s going to make  _ everyone  _ like that by the end of the vacation. 

 

(Spoiler: He’s not.)

 

-

-

  
  


Jun sets his bag down quietly and starts to flit around the room, placing his clothes into the drawers and sorting out the food that needs to refrigerated. He places the chips on the table in a neat pyramid and the ramen on the side. Minghao cleans up the bathroom and Jun hears the quiet clattering of plastic containers hitting the marble countertop. 

 

It feels more domestic than Jun’s used to. Which says a lot to him, so he decides to plan out for the day what he’s going to do. He knows he needs to talk to Minghao - but doesn’t know how. 

 

_ Minghao always feels better when he’s full. He’ll probably want to talk, too. So maybe then. I’ll buy him something tasty _ .

 

Jun feels guilty. Is he trying to buy out Minghao right now with food or something? Buy him out of what? Neither of them did anything wrong, which made the whole thing even more confusing. No one had cheated, had lied, had done something they weren’t supposed to. So the gnawing feeling in his stomach makes Jun’s head hurt. 

 

“Hey, Jun, Seungcheol’s calling a meeting right now. Let’s go down to the cafe.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Jun bites his lip and reaches for Minghao’s hand. He ignores the little twitch that Minghao gives him and gently leads them out the door. In the reflection of the mirror next to the door, he sees out of the corner of his eyes that Minghao is smiling at their hands. 

 

Suddenly Jun can’t really remember what it was like to have Minghao touch any other part of him. He can see the pictures but there’s no  _ feeling _ behind them anymore. Once he’s in the elevator, he makes it a point to hold onto Minghao’s waist a little bit tighter than he normally would and Minghao leans his head against his shoulder. 

 

Minghao’s skinnier than he used to be, that much Jun can tell. 

 

Once they’re out and in the cafe, the two of them spot the rest of the group, with Hansol, Seungkwan, and Chan walking in together. Mingyu sits by himself facing the group, sprawled out lazily on the armchair, while Jihoon sits on Seungcheol’s lap even though there is a  _ glaringly _ big space next to him on the couch. 

 

“Jisoo. Touch my hair.”

 

Jeonghan takes a seat on the floor in front of Jisoo, shaking his head a little to get Jisoo to touch it. Jun nearly snorts when Jisoo smiles happily and starts stroking through it in drawn out movements. 

 

“What happened?” Chan decides to take the seat next to Seunghceol but leans away from him, as far away as he can get from the two. Jun remains standing and doesn’t allow Minghao to move away from his side, clutching his hand. 

 

He doesn’t miss the little eyebrow raise that Mingyu gives Minghao. Minghao just purses his lips in response. 

 

Jun places a little kiss on top of Minghao’s cheek. “You feel tense. Relax a little.”

 

“Okay.” But Minghao doesn’t do more than just slouch. Jun refrains from saying anything else, though. It doesn’t seem like his place to anymore. 

 

“Okay, guys, guys, shut up. Listen.” Seungcheol sighs. “Apparently, we didn’t take into consideration that none of us know how to snowboard. As in, within the twelve of us right now, no one knows how to go down a fucking mountain at breakneck speed whilst remaining attached to a thin piece of metal. So yeah. It’s too late to sign up for the daily three hour lessons offered so we’re going to have to wait until tomorrow.”

 

“Pussies. We could just try on our own, you know.” Jeonghan makes a ‘hmph’ noise and leans further into Jisoo’s touches. 

 

“Um hyung, excuse me, but are you trying to insinuate that vaginas are symbolic of cowards? Because if you want to discuss the social constructs of the word ‘pussy’, my days as a twitter feminist justice warrior are starting to come back, thank you very much.” Chan smacks a fist into a palm and makes a face that says ‘square up’ and Jeonghan laughs. 

 

“Yeah, okay. But guys, let’s do it!”

 

“Not the best idea you’ve ever come up with, Jeonghan. I really don’t think we could afford it to have one or more of land in the emergency room. Let’s keep it safe and wait for the lessons tomorrow and get a hang of it first. Today can just be a day to relax and explore the hotel and the nearby stores and stuff.” Seokmin says it with his usually honey-like voice and everyone nods along. 

 

Jun’s all for it. Maybe he can get Minghao alone and talk things out. 

 

“Okay. Can we meet at the bar by 7? I want to get some drinks but I don’t want to be hungover.” 

 

“Yeah, Jihoon, good idea. We can just also talk.”

 

“You know, I don’t know what it is with you and talking, Hansol. Really. But yes, I know, I really am amazing.”

 

“You suggested going to the bar early, hyung. Don’t push it.” Hansol fake glares at Jihoon, who sticks his tongue right back out. 

 

Jun glances at Minghao. Minghao seems to smiling at the general vicinity of the group but his eyes are glassy. They look empty.

 

-

-

  
  


Seokmin’s out at the cafe terrace outside, enjoying the silence. The cold air nips at his face a little but since he’s under an awning, it’s not that bad. His phone rings, so he quickly takes it out to take a look at it. 

 

_ Soonyoung: Hey, it’s me. I got here early to surprise you but I don’t see you in the lobby. Did you already leave to go boarding? _

 

Seokmin doesn’t bother to hold down his smile - it’s so big that he can barely see anything, shoulders hitching up and even his feet tap the floor quickly. 

 

_ Seokmin: Honestly _

 

_ Seokmin: I’m flattered _

 

_ Seokmin: but no we aren’t at the lobby because none of can board and we missed the sign ups for lessons. I’m on the cafe terrace, come out! _

 

_ Soonyoung: Gotcha. See you soon!!!! _

 

Seokmin has the rest of his cranes. He can see them in his head, in the hundreds, all colorful and in a big basket on the desk in his hotel room. He doesn’t know if he’s going to ask Soonyoung out today, or not, but it’s nice to see it as an option. 

 

There’s still something that nags at him, though. It pulls against his chest and hammers itself deep within the confines of the part of his brain that holds all of his fears. 

 

He spots Chan through the window and waves him over desperately.

 

“Hello, hyung! Boy, it’s cold out here. Shouldn’t you wait inside?”

 

“Eh. It’s fine.”

 

“Okay. Did you need something?”

 

“Uh. Yeah.” Seokmin bites his lip for a second. Would it be too much of him to ask Chan to do this for him?

 

“Hyung, are you okay? I’m here for you, you know.” Chan places a gloved hand on Seokmin’s shoulder, the weight comforting. Seokmin looks at Chan’s concerned face and gives him a little smile. 

 

“Can you ask Soonyoung if he’d be okay with dating a virgin? Someone who’s never even dated before?”

 

Seokmin braces himself for some shocked gasps or something, but all Chan does it purse his lips and nod with a determined face. 

 

“Yes. I’ll tell you the answer tonight.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem. This vacation is my mission.”

 

“To do what?”

 

Chan winks a little cryptically. “To play Cupid. Bye!”

 

Chan dashes off inside and Soonyoung steps in soon. 

 

“Soonyoung! God, I can’t believe you really came!” Soonyoung places a beanie on his head and sits down on the seat adjacent to Seokmin. 

 

“Of course I did, I had to keep my eye on something.”

 

“On me?” Seokmin cups his face and blinks exaggeratedly, puffing his cheeks out and trying to pull of his very best baby face. Soonyoung lets out a giggle and Seokmin melts into a little pile of human goop. 

 

“Of course.” Soonyoung smiles but Seokmin’s not stupid - it’s a worried one. 

 

Seokmin just prays it’s not because of him and offers to buy hot chocolate. 

 

-

-

 

The clock starts to inch closer and closer to six, which means that everyone’s starting to stop whatever they were doing before and rushing into their rooms to change for the bar. Jisoo doesn’t really know what’s wrong with going to the bar in slacks and a white dress shirt, but then Jeonghan had called him out. 

 

“Babe, the fact that you sat through a four hour drive here since four in the morning says a lot about you. Go put on skinny jeans or something.”

 

Jisoo had choked and then sputtered out a reply of how the fuck should he have known to bring  _ club _ clothes to a  _ ski _ vacation resort and then everyone had screamed, well, why wouldn't you? So Jisoo sits on the  _ very clearly the only bed in the room _ bed and waits for Jeonghan to come back with a pair of jeans. Wonwoo has the most similar build to him so Jeonghan had made it his personal mission to find him something. 

 

There’s a knock on the door and the Jeonghan comes in, tossing a balled up pair of ripped black skinny jeans onto him. Jeonghan roots around the drawer that he set up earlier for his own clothes. 

 

“For now, just keep on your shirt, I’ll do something to it. Pink or baby blue?” Jeonghan holds up to very light, very  _ see through _ shirts up, and Jisoo images being next to a Jeonghan wearing a very  _ see through _ baby pink shirt than then next to a Jeonghan in a very  _ see through  _ baby blue shirt. The blue one makes him blush so he decides that can’t be an option for today. If he’s swooning just thinking about it,  _ someone  _ else is bound to. 

 

“Pink. Go with pink. Pink.” Jisoo awkwardly licks his lips and fiddles with a frayed piece of thread from the jeans. “Yeah. Pink.”

 

“Okay.” Jeonghan starts to unbutton his pants when the panic rises. 

 

“No! No, no, you do that in the bathroom!” Jisoo drops the pants in his hands and walks over to Jeonghan, wrestling him into the bathroom. 

 

“Why, why! We always change in front of each other! I’ve seen you naked for over twenty years, Hong Jisoo, and trust me, there’s nothing to be-”

 

“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Go, change!” Jisoo makes squeaking noises as Jeonghan tries to fight his way out of Jisoo’s grip but then Jisoo succeeds in slamming the bathroom door shut and he lets out a sigh. 

 

Jisoo wants to laugh at himself or punch himself in the face, or maybe both. When he had seen that hickey on Jeonghan’s neck about a week ago, he had gotten some feeling of desperation, that he was going to be the one to do that next. But then for some reason, after hearing Jeonghan just so  _ casually _ talk about having sex recently had made him sick. 

 

He knew he loved Jeonghan. He had come to terms with that in like, high school. Maybe elementary. Maybe since they met when they were six.

 

But to think of giving every part of him to Jeonghan, his  _ body _ , made him confused. 

 

His heart, yes. It’s long into Jeonghan’s hands at this point. His mind, it’s already dedicated to love Jeonghan. His life, he’d give it up in less than a millisecond if it meant to protect Jeonghan. 

 

But his body?

 

Jeonghan was-

 

Jeonghan. 

 

Picky. 

 

Didn’t sleep casually with people unless they fit his standards. 

 

Could he fit them?

 

Jisoo sighs and finishes putting on the pants. When he turns around, Jeonghan steps out and brushes a hand through his hair. 

 

“Come here, let me fix your shirt.” Jisoo walks to Jeonghan, who’s got his arms outstretched. “Put your arms out.” Jeonghan works methodically with the fabric, tucking the front in so it doesn’t clump under the waistband, and opens up the first three buttons of the shirt. Jeonghan smiles at Jisoo. Jisoo would smile back, but their proximity means that he’s  _ this _ close to popping a boner so he stays still. 

 

“Do I look okay?” Jisoo’s hand instinctively reaches up to the undone buttons, not used to the exposed skin. 

 

“I mean, I’d fuck you.”

 

“Jeonghan.” Jisoo feels his face’s expression turn into one of discomfort, lips pointing downwards and eyebrows knitted together. Jeonghan lets out a small laugh and runs a hand through his hair again. Seriously. The hottest habit.

 

“Just kidding, Jisoo. I’d take you out first.”

 

“Only once?”

 

“For you? No, I’d do it multiple times. At really romantic places. And then once at home to watch a movie and then I can cuddle you a little bit. And the next time fuck you. You like that kind of stuff.”

 

Jisoo feels himself  _ melt _ . 

 

God, oh, dear  _ God _ , Jisoo finally gets a feeling of  _ determination _ . After twenty years of having nothing but  _ desperation _ , this new rush, this  _ growth _ , this  _ wanting _ , it just hits him in the face. 

 

He doesn’t care if Jeonghan’s dad wants him to adopt a kid with some random chaebol. Fine. Jisoo can do that. He can look through that stupid manilla folder and choose an adoption agency and help adopt a child. He wants a child eventually, anyways. (He doesn’t.) And then he can be the one to marry Jeonghan, not some fucking rich dick. If there needs to be a dramatic, crying, gut-wrenching moment between the two of them, okay. That’s great - there’s no great lovey-dovey k-drama without at least one of those.

 

“You good? You look a little bit constipated.”

 

“Yoon Jeonghan, I need to talk to you after this vacation.” Jisoo feels his eyes go a little wild and Jeonghan nods for a ‘yes’, eyebrows up in confusion. “And also, please marry me.”

 

“Sure.” Jeonghan grabs his phone from the charger and hands Jisoo his. “C’mon, we’ll be late.”

 

“Really? You really will?” Jeonghan turns around and gives him a grin. It’s sweet. 

 

“Of course, if that’s what you want. It’s your life, babe, I’m just living in it.”

 

Jeonghan probably thinks of it as a joke, but to Jisoo, the fact that Jeonghan answers within a second just drives it home for him. Also the fact that Jeonghan’s favorite nickname for Jisoo is ‘babe’ really does help with the whole heartbeat trouble. 

 

_ You know what? Who fucking cares if Jeonghan had sex with someone else. I got fucked like, three weeks ago, who am I to get upset! Yeah, whatever, I’m just gonna do this. _

 

Twenty years. Both twenty six years old, which meant they were reasonable to be thinking adults. 

 

Yeah. Jisoo’s gonna do this.

 

-

-

 

Soonyoung doesn’t really like alcohol. His tolerance isn’t even that high, but the only reason he doesn’t like it is because it tastes bad. But he came on this trip to relax and when Jun is near him, he can’t so he decides to sip on a weak cocktail that tastes a little too fruity for his liking. But then he keeps sipping it and changes his mind. It’s not that bad. It’s like Seokmin, too much at once, too much the first time, but then you get used to it. And then you want more of it. 

 

Someone taps his shoulder and Soonyoung turns to his right. Chan, he thinks, takes the seat next to him and stretches an arm out, leaning the side of his head against it. 

 

“Hello, I’m Lee Chan.”

 

“Hey, I’m Soonyoung.”

 

“So, are you dating Seokmin? I’m surprised.” Soonyoung flushes, nearly snorting his drink up his nose. He coughs a little. 

 

“What? No, well, I wouldn't be against it, but, for the time being, uh, yeah-”

 

“So no, you aren’t.” Chan pulls his arms behind his back and stretches. Soonyoung shakes his head. Why is he so intimidated by such a cute bean of a child? Soonyoung gets the feeling that if Chan could hear him call him cute inside his head, Chan wouldn’t hesitate to rip off his head with a pair of tongs. 

 

“Yeah. We aren’t.”

 

“Soonyoung-ssi?”

 

“Call me hyung, I don’t like formalities.” It’s true - Soonyoung doesn’t. But also he feels like Chan’s judging him for some reason and he doesn’t know why. 

 

“I’ll drop the formalities depending on your answer for the next question.” Chan takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Would you date a virgin? Who’s never dated before? Didn’t even have his first kiss, nothing at all?”

 

Soonyoung freezes. He somehow knows automatically that it’s Seokmin that Chan’s talking about. Chan seems to realize that Soonyoung’s guessed it and doesn’t deny anything.

 

“I - I-”

 

“Okay. You think about it, even though you’re pretty obvious about it. Bye, Soonyoung-ssi.”

 

Chan disappears quickly. Soonyoung gets up, pays for his drink, and starts to look around for Seokmin. It’s not hard - Seokmin’s on an armchair talking to Mingyu. 

 

Walking over, he clears his throat and clasps his hands together, trying to not fidget. 

 

“Hey, can I talk steal Seokmin away for a moment?”

 

“Of course, Soonyoung-ssi. Be my guest.” Mingyu’s brow raises and points to the terrace. It’s devoid of people, probably because of how cold it is. 

 

Seokmin gets up and gives him a strained smile. They start walking silently until they’re outside. It’s really, really cold - they’re only going to be able to talk for a couple of minutes before they need to get inside again. 

 

“So, I guess Chan wasn’t so subtle with it?”

 

Soonyoung’s eyes widen a little but he lets out a little chuckle. “Yeah. But-”

 

“Hey, it’s fine. I guess I wanted this vacation to just be for us to get to know each other better. I was just curious.”

 

Soonyoung can’t really figure out what to say so he just nods. “I’m - I’m sorry, Seokmin, but I don’t think that I can be that person for you. Your first. Everything. If, you know, anything.” The last word comes out breathy, like Soonyoung’s still struggling to believe it. A part of him still doesn’t want to. “It’s just a lot, you know? I think I’d keep thinking about it like a responsibility, Seokmin. And I don’t want to think that if we were together, I felt like I had a duty to something over anything else, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay, Soonyoung. Let’s go in, it’s cold.”

 

They head in. “Really, Seokmin, if it-”

 

“No, no, you don’t have to explain yourself further, Soonyoung. I guess we were just at different paces, is all. There’s nothing wrong with you or me.” Seokmin looks at the ground and he smiles a little. “Just different paces right now.”

 

Soonyoung doesn’t know what to say to that. Seokmin starts walking towards the lobby, so Soonyoung assumes that he’s heading upstairs. He stops by Wonwoo though, who’s sitting silently next to Minghao, Jun, and Mingyu. Seokmin whispers something to Wonwoo and he immediately gets up. 

 

Wonwoo rushes out, grabbing Seokmin’s wrist and tugging him along. 

 

Soonyoung can’t help but feel like he’s missing out on something big. Maybe he’s a little pissed that Wonwoo and Seokmin look like they have something to do together. 

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan wants to dance a little bit, but then Jisoo’s going to be at the bar all by himself and that means people are going to hit on him so Jeonghan sits in a way that indirectly would make other people assume,  _ hey, this person is my person, back off _ , and Jisoo doesn’t seem to mind. Jeonghan keeps and hand or leg or his head touching a part of Jisoo at all times, not even drinking so he doesn’t have to move. 

 

“Jeonghan, don’t you want to go dance? You always dance.”

 

“You’re not going to dance, are you?”

 

“No, you know I never.”

 

“Exactly. I’m staying here.”

 

“Okay.” Jisoo gives him his usual sugary-sweet smile and it makes him look like he’s  _ glowing _ . His hair looks a little bit messed up, his skin flushed a tiny bit pink, and the open buttons make his collar bones jut out. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he’d make a move. 

 

Multiple moves. 

 

Every move. 

 

Everything in the book, if it could be done, it would be done. 

 

“Jeonghan, you look pretty right now.” Jisoo lets out a little giggle. “You’re really pretty.”

 

Jeonghan gulps. It’s a different kind of voice than Jisoo’s other compliments.  _ What the fuck? _ Jisoo would  _ never _ say something like that so blatantly straightforward like that. Jeonghan eyes the drink in Jisoo’s hand. He was about to just brush it off as liquid courage or something but Jisoo’s had like, three sips of a martini. There’s no way he’s  _ drunk _ already. 

 

“What?”

 

“You’re pretty. I like your outfit. I’d say wear it more often but then other people would look so don’t.” Jisoo doesn’t look at him, just down at his drink. 

 

Is Jisoo trying to  _ flirt _ with him right now? Jeonghan’s brain is starting to fry itself - he’s confused but above all-

 

He’s happy. Jeonghan is  _ reveling _ in this moment right now. Even though he can’t tell if Jisoo’s trying to flirt or just being genuine. 

 

“Thank you, I feel hot.”

 

“Ha.” Jisoo’s face looks sex right now, in the dim light of the bar. The cold, dark blue lighting sets off his tan skin and black hair, making him look more feline, more untouchable, borderline dangerous. 

 

“What, am I not?” Jeonghan’s voice comes out as cocky but his heart his hammering wildly, faster than a million miles a minute. He doesn’t know what’s happening, what this  _ line _ the two of them seem to be keen on crossing, where it even lies at this point. 

 

“I never said you weren’t, Jeonghan. You are.”

 

Neither of them say anything. 

 

If the line they had drawn together was glaringly white and straight, Jisoo was now using his hands to spread it apart and break up the rigidity of it. He was smearing it everywhere, pushing into the boundaries that they had created. Jeonghan was staying still in his box but Jisoo’s dancing around him, taunting, pulling, teasing. 

 

The limits themselves were just mutually, silently agreed upon. Never voiced, never discussed, just there since the moment they met. 

 

But Jisoo suddenly takes Jeonghan’s hand and leads him out the bar, into the lobby. The elevator ride is quiet, Jisoo holding onto his arm and leaning back against the wall. Jeonghan decides it better to not question why Jisoo’s pulling the both of them into the direction of their rooms. Wherever Jisoo wants to go, he can follow. 

 

Once they’re inside, Jisoo flops down on the bed and pats the space next to him. 

 

“I feel funny. Lie down with me.”

 

Jeonghan complies. “You had me worried for a second, Jisoo. Did you just want to sleep early?”

 

“Yeah. And I fall asleep better when you’re here with me.” Jisoo latches onto Jeonghan’s side, nudging his head into the crook of his neck and sighing. Jeonghan's heartbeat is so loud that it’d be impossible for Jisoo to not hear it. He can’t bring himself to relax like they normally do. 

 

“Don’t fall asleep, Jisoo, change your pants at least. You’re going to lose circulation.”

 

Jisoo groans and the whole process of them brushing their teeth, changing, and getting ready for bed takes twenty minutes and the clock says it’s only 8:05 p.m. but Jeonghan’s bones feels like lead. 

 

“Come on, Jeonghan, I can’t sleep.”

 

“Alright. I’m coming.”

 

Jisoo is warm and soft and the blankets piled on top of them make Jeonghan sweat a tiny bit but God, Jisoo’s arms are around him so Jeonghan just pulls him in closer and puts a hand on Jisoo’s waist. 

It curves in a little bit and slots against his elbow perfectly it’s like it was made for Jeonghan. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God you guys, I'm so sorry, Sam accidentally said I'd update in one week but I meant two, and I didn't notice until like yesterday. But yeah, I'm back and better! I'm also in America again, so figuring out when to post is going to be so much freaking easier. Thank you guys so much for your cute ass comments, I was elated off my ass. It really did help out the stupid weekend at the hospital feel better. 
> 
> I'm posting a chapter for Drowning In You tomorrow, if anyone reads any of the other fics. I'm going to push myself to finish up at least two fics this summer, so expect a lot of updates from now one! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter even though I'm kind of pissed at how little I could actually edit this. But oh well. I'm planning on making his vacation a four part thing because we all love drama and I need relationships to start developing. BRB Jihan has be sobbing on the floor. 
> 
> See you guys next time and thank you so much for the kudos and comments, they're all appreciated and loved. 
> 
> Stay happy and healthy like always!!!


	7. Pt. II: It Snowballs From Here (pun intended)

“Does damage repair shampoo also repair the physical state of a person?” Chan snorts at Seungkwan. 

 

“You took that off of Tumblr, you unoriginal hoe.”

 

“Don’t talk to your hyung like that!” Seungkwan sticks his tongue out a falls to the snow covered hill, groaning when he lands. He flips over onto his stomach, making his “backwards snow angels”. They’re funny because it’s pointless. Hansol takes the chance to slap Seungkwan’s ass. 

 

Anyways, what was supposed to be the day Chan started putting people together, it had become a curse/bruise/love/hate/passive-aggressive fighting/tear filled day.

 

The boarding lessons had gone less than ideal. 

 

For starters, Jeonghan was the only one who could do it. Even after all his gloating and bragging that it would be easy, karma didn’t take its chance to punch him and Jeonghan all but excelled at it as a beginner. Jisoo probably could do it fine as well, in Chan’s opinion, but he took his chance and fell constantly just so Jeonghan would be too nervous to leave his side. A cheap, yet smart move. It was like Chan’s lunch. Tasteful yet something he’d never try again. (Why would you get offered sashimi at a ski resort just blew his mind.)

 

Minghao’s skinny body was undoubtedly beyond bruised. He walked up the hill with a constant limp and Jun wasn’t really in a better state. He had taken a brutal hit, when Minghao slipped and brought his board (and connected body) straight on top of him. It was funny, but Chan couldn’t find the right time to get in between the couple long enough to try and fix their shit. But after seeing the two of them roll around laughing in the snow, Chan decided to step this one out. They had their own Cupid. (Hopefully.)

 

Wonwoo and Hansol weren’t actually that bad. Chan deems Wonwoo’s ability one to be something that Satan gave him when he was being birthed through Lucifer’s ass and Hansol’s was because of the ‘American’ air he had grown up in. Obviously, New York had some magical properties that Korea just didn't have. Hansol had threatened to sue but then Seungkwan said ‘I’ll be your boyfriend if you push me down the hill on my board’ and Hansol disappeared in a second only to show up next to Seungkwan. Hansol had scoffed and rolled his eyes but did it nonetheless. Fucking whipped. 

 

Mingyu was nothing short of a shitshow. Crashing and burning every second, he couldn’t stay upright on his board for more than a millisecond. His arms and knees took the brunt of the falls. Chan couldn’t sympathize but his poor butt could. It was like watching those giant blow up things at car washes dance around on a snowboard trying to get down a mountain. 

 

Seungkwan himself struggled horrendously, depending on Seokmin to keep him upright. Except Seokmin could barely hold himself up so it was like watching baby deer trying to stand for the first time. Hansol glared at Seokmin a lot. (At one point he sent his board hurtling into the teacher because he had looked at Seungkwan’s butt. He hadn’t. There was a dead leaf that had somehow managed to get stuck in his zipper. On his chest. Not his butt. On the wrong hemisphere of his butt. But Hansol digressed.)

 

Seungcheol’s results shocked Chan the most. Even if the other members looked like they sucked (they did), Chan didn’t really expect Seungcheol to be unable to learn. Being the gym freak (protein powder clings onto him like glue, following him like fine powder), Chan thought that Seungcheol would catch on quick. But he gives up on boarding two hours in, because he’s just that unimaginably shitty. Jihoon dutifully cheered him on but Seungcheol stopped before he threw up again. 

 

Chan doesn’t really care about Soonyoung right now. And Jihoon refused to try from the start. Chan sees him waving at everyone from the terrace of the cafe leading to the slopes, face red and red scarf wrapped around him. Chan waves back. 

 

Chan trudges up a little bit on the hill, waddling along the snow to try and avoid other skiers and boarders who are zipping down right now. He sees Seokmin nearby and decides to plop down, knees giving in. 

 

“Hey, hyung. What’s up?”

 

“The sky.”

 

Seokmin gives him a smile. Chan resists the urge to shove his hyung’s face into a snowboard. 

 

“Okay, no. Anyways, I’m talking about Soonyoung.”

 

“Right.” Seokmin puts his boots into the board’s clasps and gets himself situated. “I think I’m gonna lose my virginity.”

 

“You’re already dating him? Wow, you work fast.”

 

Seokmin giggles. Chan’s sixth sense starts to tingle. The Cupid in him is telling him something’s wrong. 

 

“No, no. I don’t think it’s going to work until I have at least some experience. So I guess I’m gonna find someone to take my virginity.”

 

“Like a one-night stand? Because I wouldn’t recommend that.”

 

“No, as in, I asked Wonwoo to have sex with me once just so I could get it over with.”

 

“Again, I wouldn’t recommend that.” Chan feels his eyes bug out of his head but Seokmin leans back on his elbows. 

 

Chan groans. “No, no, you’re not supposed to do that! You can’t just find some random for your first time, hyung, it’s more than that! Wouldn’t you feel guilty to yourself if you actually went through with this, lost your virginity, and then ended up dating Soonyoung? If it were me, I’d feel pretty damn weird about going through all of that just to date him. Why don’t you just find someone else that you’re really ready for? If Soonyoung can’t be that person for you, maybe it wasn’t really meant to work out.”

 

Seokmin doesn’t talk for a little bit, but Chan stays because he knows he’s going to. They always start talking after pausing for a while. Chan doesn’t know who ‘they’ is but there is one. 

 

“My virginity isn’t mine because I want it, Chan. It’s not that I treasure it and I’ll only have sex with the love of my life or something. It’s just that I’ve never found anyone that I’d want to do it with. Sure, I’ve had chances, but I never wanted them. I never felt like I was obligated or was missing out. Soonyoung’s the first person to make me feel like I’ve really missed out on something. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin because of some other reason, but for me, it’s just because I’ve never been close to anyone enough.”

 

Chan nods. He gets it. Well, not totally, but mostly. It’s up to him at the end of the day to deem how important it is to him. And Chan’s going to be 100% supportive if he reveres it or doesn’t care about it. 

 

It must be hard on Seokmin, too. That Soonyoung is struggling to think of his virginity as just something he has rather than an obstacle. 

 

That’s not to say that he thinks Soonyoung is in the wrong, either. Being someone’s complete first isn’t really a light thing when you’re a full grown adult who’s already had that experience, if not multiple. 

 

“Alright. And by the way, if Wonwoo makes you feel safe enough to do that with, then go for it if both of you think it’s okay.”

 

“Thanks, Chan. I have to get the okay from Wonwoo, anyways. God.”

 

Chan nods and stands up. He drops his board and it goes hurtling to the bottom of the mountain. This way, he doesn’t have to ride it down. He sees Jisoo stare at Jeonghan talking animatedly about something from close by. Not having the energy to talk to either of them about feelings, he makes his way to Jisoo and shoves him hard enough that he lands on top of Jisoo. 

 

Neither of them yell at Chan. 

 

-

-

 

“Seokmin, you can’t just pretend like you didn’t ask me to take your virginity yesterday!“

 

Wonwoo sits with his legs crossed on the bed, arms folded over a pillow. Seokmin swirls around on the chair. 

 

It’s after dinner and Wonwoo dragged him up the stairs to get him alone. Wonwoo kind of wishes he had taken some drinks in before, though. He’s sweating. 

 

“Yeah, and I’m not.”

 

“Okay, good. And tell me why Chan knows?”

 

He’s not annoyed that Chan knows. He has no doubt that Chan would keep quiet about it, but still, how could Seokmin just blurt it out? It wasn’t final, it wasn’t even something that Wonwoo  _ considered _ until thirty seconds ago. He really thought that Seokmin was a little drunk last night, anyways. 

 

“I don’t know. Sorry. But since I’m getting interrogated here, I’m guessing that your answer is going to be no. But thank you Wonwoo, for not making me feel stupid for asking.”

 

Seokmin starts to stand up. 

 

Wonwoo doesn’t understand why he’s reach for Seokmin but he does. Seokmin looks surprised to be pushed onto the bed in front of Wonwoo. 

 

“I-I never said that, Seokmin. Just - just tell me why you want  _ me _ to do it. Why’d you ask me?”

 

Seokmin groans and buries his head into his hands. “God, this is so  _ stupid _ . I’m fucking dumb, Wonwoo, I’m sorry for dragging you into this. God, I don’t know what to do-”

 

Wonwoo can already see Seokmin starting to hyperventilate so he reaches over and pulls him into a hug. Seokmin closes his eyes. 

 

“It’s fine, Seokmin. You’re not stupid. It’s not stupid to want to lose your virginity to a friend because you want to feels more comfortable, okay? And you didn’t drag me into anything, Seokmin. I never blamed you for anything, right?”

 

Seokmin opens his eyes but they still look down. 

 

“No. Thank you, Wonwoo.” Seokmin buries himself deeper into Wonwoo’s side. “I chose you because of obvious reasons, by the way.”

 

Wonwoo can’t help but let out a laugh. “And what would those reasons be?”

 

Seokmin relaxes a little. “Well, obviously, Jeonghan, Jisoo, Jun, Minghao Jihoon, and Seungcheol are out. Plus, Hansol would probably be dining on my insides right now if I tried to make a move on Seungkwan.”

 

Seokmin and Wonwoo both momentarily pause to shiver. Just imagining what Hansol would do to someone trying to hit on Seungkwan has them sending a quick prayer up to Jesus. 

 

“Well, what about Mingyu?”

 

“Wonwoo, if he lied to you about having sex with his asexual friend because he wanted you jealous, I don’t think he’s in a state to be with  _ anyone _ . Plus, you’re the only one who’s sane.”

 

Wonwoo’s about to butt in about the jealousy thing but drops it. He doesn’t want to dwell on that shitshow. If it ever even was a show. (Except for Jeonghan, he probably ate some mental popcorn that day.)

 

“Sane? I don’t think any of us could be described as that.”

 

Seokmin lets out a wet laugh. “You’re right.” Seokmin untangles himself from Wonwoo and stands up to stretch his arms. “I love that.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“I’ll be on my way now, Wonwoo, I want to sleep early. The bruises on my body are starting to turn into unnaturally fluorescent shades of purple.”

 

“Alright. And come after dinner tomorrow, Seokmin. To talk more, whether you want to go through with this for real or not.”

 

“You - you would be willing to?”

 

“It’s okay with me, Seokmin. As long as you feel safe about it.” Wonwoo smiles. He means it. He’s got no issue with it because he knows that he could never end up liking Seokmin and Seokmin’s not doing this for him. 

 

“Thank you, Wonwoo.”

 

“No problem.”

 

-

-

 

Minghao sits in front of Jun, unsure of where to start. He can’t stop crying, the tears running down his face. It’s too hot in the room right now, a choking feeling rising in his throat. There’s a cloud of fury, of sadness, of confusion that wraps around Minghao. 

 

“Minghao, please, if you could just hear-”

 

“No! Shut up, Jun, shut up!” Minghao has to suppress the urge to scream into his pillow. Jun has no say in what he does next. Maybe Minghao should do something dramatic. Like flip over the desk. 

 

But the desk is thick mahogany and he can’t really lift more than like, fifty pounds without a spotter so he settles for angrily throwing the pillow in his hand against the wall. 

 

“Minghao, it’s not what you th-”

 

“It is what I think, Jun! You were going to  _ kiss _ him if I didn’t come in that moment! Fuck you, Jun! Fuck you! If you wanted-” His throat constricts. “If you wanted to kiss someone else you need to break up with your boyfriend first!”

 

“I wasn’t trying to kiss him! I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me, I tried to tell him off! It’s not my fault, I didn’t do anything to him! You’re misunderstanding the situation, Minghao. Why would I kiss anyone else?”

 

Minghao’s pissed. 

 

Yeah, sure he could misunderstand the situation. Jun’s story did make more sense, anyways. Minghao had went to the bar to get two martinis when he came back to Jun trying to push off a semi-drunk guy off of him. 

 

“I know, I know! But let me be fucking angry, Jun! Fuck you!”

 

Minghao feels like his whole world is crumbling underneath him. He knew something was bound to happen between the two of them sooner or later but he had foolishly hoped they got to talking before it happened. His anger is irrational but at the same time it’s not surprising. 

 

Minghao just decides to kiss Jun. Maybe he can distract himself, pretend like something’s in front of him to hold. He lunges for Jun, grabbing the back of his neck and pressing their lips together. Minghao sucks and licks hungrily, with Jun swiping his tears off of his lips. He wants to do  _ something _ , even if it’s by force. He can force himself to do that much, right? 

 

“Minghao, Minghao, stop!”

 

But he can’t. 

 

He tries to push himself closer to Jun, push himself against his lap or stomach or chest or whatever, he doesn’t know.. Jun stumbles backwards onto the chair and Minghao just seats himself on Jun’s lap, literally rutting himself against his boyfriend’s knee. 

 

He wants to feel something, anything, a tiny little shred of anything. Lust? Sure. Maybe he wants to force himself to be hard. Comfort, is what he’s looking for. A feeling of safety, a feeling of being able to be fine. Kissing Jun harder, he feels his lips start to hurt. 

 

“Minghao, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Jun finally grabs Minghao’s arms and wrestles them down. Minghao just starts sobbing harder. 

 

“Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I get hard, Jun? Shouldn’t kissing you or something make me want you? Why can’t I get hard?”

 

Minghao feels himself sinking into a hole of desperation. Like he’s losing himself. Jun’s been with him since high school. After twelve years, it’s like a punch to the face to think that maybe they need to stop for a little. Like reality is finally starting to become, well,  _ real _ for them after over a decade of fantasy. 

 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Minghao.”

 

There’s a little break in noise while Minghao calms himself down and Jun runs his hands through his hair, pressing his fingertips into his scalp that makes Minghao involuntarily smile. But what needs to be said needs to be said. 

 

“I want to take a break, Jun.” It comes out robotically. Because Minghao doesn’t want to believe but it has to happen. It scares the fuck out of him. Most people don’t come back after breaks. 

 

“Minghao-”

 

Minghao’s tired. He drops his head onto Jun’s shoulder. The front of his shirt is soaked with Minghao’s tears. 

 

Neither of them talk for at least five minutes. The silence really is deafening.

 

“Jun, let’s take a break. We’ll make it, right?”

 

Jun sighs. He starts to rub Minghao’s back. He doesn’t answer him for a while. “Yeah. We will. I love you, Minghao.”

 

“God, I fucking love you so much, Jun.”

 

“I love you so much that it hurts.”

 

“Jun, you’ll never leave me, right?”

 

“No.”

 

-

-

 

Hansol doesn’t know whether he wants to throw his drink at Seungkwan or at the little whore flirting up a storm  _ with _ Seungkwan. 

 

“So no boyfriend, right?”

 

_ Yes. He does. Well, not right now, but soon. _ Hansol frowns. 

 

Seungkwan smiles shyly at his drink. “Nope.”  _ Ungrateful bitch. Actually, no, you’re not. But I’m going to be your fucking boyfriend, Seungkwan. Hmph. _

 

“Great. I’m Minseok.”

 

“Seungkwan.”

 

Hansol scoffs and rolls his eyes. Seungkwan shoots him a look. So does  _ Minseok _ .

 

“Is there a problem?”

 

“Hmm? No.” Hansol gives the guy a fake smile and downs his glass in one shot. 

 

Minseok looks like a cat. Not in the way Jisoo does, though. Jisoo’s like one of those house cats that cost a gazillion dollars to buy and have sleek, black fur. They only eat expensive salmon that doesn’t come from a can and has green eyes that bores into your soul.

 

Minseok says something and Seungkwan giggles. 

 

Yeah. Minseok would be like one of those cats you find on the street because they’re dirty and only want to trick people into giving them food with their pretty smile. He’s not even that pretty. Seungkwan’s going to be crushed when he finds out this guy is a bottom. 

 

Okay well, he doesn’t know for sure but whatever, Hansol’s better. 

 

But then Minseok lifts his arms to call the bartender over and his biceps bulge and his shirt tightens around his torso and Hansol has to stop eating his grapes because he’s about to choke. 

 

Whatever. His muscles are hotter. If he had any, they would be. (He has a little. It’d be sad to call them muscles next to this guy, though.)

 

Hansol decides that he doesn’t really want to stick around to watch someone who is most definitely some kind of sugar daddy flirt with Seungkwan, so he pats Seungkwan’s shoulder once and leaves. He sees Mingyu lingering around near the terrace so he decides to join. 

 

“Hey Sol. I see you’ve finally walked away from that love storm.” Hansol and Mingyu both make a face. “Please kill me if I ever say that again. Anyways, guess we both suck, huh?”

 

Hansol scoffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, You’re the only one that does.”

 

“Yeah, thank you for ignoring that you’re Seungkwan’s sex partner. Friends with benefits. Sex friends. Friends who fuck. Sex relation-”

 

“Shut up, Mingyu. We aren’t talking about this. And I’m not.”

 

“Fine, fine.”

 

Hansol holds back a blush. His mind wandered off for a second and painted the oh-so-delightful image of Seungkwan under him, writhing, crying-

 

He snaps himself out of it. 

 

“Anyways, you look like a lonely tree. How come you aren’t with Wonwoo?”

 

“I don’t know, do I need to be with him every moment of my life?” There’s an annoyed scowl on Mingyu’s face that vaguely reminds Hansol of a grenade. He could explode any moment, really. 

 

“No, but I know you were going to try and talk to him one day in this vacation.”

 

“Yeah, well, he’s dead.” 

 

“What’d he do?”

 

“Not like that kind of dead, Sol, I mean, he’s not  _ here _ , obviously. I don’t know where he is, he went off with Seokmin somewhere. They’ve been buddy-buddy since last night, I guess.” The same glower re-appears on Mingyu’s face. “Too bad Seokmin makes it really hard to be angry at him or else I would’ve booted his ass for taking time with Wonwoo away from me.”

 

Something starts tickling the back of Hansol’s head. He  _ swears _ he heard Seokmin say something on the way out of the bar, when he was zipping past Hansol. Wonwoo had screamed out something that Hansol assumed was a joke but hearing Mingyu say that he saw the two of them leave made him more concerned. 

 

He should keep it to himself.

 

Really. He should. 

 

But he’s a twenty-four year old kid who doesn’t know when to talk and when to talk so he blabs. 

 

“I’m pretty sure they’re going to fuck.”

 

Mingyu laughs. “Okay.”

 

Hansol really, really knows that he should stop. He knows that he’s overstepping his boundaries with something the neither of them can confirm, but he feels like he needs to continue. 

 

“No, for real, when Wonwoo and Seokmin walked past us, I heard Wonwoo say, bro, I love you and all, but I’m not going to fuck you. And then Seokmin started whining so naturally, I tuned out.”

 

“What. _What._ _What!_ ” There’s a certain panic in Mingyu’s voice. 

 

“Wait, Mingyu, I don’t even know if it’s true!”

 

“You’re right. It’s a joke. It’s a joke. It’s a total joke between Wonwoo and the person who has a big, fat, crush on Soonyoung who also happens to be uncomfortable with the fact that Seokmin’s a virgin so Seokmin’s probably planning on how to lose his virginity fucking hell! How is this a joke, oh my God! Thanks, Hansol! I feel so much fucking better!”

 

Mingyu’s wailing right now. Hansol doesn’t really know how to calm him down. 

 

But he attempts it with half-assed humour, as always. 

 

“Have you seen Seokmin and Soonyoung, there’s no way Seokmin’s a top.”

 

“What does that mean!”

 

“It  _ means _ , we all know Wonwoo wouldn’t put his dick into anything for a million bucks, so how are they going to fuck?”

 

Mingyu inhales. “You know what? I don’t care.” He fists his hands and Hansol takes a tiny step back just in case he feels like swinging. “It’s fine. It’s none of my business. Who cares if the love of my life for the past forever years working here has sex with another co-worker? It’s not anything I can do something about, because they are two mature adults who do their own shit.”

 

Hansol wants to let out a wince or something. “Right.”

 

“Whatever. I’m getting drunk. I can’t even snowboard anyways, fuck it.”

 

Hansol turns to look at the bar that Mingyu’s storming to and sees Seungkwan laugh. He can tell it’s real because his eyes are crescents that look like little half moons and his gums are showing, and his small hands are clapping and his neck is thrown back and his hair is falling down his face and the thin sheen of sweat on his face makes it look like he’s glowing under the blue lights of the dim bar. 

 

Hansol decides to fuck it all tonight. He’s already fucked something up with Mingyu, might as well take it all the way. 

 

He stomps over to Seungwan, who’s still with stupid  _ Minseok _ . 

 

“Sorry sir, but I’m going to to have to steal Seungkwan away for now.”

 

Ignoring the way both of their eyes widen, he takes a stammering Seungkwan’s wrist and pulls him off the seat and starts dragging him to the elevator. He doesn’t let go until both of them are inside, with Seungkwan cursing him out like a trucker. 

 

“What the fuck, Hansol, let go, it hurts!”

 

Hansol lets go. 

 

“What the fuck was that, Hansol, why’d you do that! Minseok was nice!”

 

“You were going to have sex with him!”

 

Hansol crignes. It sounds like an insult. 

 

Seungkwan looks beyond angry, with his hands wringing out in front of him and his eyes narrowed. Hansol knows that if he were a dog, he’d be growling or something right now. “ So what, Hansol? I can’t fuck other people? It’s vacation.”

 

“No, you can’t!”  _ Only me.  _

 

Hansol can’t stop the childish whine from climbing up his throat.

 

“ _ What? _ ”

 

“You can’t! You can’t, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t!” 

 

It’s really not his fault that he starts crying. Hansol just can’t help it, imagining Minseok screwing Seungkwan or just the fact that Seungkwan would feel good because of someone else. 

 

Seungkwan sighs and grabs Hansol, pulling him into a hug. Hansol sobs like a little bitch, making weird choking noises and wobbling around because he can’t breathe or see. The elevator dings and Seungkwan walks the two of them into their room, which is thankfully only a couple of doors down from the elevator. 

 

Hansol feels himself getting dumped onto a bed. Seungkwan throws himself next to Hansol, sighing again. 

 

“Stop crying, Hansol, what’s wrong?”

 

“I - I - I-”

 

“You know what? Just calm down first, ‘kay?” 

Hansol nods and sniffles, trying to clear the last of his tears out of his voice and wipes his face with his sleeves. The cashmere feels soft. 

 

“Seungkwan?”

 

“Yes, Hansol?”

 

“Would it be selfish of me to want us to be exclusive?”

 

“What?”

 

“I want to be your only sex partner.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. I mean it.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Does that make me selfish?”

 

“No, Hansol, it doesn’t.”

 

“Then what does it make me, Seungkwan, I feel so bad for asking that of you.”

 

“It makes you human, Hansol. And I don’t mind the proposal, really.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Hansol turns around and pushes Seungkwan's shoulders into the bed and presses a kiss into Seungkwan’s forehead. 

 

Seungkwan makes a little mewling sound and stretches his neck out, inviting Hansol to lick it, kiss it, suck it, whatever he wants. 

 

Hansol does what he needs to, pushing himself onto Seungkwan closer and pulling their clothes off steadily. 

 

God, there’s no way Hansol could ever share. 

 

-

-

 

Jisoo feels nervous in front of Jeonghan. Watching movies while cuddling hasn’t ever been weird for them but the point is that Jisoo is trying to. Maybe one of them will confess one day. If Jeonghan even likes him. 

 

“Jisoo, stop moving around so much.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Why’d you pick a scary movie, anyways? I know you don’t like them.”

 

Jisoo finally gives up on trying to watch the movie and turns over, burying himself into Jeonghan’s chest. He takes in a deep breath. “Yeah, I don’t know. I want to get over it, it’s a dumb fear.”

 

Jeonghan just wraps an arm tightly around his waist. “It’s not dumb. Here, look, I put on Nemo! You like that, don’t you?”

 

Jisoo peaks up from his little cocoon of Jeonghan and he’s met with two clownfishes talking in a reef or something. Jisoo can’t help but smile. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Mhmm.” Jeonghan steadily runs a hand through Jisoo’s hair, softly and pressing his fingers into his scalp once in a while like a massage.

 

“Jeonghan?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Jisoo bites his tongue. He doesn’t want to ruin the soft atmosphere right now. “Nevermind.”

 

“What is it, Soo?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

They go back to watching the movie, but Jisoo can feel Jeonghan growing more tired. After five hours of being on the slopes, everyone’s been pretty slow in terms of movement and brain activity. 

 

But his question still nags at him so Jisoo decides to just ask it. 

 

“Jeonghan?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do I ever annoy you?”

 

There’s a little pause. Jisoo holds his breath because he wants a truthful answer. Does Jeonghan ever feel like Jisoo’s a burden. 

 

“Yeah, sometimes.”

 

_ Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. _

 

“Why? When?” It’s a fight to keep his voice steady. 

 

“It frustrates me that sometimes you keep things to yourself, Jisoo. And you expect me to tell you everything but you feel like I’ll get bored when you want to do the same. It’s annoying when you think you can’t tell me things.” Jeonghan turns his head a little and looks at Jisoo. His thin glasses reflect  the TV screen. “I know when you feel sad and angry but then you pretend like you are. You’re not obligated to feel like you need to be this perfect person, Jisoo. I get upset when you don’t tell me things.”

 

“But my problems are never as important as yours. You’re looking for a kid to adopt, I’m looking for the next famous restaurant to try.”

 

Jisoo doesn’t know why but he feels tears coming in. 

 

“Yeah, so what? You’re going to help me choose an agency and I’ll go to the next restaurant with you. Who cares? You can’t expect people to have the same issues if they’re friends.”

 

_ Fuck, the waterworks. _

 

Jeonghan just holds Jisoo while he cries. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jeonghan. I don’t know-”

 

“It’s fine to not. Shhh....”

 

Jisoo feels his body start to give in to the aches of today and he feels sleepy. 

 

“Can you tuck me in?”

 

Jeonghan giggles. “Of course.” He laughs again as he rearranges the blankets and Jisoo’s body on the bed. 

 

Jeonghan finishes tucking him in and pats the mattress. “I’m tired.” Jeonghan settles himself next to Jisoo. 

 

“Jeonghan?”

 

“Yes?” Jeonghan turns off the light on the nightstand, making the whole room go dark. 

 

“Can I have a forehead kiss?”

 

“Of course.” Jeonghan gives him one and puts his arm around Jisoo’s waist. “You’re like my boyfriend or baby, I can’t tell. I didn’t know you were this soft, Hong Jisoo.”

 

“I prefer the first. But the second’s fine.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. And if you kiss Wonwoo, or anyone else on the forehead besides me, I’m going to murder you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You’re fine with that burden?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Jisoo feels Jeonghan shift and then something presses into his forehead again. 

 

Jeonghan laughs for real and settles in the bed again. It's muffled, the sound of Jisoo's heart dancing and thrumming in his chest washing over his ears and making his eyes blow up. His breathing is hard to control, and he wants to throw himself onto Jeonghan and do something. But there's a bigger plan in mind so he swallows in a breath. 

 

“For good luck.”

 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's like zero plot in this but oh well the next one's a real banger. Heehee. And unfortunately, I'm pretty freaking busy in the summer, because I got a job as a tutor. So that means checking kid's work and stuff, which makes me too tired to write. Also kids make me tired. Hopefully, we'll get some traction going. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, hits, whatever it is!!! 
> 
> I'll keep the notes short for this chapter, I hope everyone stays happy and healthy! Wear sunscreen because not doing it means future skin cancer (yes i'm one of those sunscreen lovers) and get some vitamin D!!! 
> 
> Stay tuned in two weeks for another post!


	8. In a Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting on friday i was gone during the weekend for vacation!

Jun’s feet feel heavy as he walk into his house, slipping off of his shoes and dragging his legs to the couch. His breath gets knocked out a little when he lets himself drop onto the couch with a big  _ thump _ . Jun feels like concrete’s being poured into his veins, dripping into him slowly and hardening. 

 

He had come home a day earlier than everyone else. Above everything, it wasn’t fair to Minghao to take away the one break during his year that he actually enjoyed. 

 

Also, he didn’t know how he was going to face everyone else. 

 

They wouldn’t have said anything to his face, but there would have been disappointment, annoyance, disdain, all swimming in their eyes. 

 

Knowing that Minghao isn’t  _ his _ anymore does a strange number on his body. 

 

In some unspeakable way, he feels lighter. At least they managed to stop before the cracks became too big to plaster back. Now, time would only tell. 

 

“This is okay. This is fine. You’re going to be okay. You’re  _ both _ going to be fine.”

 

It’s Jun’s mantra right now. He says it out loud, he repeats it inside of his head. He lets it echo around his brain as he shuffles around the house, taking in what he’s missed. 

 

Jun stares at the bed and thinks,  _ what are we going to do about the living situations? _

 

He doesn’t think it’s going to change - they can be roomates, right? 

 

Roomates who used to date but are still in love and aren’t exactly broken up but can still do things with others because it’s a mutual break and yet they still miss each other. 

 

Right. 

 

Okay. 

 

Jun can work with that. 

 

He quickly strips off his clothes, changes, and crawls tiredly into bed. The sheets are clean and the overwhelmingly soft scent of Minghao’s cologne engulfs his mind, making him cry a tiny little bit as his body shuts down. 

 

Jun can work with this much, at least. 

 

-

-

 

“What’s up with Jisoo, you guys? He’s been  _ floaty _ all day.”

 

“Yeah, when I saw him wipe the  _ fuck _ out on the slope he just sighed and started giggling.”

 

“You finally think he got high?”

 

Chan sighs and plops himself down at the middle of the table, snapping a finger once before ten heads (Jun and Jeonghan are missing; Jisoo’s spacing out again) simultaneously swivel over to him. Jisoo just blushes and smiles at absolutely nothing, causing nine heads to tilt in confusion. Chan is the exception because he’s all knowing. 

 

“I can tell you the answers you’ve been looking for.”

 

Seungkwan bounces around in his seat, making himself comfortable by sitting on his hands. Chan knows it’s because Seungkwan had sex last night and his butt hurts. It’s also probably why he didn’t board today.

 

“What is it, Chan, tell us!”

 

Jisoo gently clears his throat. “Calm down you guys, I didn’t get high. No one should do that, hush.” He smiles again in his weird, loopy way and nearly drops his cup of coffee when he squeals. 

 

“Okay, Chan, tell us  _ now _ , before I call the psychiatric ward.”

 

Chan rolls his eyes. “It’s because Jisoo’s done a lot of platonic cuddling lately. With,  _ you know who _ .”

 

Everyone starts nodding and closing their eyes as if Chan had just told him the sky was blue. 

 

It’s an understandable reaction, though. 

 

“You know, nothing is  _ ever _ platonic.  _ Nothing. _ ”

 

Wonwoo, Seokmin, Hansol, and Seungkwan say, “It can be!” at the same time, quickly staring at each other suspiciously before looking away with red ears. 

 

No one comments. 

 

Although Wonwoo and Seokmin get a couple of looks. 

 

Chan shakes his head and then uses a finger, curled as far away form Jisoo’s body as possible, and pokes him. Jisoo squeals again and places his coffee cup down. 

 

“I think I’m going to head in for the day. I need to start packing.” Jisoo gets up from his seat, brushing off non-existent dust from his shirt. “Jihoon, you can take my coffee. It’s an americano and it’s still hot.”

 

“You’re my favorite.”

 

“I’m everyone’s favorite. Also, don’t tell me that, just think it.”

 

Jisoo bounces off, and Chan frowns. He’s going the wrong way of where Jeonghan is, which is where the cars are parked. 

 

As if to prove  _ why _ Jihoon should never say what he just said out loud, Seungcheol reaches over and tears the cup of coffee out of Jihoon’s hand and chugs it down. 

 

With a frown, he glares at it as if the cup were the personal reason why he lost his family. Jihoon chooses to stare at him incredulously, neck sticking out and a pout on his face. He looks petulant. 

 

“What! I was thirsty!”

 

“You have water in front of you, hyung.”

 

“Not the time,  _ Chan. _ Not. The.  _ Time _ .”

 

Chan holds back another dreary sigh. He’s starting to do it as a habit now. “‘Kay, hyung. I won’t say anything else because I’m actually scared that you’re jealousy is going to cost me my life.”

 

Mingyu snorts. “Heh. Yeah, he’s so protective of Jihoon.”

 

Seokmin doesn’t waste a single second wrapping a hand around Wonwoo’s thigh and clears his throat with his eyes looking dead. Wonwoo doesn’t stop him but stares at him with an amused look.

 

Mingyu nods once and grimaces. “What? I didn’t do anything?”

 

Chan decides to leave before Mingyu busts his head open. 

 

-

-

 

“The rooms are  _ what _ ?”

 

Jeonghan sighs and taps his fingers together, an annoyed expression clouding over his face. 

 

“Oh, my God, Seungcheol. The rooms. Are.  _ Infested. _ With black mold. I’ve literally said this ten times, dear lord. The resort’s giving us a refund but we’ve got to leave so they can fumigate the whole place.”

 

“So how long do we have?”

 

“About two hours. Sorry guys.”

 

Seungcheol shakes his head and offers Jeonghan a wry smile. At least he won’t have to suffer any more embarrassment on his part. Because he still can’t snowboard down the kiddy hill. And having Jihoon give him little hugs of pity isn’t doing anything for his (incredibly bruised) ego. 

 

“Alright. It’s fine, we’ll all get our stuff. Do you have the cars?”

 

“Yeah, the people who drove here should get a bre-”

 

“It’s fine, I wanna drive. I like making sure that no one touches my snacks.” Seokmin wraps a protective arm around the Pocky sticks he’s eating right now. Seungkwan looks at him with a look of disgust. But then he also holds onto his shrimp crackers a little bit tighter. Seungcheol rolls his eyes. 

 

“Okay then.”

 

“Yup. Shoo.” Jeonghan waves his hands around a couple times before heading towards the elevators. Jihoon taps his shoulders once. 

 

“C’mon, Cheol. We should grab a sandwich on the way up. You haven’t really eaten in like, two days.”

 

Seungcheol pulls Jihoon into a hug, and is suddenly really thankful for him being so tiny. It’s like hugging his own little Jihoon teddy bear but it  _ is _ his Jihoon teddy bear. 

 

“I’m fine, I guess I’m so tired that I haven’t had that much of an appetite.”

 

Jihoon gives him a wary look but doesn’t push. He purses his lips and sucks in a breath through his nose. “Alright.”

 

“Let’s go, Hoonie. Let’s pack!”

 

Jihoon nods but looks at the half-remaining sandwich in his hand. Seungcheol pretends to not see it. 

 

Seungcheol reminds himself to smile to wrinkle his eyes a little so he doesn’t look worried. Truth is, food is starting to make him sick and he throws up. He’s making himself a little more worried with each passing day, whether it’s either not being able to even stomach a little bowl or rice or wanting to throw up on the slopes. Everytime he thinks about eating food, it makes his stomach flip and twist around.

 

But it’s fine. He hasn’t passed out or thrown up yet. 

 

He’ll talk to Namjoon again later or something. 

 

-

-

 

Jihoon can literally  _ smell _ the lies on Seungcheol. It’s to the point where it’s like rolling off in waves, off of his body and into the atmosphere. 

 

Choi Seungcheol is fucking  _ sick _ but he’s lying. So Jihoon forces him to go to the hospital under the threat of no skin on skin contact for a month. 

 

It’s how Jihoon gets stuck driving through traffic with the unpacked suitcases lying in his car. He didn’t even get a chance to go home, going straight to the hospital from their office building. 

 

“Jihoon, I love you so much for caring, but really, I’m fine. I don’t - f-” Seungcheol stops talking for a minute and clutches onto his seat belt for dear life, sucking in a deep breath and by the looks of it, he’s trying to hold back a retching sound. 

 

“Fine, my ass. God, Seungcheol, if you’re going to lie, then at least do it right.” Jihoon sharply takes a left and more or less skids into the parking lot of the hospital. 

 

It’s a whole nother story trying to actually get it. Something’s bother Seungcheol so much that he can’t walk without leaning on Jihoon. Except Jihoon is so small that Seungcheol ends up knocking the both of them down so they slowly inch their way into the entrance. A nurse immediately comes to their aid, much to Seungcheol’s obvious chagrin. 

 

“Hello, is he okay? Please bring him over to a cot and we’ll start with a checkup.” Jihoon starts walking again, half dragging and half lugging Seungcheol past the sliding doors and into the emergency room. 

 

“Jihoon, really, I’m just really sore from snow-”

 

“Choi Seungcheol! What the hell are you trying to do right now!” Jihoon nearly jumps out of his skin and turns around to face Namjoon, who just boomed his way in there. A sorry pang hits his chest, remembering that Seungcheol said his boyfriend was cheating on him. 

 

_ Should I try and sympathize? It’s sad if he knows. Wait, does he still not know? Is he still with him? Should I tell him? Maybe it’d be better to hear it from a sort-of stranger than someone close to him. Yeah, I’ll ask him about it after he checks Seungcheol. _

 

“Hello to you to, Jihoon-ssi. You did the right thing bringing Seungcheol here. Did he finally agree to go under tre-”

 

“Treatment for my ulcers? Yes.  _ Namjoon,  _ stop bothering him.”

 

Jihoon feels anger pulsate throughout him as Namjoon glares at Seungcheol and Seungcheol returns the look equally as fiercely. 

 

“I think I’ll step out for a moment.”

 

Jihoon curtly bows to Namjoon, who looks at him a flash of pity before nodding his head in acknowledgement. Jihoon passes the curtain covering the cot and makes his way outside, the woosh of the automatic doors rushing past his head. 

 

He sits down on a sofa next to the doors. 

 

Seungcheol’s going to have his ass handed to him. 

 

-

-

 

Seokmin awkwardly stirs his tea with a spoon and clears his throat. “So. I guess things didn’t go out the way we planned.”

 

Wonwoo clears his throat too, just as awkwardly. Although he sounds like he’s choking on a pebble or something. “If you still want, I guess. Um. The offer sti- uh. Still stands.”

 

Seokmin feels his nails digging into his thighs but the pain is nice because at least he knows he’s not dreaming. 

 

“Really?”

 

“It’s for you, not me. If you say no in this situation, I won’t feel offended. And if you think that I’ll be the best option for you, then it’s your choice. I’m not imposing anything, Seokmin. It’s your comfort that matters the most right now.”

 

Seokmin gulps. Above all else, he’s just thankful that Wonwoo seems to be more worried about him and his safety than anything else. 

 

“Wonwoo?”

 

“That’s me.” Seokmin briefly makes a gagging face at Wonwoo and the stone-faced man cracks a tiny little smile. 

 

“What do you think this is about? Me asking you to do something like this.”

 

“Either you just want to lose your virginity and feel the physical aspect of it so you can do the do with Soonyoung, or you want to know what it’s feel like with someone you feel good around so your first experience isn’t a bad one. Or maybe it’s just you think it’s time and you don’t want the idea of your virginity to be a roadblock. Even though it’s not.”

 

“So you’d still do it? Wonwoo, you really wouldn’t mind if you took my virginity?”

 

“As long as it’s okay with you.”

 

“Okay. Yay, I guess we’re having sex.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes but pats Seokmin’s hands. 

 

“Stop!”

 

Seokmin freezes. That voice is  _ not _ Wonwoo’s. 

 

“Seokmin? What?”

 

Seokmin squeezes his eyes and is about to maybe start blabbering when the voice speaks up again. 

 

Except it’s not. It’s a fourth voice. It’s a voice that makes his blood run cold and he can see Wonwoo tense.

 

“God, no. God, tell me what I heard was a joke, Wonwoo?”

 

Seokmin wills himself to turn around and looks just long enough to see Mingyu run off somewhere and Soonyoung storming into the room with a look of what menace in its truest form is. 

 

And because Seokmin’s a weak bitch, he passes out. 

 

-

-

 

Mingyu spends a long ass time sniffling in corner of the bathroom, ignoring the texts from various people on his phone. 

 

When Jeonghan threatens to split up Wonwoo and to place him in a different department, he begrudgingly tells Jeonghan his location. 

 

It’s not even forty seconds when the door to the bathroom swings open and frantic footsteps rush in. Mingyu can tell it’s only one person but he still doesn’t want to stick his head out the stall to check. 

 

“Mingyu? Mingyu, are you there? Mingyu? Min-”

 

Wonwoo’s voice has the tendency to get very loud when he’s frustrated and screaming, so Mingyu gathers up the last of his balls and wipes his face off. He pulls the slide lock thingy out and is face to face with a very flustered, very sweaty Wonwoo. 

 

“What the hell do you want with me, Wonwoo?”

 

“Why’d you run-” Wonwoo places his hands on his knees and bends over, wheezing and squeezing in his eyes as he takes in a breath. “Run off like that?” Wonwoo straightens himself up, wiping the thin sheen of sweat off of his brow bone. Mingyu tries really hard to not focus on the wet glisten of Wonwoo’s neck move every time he breathes. 

 

“Where’d you run from?” Mingyu crosses his arms and does his best to put an angry face on but it probably looks more like an  _ I swear I didn’t mean to make you run, are you alright? _ kind of face. 

 

“The software wing.”

 

“Hmph. No one asked you to.” Mingyu kind of dies inside because the software wing is nearly four floors up and another wing away. And there’s no escalator that leads to this hall from there. 

 

“Why?”

 

Wonwoo crosses his arms back and glares. “Because you ran out of the room crying after saying something about me. What kind of fucking  _ asshole _ do you think I need to be to  _ not _ try and find you?”

 

“I - I-”

 

“Mingyu, if something bothers you, then why can’t you just ask me? Am I really that fucking scary to you or something? You’ve got a mouth for a-”

 

“You blamed me for ruining your life, Wonwoo. Of course I’m fucking scared of you, I did  _ shit _ to you and then I made you get all mean and ‘I want death all the time’ and - and  _ snippy _ !”

 

Mingyu can see his reflection on the tiles on the wall. He’s panting. He feels a little better when he looks at the expression on Wonwoo’s face. His eyebrows briefly raise when Mingyu says “snippy” but otherwise it remains stoic. 

 

“I don’t blame you.”

 

Mingyu nearly lets out a growl. “Yes you fucking  _ do _ . God, Wonwoo, fucking hell! Of course you do, because I blamed myself! And I still don’t know how to say I’m sorry for doing it and I don’t know what to do around you because I just keep thinking about my mistakes, Wonwoo, oh my God.”

 

Wonwoo sighs. “It’s been years, Mingyu. Even I can’t hold a grudge for that long. How do you expect to know how I feel if you don’t ask? I can’t stay angry forever. I’m not angry at you for doing what you did.”

 

Mingyu sniffles again. Stupid emotions and runny nose and Wonwoo being all slightly-patronizing about this whole thing. 

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Wonwoo frowns but doesn’t say anything. 

 

“Mingyu-”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Mingyu shoves the door open and stomps his way out, proudly ignoring his ruffled suit and swinging his arms at an angle as he walks. 

 

Thank God it’s work hours right now because he doesn’t need to face anyone in his blotchy face and haphazardly-wrinkled clothing. 

 

Mingyu still likes Wonwoo, though. Which is his main problem over all else. 

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan nearly chokes when he hears that Jongin is coming. 

 

Jongin is. 

 

Coming. 

 

Right now. 

 

Into the office that Jisoo is currently lounging and reading his reports in,

 

Kim Jongin is making his way up here and Jeonghan is panicking because Jisoo  _ cannot _ meet him. 

Holding back the urge to throw his phone out the window, he lets out a shaky breath and calls out Jisoo’s name. He prays that it doesn’t sound too rushed. 

 

“Yeah, do you need something?”

 

“Leave the office for now, please.”

 

“What?” Jisoo doesn’t look offended, just confused. But he still makes a standing up motion and coughs. 

 

“Sorry, Soo, but someone’s coming over right now and I’d rather you not be here.”

 

“Oh! Okay, who’s the guest?” A slightly sad look mists over Jisoo’s face but he still smiles and collects his papers. “Is it your dad? Are you guys, you know, dec-”

 

“No! No, nothing like that. There’s a - um,  _ business _ partner coming in. You - wouldn’t want to stay, he’s a blabbermouth and gets distracted easily.” Jeonghan trembles as he places his glasses on his face, nearly poking his eye out. Jisoo gives him a weird look when he coughs and then threads a shaking hand into his hair. 

 

“Okay, then. Tell me about him over dinner?”

 

“Dinner?”

 

“Yeah, today’s our-”

 

Jeonghan’s phone lights up and there’s a notification that says Jongin is on the floor, just needs to confirm with the secretary. 

 

“Out! Out, out! Sorry, Soo, I’ll text - uh, tell you if I can make dinner today. Bye!” Jeonghan all but hurdles over his armchair in order to open the door and pretty much shoves Jisoo out the door. Jisoo still looks lost more than he does offended, so Jeonghan sends him a message through his brain apologizing. 

There’s a knock on his door and Jeonghan puts on his best smile, the one that people love but he hates because it makes his neck hurt and teeth feel naked. 

“Hello, Jongin. Are you ready to talk about our marriage proposal?”

 

Jeonghan whips the door open all the way but it’s not Jongin, it’s Jisoo. 

 

Jeonghan can’t hear anything but the blood rushing to his head and the thump of his heart banging on his ribcage. 

 

“I, um, Left a report on the quarters here. I’ll just - come back later.” Jisoo’s voice dies out a little and Jeonghan’s about to say something when Jongin finally does appear and shoulders past Jisoo.

 

“Hello, Yoon Jeonghan. Are you ready to talk about marriage proposals?”

 

Jisoo bows to Jongin, who gives him a short one in return and disappears. 

 

-

-

 

Jisoo’s eyes are blurred with tears, which is extremely dangerous considering that he’s driving but he deems it alright as long as he keeps wiping his eyes. 

 

At a stoplight, he finally lets his head hit the headrest and sighs, not fully accepting the situation. 

 

Jisoo remembers Jongin, his height, his face, his aura of power that just surrounded him, making him look like a puny little shrimp next to Jeonghan. 

 

The light turns green and Jisoo is about to start driving again but then something smashes into his chest and the world turns black.  

 

_ It’s not your fault.  _

 

_ It’s not your fault.  _

 

_ It’s not your fault.  _

 

_ It’s not your- _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are u screaming yet???????
> 
> Hksjdhfs I honestly don't know why I made Jisoo get into an accident maybe I love drama and cliffhangers but let's pray that he's okay!!!
> 
> okay i really don't have too much to say today but also if u want check out my new svt fic!! thank you for the great responses, i'll update soon!
> 
> STAY HAPPY AND HLEATHY EVERYONE !!!


	9. I'd Like To Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hot diddly darn 
> 
> jk
> 
> nothing happens
> 
> it's dry

Jeonghan can’t feel anything but the rush of blood into his head. It fills up his ears and his eyes and his heart and his everything and nothing’s right he can’t breathe. Something's pushing down on his chest, something pressing on it like an anvil. 

 

He can’t feel Seungcheol patting his thigh as he clenches his own jaw. 

 

He can’t see Seokmin fail at holding in his tears and Soonyoung pretending like he’s tired but he’s really just hiding his face in Seokmin’s shoulder. 

 

He can’t tell what Jihoon’s doing, but if he could, he would know that Jihoon’s legs refuse to move him onto a chair, limp and rigid at the same time. 

 

He can’t hear Minghao praying even though he knows that Minghao doesn’t really believe in God. He’s called Jun earlier. 

 

He can’t smell the disgustingly flowery scent of the hand lotion the nurse gave Seungkwan because he’s so nervous and he can’t control his hands and so instead of tearing and picking at his nails he might as well just put on hand lotion so at least he doesn’t bleed. Hansol looks like he wants to punch a wall or maybe rip the hand lotion out of Seungkwan’s hand but he stays still and pinches his own side. 

 

Jeonghan’s just there. 

 

Like maybe a toy that can’t work with a slotted key fitting into him and turning to move him. 

 

A doctor, the tall one that Seungcheol knows, clears his throat. 

 

“One person can come into visit-”

 

Jeonghan pushes his body off the chair and shoves Seungcheol rather violently out of the way when he also moves to get up. Jeonghan sees the reflection of himself for a second in the glasses that the doctor wears - incredibly tired looking and incredibly washed out. 

 

It doesn’t matter. 

 

Jisoo matters. 

 

“Me, me, me, I go in first.” Jeonghan’s eyes feel like they’re going to pop out, silently staring everyone down in a challenge. No one objects. 

 

“Alright. Just, please. You need to be quiet and you can’t touch him.”

 

Jeonghan’s finger twitches. 

 

“Alright. Hurry up.”

 

Once they’re inside the room (a VIP one that Jeonghan bought out for close to half a million dollars), Jeonghan has to wear a cough mask and gloves. 

 

“The surgery went fine, he’s just woken up r-”

 

“What was the surgery for?”

 

The doctor sighs. “Didn’t we give your group the rundown earlier?”

 

Jeonghan shrugs. “I wasn’t thinking clearly, how was I supposed to understand what you were saying.”

 

The doctor nods. “Understandable. He’s got a collapsed lung. The tear through it was caused by a shard of glass that lodged itself between the sixth and seventh rib, so it was sizable. We stitched it up just fine, though. It’ll take about two or three weeks to heal. Besides that, he’s got two fractured fingers, a very badly bruised leg, but nothing sprained because of airbag.”

 

“Okay, so he’ll be fine, right? Jisoo’s going to be fine? He’s going to be okay?” Jeonghan’s tempted to just run over to the bed and fling himself on Jisoo and apologize and make it up to him by marrying him in Hawaii or something. (It’s wishful thinking but whatever.)

 

Jeonghan gets ready to finally walk over when the doctor holds an arm out and stops his body from moving forward. “One more thing.”

 

“What is it? Do I need to wear a protective gown?”

 

The doctor frowns as if he’s in pain, the sides of his mouth turning down in an awkward way. “Er, no. You don’t. But keep in mind; he’s gone through mental trauma, too. We haven’t been able to see whether he’s been hurt psychologically. When the emergency team was getting him onto the stretchers, he - was awake. I think he remembers the events and I’m only saying this so you know, but it may have some serious repercussions on his mental health. So. Be careful when you talk to him. I’ll be leaving now, take your time.”

 

Jeonghan nods. It’s unsettling and to be honest, he thinks it’s totally unnecessary to be scared like that but he swallows his breath and makes his way up to Jisoo. 

 

It’s a disgusting image to him. Jisoo shouldn’t be on the bed like that, a bandage wrapped around his head and the wraps peeking through the thin and gauzy hospital gown. 

 

Jisoo’s eyes turn to look at him and his brow pulls together a little bit. Jeonghan speaks first. 

 

“H-hey, Jisoo. I’m here. I’m here, oh my God, I’m never leaving you again. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Jisoo, God, I wish you were me and I were you right now, because God-” Jeonghan’s struggling to get the words out of his mouth and his tears blur his vision, making Jisoo look like a dying angel. 

 

“Thank you, I think?” Jisoo’s voice is raspy and not at all soft like it used to be. “I just have a question, though.”

“Yeah, yeah, anything, what do you need? Do you want water? Are you allowed to have water? Soup-”

 

“No, no. It’s fine. Just, why are you here?”

 

Jeonghan’s tears seem to stop abruptly. “Huh? What do you mean,  _ why _ am I here. I’m here because you’re hurt and I want to die because you’re hurt because you shouldn’t be. I won’t marry Jongin, I swear. I won’t, Jisoo, if you don’t like it, I won’t.”

 

Jisoo lets out a thin laugh that melts into a small cough. “What? No, go ahead and marry Jongin, why should my opinion matter? I don’t even know you. I was just going to ask why you’re here because I don’t know you.”

 

Jeonghan’s heart literally stops beating for a minute. 

 

“You-you don’t know me?”

 

“I’m afraid not, sir.”

 

“ _ Sir? _ ”

 

“Well, I don’t know your name.”

 

Jeonghan chokes on a gasp and bolts out of the room. Seungcheol stands up immediately but Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood and marches up to the doctor. 

 

“What the  _ fuck  _ did you do to him?” Jeonghan’s throat hurts because of how hard he screams it. The others in the hallway stare at him, old women and men gasping and eyeing each other. Jeonghan literally cannot give less shits than right now, though. “What the fuck did you drug him with?”

 

Jeonghan raises a hand as if he’s going to slap the doctor but he knows he can’t succeed with it and his arm is pull roughly down to his side. The doctor’s got a concerned face on him. 

 

“What? Did he fall back asleep? Seungcheol, call-”

 

“No, no, no! He can’t remember me! He can’t remember me! He doesn't know who I am, fuck! What the hell did you guys do to him! What the fuck did you  _ do _ ?”

 

The doctor sucks in a deep breath and Soonyoung seems to bury his head into Seokmin even further. Jeonghan finds it funny because Soonyoung doesn’t even know Jisoo that well. He’d be a good match for anyone. Seokmin’s lucky.

 

He hates them the most right now because at least they have each other even though they aren’t together. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

-

-

 

Jihoon feels like maybe,  _ maybe,  _ Jeonghan is actually going to snap. 

 

Like, his mental state is going to  _ break _ . 

 

Is going to be sent to the psychiatric ward because holy  _ shit _ , that man has lost it. 

 

After some screaming (cursing, throwing a roll of gauze at the window at the end of the hall, kicking things, screaming some more), he’s finally dragged out to be fucking  _ sedated _ because that’s how much he’s lost it. 

 

Jihoon takes a look at Namjoon, who’s exchanging words with Wonwoo about something. It seems somber and Jihoon doesn’t need to be more depressed that Jisoo can’t remember who his soulmate is, oh yeah, another thing, he can remember everyone else besides Jeonghan. So that threw him into another frenzy. 

 

Jihoon’s waiting for Seungcheol to come back from the bathroom so they can at least get coffee when he sees Namjoon walking by. 

 

With Seokjin. (He knows his name because he’s a doctor and holy  _ fuck _ is his face nice and Seungcheol had said “Hi Seokjin” to once and got a very chic, very  _ I’m a god _ , kind of “Hi” back.)

 

Jihoon watches from where he’s standing in front of the desk as Namjoon blushes when Seokjin presses a soft kiss on his lips, smiling into it playfully. Seokjin says something and disappears into a room with a whisk of his coat. Namjoon seems happy but there’s still a weight on his shoulders. His smile leaves almost immediately after Seokjin leaves. 

 

Jihoon comes to the conclusion that he knows. After all, he just got kissed and tried to pull away by smiling. And then he started frowning after he left. 

 

Namjoon meets his eyes and waves, starting to walk over. Jihoon decides he’d rather be sympathetic than act clueless. 

 

“Hey, Namjoon-ssi. Sorry to hear what happened.”

 

Namjoon’s brows pull together. “About Jisoo?”

 

“No, about your boyfriend.”

 

“I’m not following, sorry.”

 

“No, it’s just that I’ve heard from Seungcheol that he’s cheating on you. But since you already know that, you know. I guess I’ve got nothing else to say but I’m so-”

 

“Wait, wait,  _ what _ ? When did you hear this?”

 

“When he came in for the ulcers. He told me that you were just upset because of Seokjin but Seungcheol-”

 

“Jihoon-ssi, no offense, but, your boyfriend’s a liar.”

 

“What?”

 

“That day, I was upset because he refused to come in for cancer treatment. You know, to get rid of the tumor?”

 

Jihoon opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, trying to  _ process _ what he just heard. “I’m, I-”

 

Namjoon’s eyes open wide. “Oh! You didn’t know! I’m so-”

 

Seungcheol comes into view and all Jihoon sees are spots. “Choi Seungcheol, you come over here right fucking now!”

 

He’s really getting his ass handed to him now. 

 

-

-

 

Seokmin’s not gonna lie- 

 

Soonyoung’s cute when he’s jealous. 

 

So far, Soonyoung has intercepted every single moment where Wonwoo even maybe  _ twitched  _ to move anywhere near Seokmin. When he’s not talking, he’s glaring the poor man down while Wonwoo - well, Wonwoo looks like he’s glaring at everyone so that’s kind of funny. 

 

It’s very obvious. It’s very funny to watch. 

 

“By the way, Seok-”

 

“Seokmin! Come look at thi-, oh, sorry Wonwoo. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

“It’s fine-”

 

“Right, okay.”

 

Or. 

 

“Seokmin, where’s the ba-”

 

“It’s right around the corner after you take a left down the hall. Seokmin, want to get a cup of coffee?”

 

Or. 

 

“Seokmin, can you help me fill out these forms? I don’t really know any of them and Seungcheol’s not here.”

 

“MInghao’s right there, ask him!”

 

Soonyoung does all of this with a petty smile on his face. One that Seokmin, of course, finds endearingly endearing. Wonwoo’s expression continues to grow cloudier, however. 

 

“Okay, Soonyoung, take a  _ seat _ ,  _ please _ . I don’t like Seokmin, I don’t want him, stop taking your inability to actually talk to him and make progress with him out on me.” Wonwoo clears his throat and claps his hands together. “I’m gonna go get coffee, bye.”

 

Seokmin watches with (a tiny slight interest because he’s a masochist maybe and enjoys the uncomfortable look on Soonyoung’s face because maybe he’ll start thinking about  _ them _ now) smile as Soonyoung sighs and stands up. 

 

“I’ll-I’ll go with you, Wonwoo. Is that okay?”

 

Wonwoo nods. “Sure.”

 

Seokmin leans over to Mingyu. “Think Soonyoung’s going to ask me out ever? Before I die a virg-”

 

Mingyu chokes. “Uh. Huh.”

 

Minghao looks up from his phone. “Is it weird that we aren’t concerned about Jeonghan being sedated right now and Jisoo not being able to remember anything from the past four years?”

 

“R-right.”

 

-

-

 

Wonwoo buys four coffees (for himself, Mingyu, Minghao, and Jihoon. Soonyoung’s holding the ones for Seokmin, Seungcheol, Jun, who’s stopping by in a couple of minutes, and Hansol. Chan and Seungkwan don’t drink coffee.) and starts sipping through his straw. He’s stressed out about a lot of things right now, and he kind of feels terrible that Jeonghan doesn’t even make the top 3. Jisoo’s nicer. So he takes second place. 

 

“So. Wonwoo. I just want to apologize for being you know, petty and stuff. I’m just-”

 

“Yeah. It’s fine to be confused, Soonyoung. But can I ask you something?”

 

“Yes, yeah. Go ahead.”

 

“The thought of Seokmin having sex with someone else bothered you. Do you still feel like you can’t date him?”

 

Soonyoung purses his lips around his straw and his jaw goes slack as he takes a sip. “I don’t know. I know I like him, but I think you know, just taking things slow might be better. I hate taking responsibility for other people, Wonwoo. It sounds like a childish excuse but I hate feeling pressured into doing something or meaning something to someone else just because I did that one thing.”

 

“Why?” Maybe if Wonwoo was a couple of hours younger, he would’ve been angry at Soonyoung. He’s not, just, he’s curious.

 

“My dad made me drop everything I ever wanted to do, Wonwoo. I was supposed to be a part of the National Ballet. I was supposed to train in Russia. I was supposed to do  _ all these things _ , but then he blamed me for stressing out my mom to the point where she couldn’t work for him anymore. And when she died, it made everything worse. I went to college for culinary and I took on the restaurant. Just because he was someone who couldn’t handle things on his own.”

 

Wonwoo’s choking on a sip of coffee that’s going down the wrong pipe right now. 

 

“Well. Shit, dude.”

 

“Yeah. So. I know you’re worrying about Seokmin as a friend. But. For once, please, just, let me do this my way. I’ll make things right and I’ll talk, just, I can’t do this if people start expecting me to act like a god. Like someone who can’t mess up.”

 

“You’re a person, of course you’re going to mess up every once in a while.”

 

Soonyoung throws him a glare. “I see the way you all look at him, like he needs to be shielded from anything that doesn't look or smell like a flower. But c’mon, Wonwoo. We’ll both be okay.”

 

“Yeah. I know.”

 

“And what about Mingyu? Shouldn’t you make up with him?”

 

Wonwoo stares down at the coffees in the little tray thing. “Yeah, I know. I’ll start soon.”

 

Wonwoo nods at Seokmin, taking a seat where his jacket is. 

 

“Hey, Mingyu.”

 

Mingyu looks up from where he’s groggily looking through his phone. “Yes, Wonwoo?”

 

“Here you go. One medium caramel latte with three packets of sugar and one extra pump of vanilla with heavy cream, not milk. No whipped cream.” Wonwoo holds out the cold drink out and hands it to Mingyu, who takes it somewhat apprehensively. 

 

“Thank you. How’d you know my order?”

 

“I got it from Minghao.”

 

“Oh. Th-thank you.”

 

“No problem. Think of it as a start to me apologizing for making you think I hated you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s just. Take it slow from here, yeah?”

 

Mingyu diverts his eyes and takes a drink from his coffee. “Yeah.”

 

-

-

 

It’s not like Jisoo can’t remember  _ anything _ . Just snippets from here and there that are missing. 

 

It’s mostly things from his past regarding Jeonghan that he can’t recall. 

 

He’s still  _ there _ , just, he doesn’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal about it, though. Jisoo can’t remember ever being too close to him. 

 

His childhood memories have Jeonghan in them once in a while, but it gets more and more hazy as he grows older. 

 

Jeonghan talked to him during graduation and gave him a smile and a hug when they were leaving for college. 

 

Jeonghan had congratulated him when Jisoo got a job at the company, starting as a financial manager. 

 

Jeonghan had gave him a small smile and a thumbs up when Jisoo got promoted into his friend’s department. 

 

But that’s it. 

 

“Jisoo, don’t force yourself to remember things if you can’t. You don’t have permanent memory loss. See, you just keep thinking of more and more ever since you woke up. At least you remember your coworkers and friends a little bit more now.”

 

“Right. He’s not, you know, my boyfriend or anything, right? I just - he was the first one here when I woke up. Is he - he someone close to me?”

 

Kyungsoo, the psychiatrist in the hospital, frowns a little and places his clipboard down on the table. 

 

“I don’t know, Jisoo, I haven’t asked. But seems to me like you’re blocking him out because of a trauma. Has there been anything that you can remember that would make you upset at Jeonghan?”

 

“Hmm? What do you mean, trauma.”

 

Kyungsoo sighs. “I think, that you’re subconsciously trying to block out Jeonghan from your memory. When you think about it, you quickly picked up who each one of your friends were in a couple of hours. But with Jeonghan, who’s the closest to you out of all of them, you couldn’t remember. I think this is definitely temporary, but you need to go through it carefully. Don’t force yourself to do anything, it’ll come back in time.”

 

Jisoo nods and scratches at his elbow. The hospital gown is stupidly long and annoyingly itchy. 

 

“Alright. I’ll do my best and try to remember someone I already kind of remember, I guess.”

 

“Alright. And Jisoo?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You know Kim Jongin, right?”

 

A sharp  _ feeling _ in his stomach suddenly fills him and the name makes him queasy but it sounds familiar so he nods. “I think so.”

 

Kyungsoo smiles. “Tell him that Do Kyungsoo says thanks, but he’s being dumb.”

 

Jisoo nods. “Okay.”

  
  


Outside the office, Jeonghan waits for him on the chairs with his elbows pressed into his thighs and his hair a mess. The sedatives must’ve made him exhausted. 

 

“Jisoo! God, you’re ok-” Jeonghan reaches his arms out for a hug but then quickly draws them back. “I’m sorry.”

 

Jisoo shakes his head. “No, no, it’s fine, really. I’m not scared of you.”

 

“So. You still don’t remember anything about me?”

“I do, actually. Just. Not a lot.”

“Do you remember what I told you when we were graduating?”

 

Jisoo smiles but inside he’s mentally furrowing his eyebrows. He literally just came out of a mental checkup for memory loss, but sure, he can remember something from nearly ten years ago.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t, sorry,” Jisoo lets out. “What was it?”

 

“Nothing. I just said that I’d help you through anything.”

 

“Oh. well, thank you for taking care of me.” Jisoo bows quickly and starts walking down the hall but something about Jeonghan makes him want to cry because everytime he talks Jisoo feels each word hit his chest and hurt him in ways he doesn’t get right now. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this is such a damn dry chapter im sjdfsjsjs
> 
> you guys thought id write amnesia 
> 
> and i did
> 
> so ssjsjsjs
> 
> and also hyuna and edawn r together and anyone who thinks they shouldnt be yall need to just leave the exit is right THERE bye 
> 
> and yeah i really dont know what else to write except that ill update "a perfect man" soon just hang in there to anyone reading that also please read it i swear i tried harder on the humor part than this ooooof
> 
> bye you guys stay healthy and wear sunscreen and if ur in like the east coast area there's like rain i think (????) so take umbrellas out!!
> 
> ps im rushing this chapter so i didn't get to edit so ill do that tomorrow im sorry for this crap chapter
> 
> pps also someone recommend SVT fics please if u know any i wana read some jsjsjdf


	10. Chan Decides He's Going to play God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so like
> 
>  
> 
> yah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, im going to say sorry in advance or uch a shitty chapter. its just a bunch of shit piled onto more shit but please try and understand, i just got out of surgery a couple days ago. i wanted to edit but alas medication prevented any real progress. 
> 
>  
> 
> also please read the notes at the bottom there's an "announcement" there!!!

Chan decides that in all honesty, things could be shittier than they are right now. Well, things are pretty shit right now, but it could be worse. At least Jisoo’s back in the office, doing his job as always. (Chan feels bad that Jeonghan has to see Jisoo interacting with and remembering everyone else more than Jisoo remembers him. But Chan also feels like in the great plan of the universe, it must be just one step closer to getting them in love, even though it doesn’t feel that way now.) But it also kind of maybe isn’t that good because Jisoo walks around on crutches but he can’t maneuver them well with his fingers being in little splints and also, let’s not forget about the giant gaping wound in the side of his chest. Jisoo struggles to even walk from one end to the other in the room yet he insists on doing things himself. (It takes him thirty minutes to actually get in the room from the morning. Jeonghan had threatened to fire Jisoo if he didn’t let Jeonghan give Jisoo a personal driver so at least now he can get home and to work with a little less hassle. Also, Jisoo’s car is absolutely scrapped right now.)

 

But that’s pretty much where the half-good stuff ends. 

 

Jihoon’s not talking to Seungcheol right now. (Jihoon’s too whipped to say that they should break up but he’s still not talking. Chan’ll get to the bottom of the later, he thinks.)

 

Minghao still kind of a mess because of Jun. (Sharing an apartment with the guy you still love but you don’t really feel anything else at the moment but would still hate it if they were with someone else even though that’s allowed isn’t exactly a situation where Chan would want to get in between. But he’s going to have to sooner or later.)

 

Seokmin is maybe (?) going to go out with Soonyoung later but the stupid bastards still haven’t talked things out and it’s very ambiguous towards what’s going to happen. (Chan chooses to not meddle with them so much because it’s really up to Soonyoung at this point to decide what to do.) But he’s got a gut feeling that stuff will work out between them. 

 

Hansol and Seungkwan, as always, are a little bit of a mess. Now, even if that sounds cute, it’s not, because it’s absolutely frustrating to watch them. They don’t even have like, someone coming in between them. It’s just their  _ mentalities _ that are so fucking dumb. Chan’s going to be busy; he hope it’ll work out between them soon. He doesn’t have time for some melodramatic teen shit. 

 

Wonwoo’s been nicer to Mingyu lately. But for some reason, Mingyu’s retreating backwards. Like, now that he’s finally gotten what he wants, he’s starting to get scared of it. Chan’s a man with a plan. Maybe he’ll get Wonwoo drunk. (That sounds illegal but Chan chooses to ignore the moral voice inside his head for now.)

 

And that pretty much concludes the status of every relationship Chan is absolutely going to make happen. Eventually. The pile of reports on his desk still need to be filed. 

 

A single, (very loud) knock snaps Chan out of his planning reverie. He scrambles to sit up properly, getting a weird look from Seokmin. 

 

A head peaks through and if Chan were seriously anyone else he’d offer more things than what would be legal to the man. 

 

His face looks like it’s been carved out of a dark, caramel-ly marble, strong bones accented by nearly black hair and equally dark, full brows. When he steps through the archway, his long body unfolds in all of it’s glory, dress shirt falling down without a single wrinkle and neck put on display with a single necklace dropping down all the way to the middle of his chest. 

 

“Hello, is there a Hong Jisoo in here? I’m here to meet him.”

 

Suddenly, Chan hates is gorgeously gorgeous face. 

 

_ Is he here to take Jisoo away from Jeonghan?  _ Chan makes his leg stiff just in case he’s got some ass-kicking to do. 

 

“Yes, that’s me. I’ll apologize for my haggard appearance beforehand.” Jisoo sheepishly (tries) to bolt up and ends up wobbling all over the place like some kind of three-footed frog, hobbling his way over to the door.

 

“Here, let me help you with that...” Jongin and Jisoo eventually start fading from everyone’s views and what seems to be a collective breath gets released from everyone. 

 

“Godamn, if I was single, I’d let him to things to me that I can’t say out loud.”

 

“You  _ are  _ single, Mingyu.” Seokmin looks like he’s about to say more when a Wonwoo enters through the doorway, holding packets of paper in his hand. 

 

“ _ You aren’t single, Ming- _ oh, shut up, Seokmin. Am I not allowed to fantasize about hot men anymore?”

 

“Oh, hey, Wonwoo, you can just put the weekly numbers down on Jisoo’s desk, he’ll be in soon.” Chan smiles as Wonwoo nods and walks over to put them down. 

 

“Thanks. And also, Chan, I’ve got a couple of papers from my department that need to be mailed out. Stop by my office later so I can give them to you.”

 

“Sure, no problem. What time?”

 

“Around six. I should be done revising the upcoming contract with W Group before then.”

 

“Okay. Bye, hyung.” Chan flutters his fingers in the  _ toodle-oo _ wave and sweetly grins as Wonwoo leaves. Quickly turning to Mingyu, he watches as the beanpole of a man start squealing and pulling at his hair. 

 

“DId I just say that in front of Wonwoo? Oh my God, oh my God!”

 

Minghao  _ tsks _ . “Wonwoo didn’t look like he cared, anyways. If that makes you feel better.”

 

Mingyu looks up with a glare. “Why.  _ Why _ would that make me feel better, Minghao? Why-”

 

Chan decides that now’s the time to follow Jihoon’s lead and puts his earbuds into his ears, blasting his music to the point where he feels his brain cells vibrating. 

 

-

-

 

Jisoo apprehensively takes the cup of coffee into his hands and waits until Jongin also takes a sip before talking. 

 

“Is there a reason that you wanted to meet with me today?”

 

Jongin gives him a strange smile. There’s no evil behind it, but it’s like Jongin knows something that he doesn’t and it creeps Jisoo out. 

 

“Yes. You - you don’t remember who I am, do you.” It’s not a question. Jongin seems to already have picked up on the uneasiness that Jisoo tried to hide. 

 

“I’m afraid not, sorry.”

 

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this or not, but your accident was partially my fault.” Jongin looks down and sighs. The sad-looking smile is gone and his eyes darken. 

 

Jisoo immediately assumes the worst. “You were the one who hit my car? I thought that-”

“No! No, God, no, Jisoo. No.” Jongin’s eyes grow big and wild, a hurt look dancing its way across his face. 

 

Jisoo takes another sip of his coffee, relieved in some sort of way. “Okay. Sorry for interrupting you, please keep going.”

 

Jongin sucks in a breath and nods. “You ran out crying when Jeonghan thought that you were me and announced that a discussion of marriage proposals would be taking place.” Jongin rubs his thigh with a hand like he’s trying to calm himself down. “You were upset, and incredibly so at that. It gives me the impression that you loved him more than you would love a friend, Jisoo. I’m sure that day you were confused above all else and me actually being there made it worse. I want to apologize. I never meant to be the cause of someone else’s pain. Physical, mental, emotional. It was never my intention.”

 

Jisoo feels that same clenching in his heart, just like that day in the hospital when he walked away from Jeonghan wanting to cry without knowing why. Loving him more than a friend? But not dating? But not apart from each other? Maybe the old Jisoo would’ve understood that perfectly. Maybe the old Jisoo felt that it was right. But it sits uncomfortably with him now. It’s like his old thoughts are water and his new ones are oil. They separate until he can see the line between how different they are, but still connected. 

 

“In love with Jeonghan? Really?”

 

Jongin smiles at him, teeth and all. It hits Jisoo at once how good-looking the man in front of him really is. Good-looking seems like an insult at this point. 

 

“Yes, really. But there’s one more thing you should know.”

 

“Aww, man! There’s always one more thing I should know. It’s good up until here, can’t we just leave it like that?”

 

Jongin chuckles. “Afraid not.”

 

“Fine. Please, continue.” Jisoo still puffs his cheeks out like a child and draws his brows together. 

 

Jongin stops his laughing. “It’s about this marriage. Jeonghan and I both, we, well, we aren’t doing this marriage for each other. It’s - it’s complicated, but I can speak for the both of us when I say that it’s because we both have people we want to protect. In Jeonghan’s case, it’s you. In my case, well, it’s-”

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

Jongin’s head snaps up so fast that Jisoo can hear a couple of his neck bones cracking. Jongin gasps like he’s just been told that his family’s been captured by the mafia. But something deep within Jisoo tells him that for some reason, he would’ve reacted the same way if it was the other with Jeonghan. 

 

“H-how, do you know Kyungsoo?”

 

“He’s my psychiatrist. He told me that if I ever saw you again to tell you that he says thanks, but you’re being dumb. And then before I was allowed to leave the hospital he said to make sure and tell you he will if you will. Not that I know what that means.”

 

Jongin starts tearing up and covers the bottom half of his face with a hand. “He said that?”

 

Jisoo isn’t sure what’s so great about what he’s just said but he nods. “Yes. He did.”

 

Jongin shakes his head a couple of times and squeezes his eyes shut, tears running down his face. “I’ve got to go. Thank you, Jisoo, thank you, thank you!” Jongin turns around and waves grandly before bolting off again. 

 

Jisoo can’t really do anything to blink as he watches Jongin dash off into the street past the doors. 

 

Jisoo decides that it’s time to head back up and starts walking to the elevators, throwing out his cup of coffee and Jongin’s on the way up. 

 

When the elevator door opens, it’s Jeonghan’s surprised face that greets him. 

 

“J-jisoo! H-hey.”

 

_ I’m supposed to be in love with this man. I’m supposed to be in love with this man. I’m supposed to be in love with this man.  _

 

_ How am I supposed to do that? _

 

“Hello, Jeonghan. How are you today?” Jeonghan’s smile is tight and controlled but he still answers through a grin. 

 

“I’m fine. And you?” Jeonghan looks down. “Oh, your shoelace is untied. I’ll get it.”

 

Jisoo watches as Jeonghan ties them, using the bunny ear way. It’s cute. 

 

_ Wait.  _

 

_ Why do I think that’s cute? _

 

“Thank you.”

 

“No problem. It’d be weirder if I didn’t tie it.” The door dings and Jeonghan claps his hand. “This is my floor, what’s yours?”

 

“The seventeenth.”

 

“I’ll go up with you, then.” Jeonghan presses the button on the side that signals for the door to close again and he leans his shoulder against the wall. 

 

“Why? Don’t you need to be somewhere?”

 

Jeonghan turns to him and smiles. “I know this is weird for you, Jisoo, but no one ever comes before you. To me, you’re always going to be before everything, everyone, even myself. So don’t think of these things as me being nice to you just because you can’t remember me. I would’ve done this even if you didn’t forget.”

 

Jisoo gets choked up for a second. 

 

For a moment, he can picture it. 

 

For a moment, it’s clear to him. 

 

For a moment, Jisoo can see himself with Jeonghan. 

 

But there must’ve been a reason that he ran out like he did. 

 

So the image is shattered, cracked and messily ripped apart in his head. 

 

-

-

 

“I’ll be your boyfriend if you get me water, Hansol.” Seungkwan lazily flaps his hand in the air and with every bob, Hansol feels another wave of anger flood through him. Seungkwan’s been saying this a lot lately. 

 

_ “I’ll be your boyfriend if you can go copy this. I don’t feel like getting up.” _

 

_ “I’ll be your boyfriend if you buy me a bag of chips.” _

 

_ “I’ll be your boyfriend if you throw this out.” _

 

_ “I’ll be your boyfriend if you get me a pencil.” _

 

_ “I’ll be your boyfriend if you get me coffee.” _

 

Seriously. There hasn’t been a sentence that has come out of Seungkwan’s mouth today (or yesterday or the day before that or the day before that) that didn't contain the words “ _ I’ll be your boyfriend. _ ” It’s starting to seriously get on Hansol’s  nerves because he doesn’t need that kind of shit, he doesn’t need that kind of stupid false hope, he doesn’t need that kind of pretending. 

 

“Stop saying that.”

 

Hansol tries to take in a deep breath but he can’t seem to. 

 

“Saying what?” Seungkwan tilts his head innocently, light blond-ish brown hair falling over his eyes. 

 

Hansol is going to  _ snap _ .

 

“Stop saying that you’ll be my boyfriend! If you want me to do something for you, ask me without those stupid words, I’ll be your boyfriend, no, you won’t!.”

 

“Hansol, calm do-” Seokmin stands up in his seat and makes a concerned face. 

 

“No! No, no, no, I’m not going to calm down! I’ve  _ been _ calming myself down for days now, Seungkwan, stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it! Do you realize what you’re doing to me every time you say that? You’re not going to be my boyfriend, you don’t even realize how much I like you and actually  _ want _ that to happen, stop saying that!” Hansol kicks the air with his legs, crying like a total baby right now. Someone’s hugging him but he can’t tell. He just continues to bawl like a child and he wants to stop because he knows how disgustingly childish he’s acting but everything that’s been building up just explodes. 

 

Hansol can’t really make out Seungkwan over all of his tears but he sees Seungkwan get up and make his way over. 

 

“Hansol-”

 

“No! Stop it, don’t touch me! Stop it, Seungkwan! Let’s stop it, okay? I can’t keep doing this to myself, I’m sorry, but oh my God, I’m going to die if I hear you say that one more time without meaning it.” Hansol pushes away the arms that are hugging him. He sees that it’s Mingyu, who gets the message and steps away. Hansol needs to get out. He starts walking when Seungkwan blocks his path. 

 

“You’re so fucking stupid, Hansol.” Seungkwan’s frowning. “You’re really bad at taking hints, you know that?”

 

Hansol scoffs. “God, I feel so much be-”

 

Seungkwan pulls him into a kiss, pressing their lips together. It’s soft and gentle, light and still, it’s different. They’ve kissed a thousand times under the sheets in either one of their apartments but it’s  _ different _ this time. 

 

Seungkwan gently pulls away, still frowning. Hansol’s dizzy.

 

“What’re you doing.”

 

“I keep saying I’ll be your boyfriend and yet you reject every single offer.” Seungkwan sighs dramatically and flings and arm out, nearly smacking Mingyu in the face (who seems to be frozen in his spot, unmoving and open-mouthed) and stomping a foot on the ground. “How tragic is this?” 

 

Hansol finds himself laughing at the stupidity of it all. “Fine. You’re my boyfriend now, right?”

 

Seungkwan lets out a breath. “Fine. I guess if you insist then I’m going to have to say yes.”

 

Hansol’s smile falls so fast that even the Flash couldn’t have caught it. “What?”

 

Seungkwan giggles. “Kidding.” Seungkwan reches up for another kiss and whispers, “I love you.”

 

Jihoon groans from somewhere in the back. “Why am I jealous of a couple of babies who cry over everything?”

 

Minghao lets out a choking sound. “Me too.”

 

-

-

 

Jihoon starts walking out of the room as soon as Seungcheol walks in. He’s glad that everyone’s out for coffee. If anything happened, it be embarrassing. Because Jihoon has a feeling one of them is going to blow up and not in the lame-yet-somehow-cute way Hansol did. 

 

“Jihoon, it’s been a week, please talk to me. Please, I-”

 

“No. Not until you agree to get the fucking tumor removed.”

 

“I-I can’t do that.”

 

“Huh. Yeah, you’re right, it’s so fucking hard to remove something that’s going to give you cancer. You’re right, my thinking’s been short. All my fucking apologies, Seungcheol, for wanting you to get rid of the cancerous  _ thing _ growing inside your body.”

 

Seungcheol’s expression grows cloudy. “It’s not like that-”

 

“Then tell me!  _ Tell me _ , Seungcheol, you know how to talk.”

 

“I can’t! Not, not yet.”

 

“I don’t  _ want _ to be with you if you’re like this, Seungcheol! How could I date someone who is  _ willingly _ keeping the fucking tumor inside of them. Do you know how fucking ridiculous that sentence even sounds? God, I want a break. I need a break.  _ I need a break _ .”

 

Seungcheol sighs. “Fine. Let’s just, you know, calm down over coffee. We’ll talk.”

 

Jihoon hasn’t cried in years but he’s going to start now if he doesn’t get out. 

 

“No. Let’s. Break up. I can’t  _ invest _ myself like this, Seungcheol, when you have cancer and you won’t treat it. It’s going to  _ kill _ me if it gets worse. Which it will. Because it’s cancer. This is killing me, Seungcheol,  _ God _ . We need to break up if you’re going to be like this.”

 

“No, no, Jihoon, please don’t do this to me, I’m already going through a lot-”

 

“So am I!” Jihoon throws an arm in the air, throat suddenly raw from the scream. “ _ So am I _ , Seungcheol, why can’t you see that? Go date the fucking tumor if you like it so much! Fuck you! Fuck, fuck!” Jihoon lets out a loud shriek, shrill and piercing. 

 

Stomping out of the room, he decides that he needs to get home before he does something bad. Jisoo runs into him on Jihoon’s way down. 

 

“I’m leaving.”

 

Jisoo sees the look on his face and nods. “Of course.”

 

“No. I’m  _ leaving. _ ”

 

Jisoo gives him a quizzical glance. “Alright?”

 

“I’m quitting.”

 

Even with Jisoo’s hazy memory, the both of them seem to realize that Jihoon’s not just saying it this time. 

 

“A-lright.”

 

“Bye, Jisoo.”

 

“Goodbye, Jihoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonjour again. 
> 
> fun fact my dad smacked my head when i joked that since he's a surgeon i can get hurt as much as i want and he'll have to fix me up for free anyways so yeah sajfslkjf why am i so dumb somtimes
> 
> anyways, here's the "announcement":
> 
> Because i haven't been writing enough, I don't really have a lot of material as of right now to edit and post. So, I'll let you guys choose! 
> 
> Basically in the comments: 
> 
> 1\. Write the title of the fic (The Perfect Man, Normal Just Isn't Our Thing, or High School)  
> 2\. Write the ship that you would like to see an AU of (For example: The Perfect Man, with Mingyu x Wonwoo, (and then write the situation here))  
> 4\. Give as many details as you'd like! This is a story for you, include what you would like to read! (ex: if it were a college au, you could write the majors of the characters, or jobs, or setting)  
> 5\. Make them fluffy! I want to step away from the depressing aura that so many of my fics have right now sdjkfhs and so I want to write a cute one!!!  
> 6\. I'll choose the one I like best and write a full length chapter about them and post it in replacement of a chapter. Keep in mind that the side story won't be related to the actual fic at all. It's a completely separate, not on the same story line.  
> 7\. When I post, I will of course give credit and paste the actual comment into the notes so you guys can see who made up the au
> 
> Anyways, i hope that will kind of take off the disappointment of so many crappy chapters. Im really trying super hard for you guys, please don't doubt for a minute that these actual chapters are a priority. But then again my health is also pretty darn important to me and I want to recover well. 
> 
> Also, from now on, if there are any scenariors related to the fic that you think would be funny or cute or anything, please comment them! I will of course give credit and incorporate ideas into my fics if you guys want to read them, this fic is also to enteratin you guys. 
> 
> with that, i hope this is somewhat suffiecenit and see you next time! i hope you guys always stay happy and healthy, say something in the comments if you aren't! id be more than happy to have a conversation or to cheer someone up!
> 
> BYEE!!!!


	11. GodAmN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABES IM SO LATE IM SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING BUT LIKE ILL EXPLAIN AT THE END BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON THIS FIC IM RETURNING IM BACK ILL UPDATE SJDFHSJFHSD

Jisoo walks up to Jeonghan’s door somewhat nervously today, because there’s a  _ lot _ of shit he’s going to get. 

 

He needs to tell Jeonghan that Jihoon’s quit, Seungcheol’s been a no-show this morning, Minghao’s looking at apartment listings in secret (it’s nine in the morning right now. Who the fuck  _ cares _ about anything but getting a drink of coffee into their systems at nine in the morning.), Wonwoo’s shown up to announce that Chan never actually came by to mail contracts out so there’s an emergency brewing, and Seokmin’s dying because there’s no Jihoon to tease. (And also that he hasn’t talked to Soonyoung yet but Jisoo’s willing to bet that Jeonghan’s not going to care about that.)

 

Knocking timidly on the door, Jisoo breathes in and out with his eyes closed, waiting for someone to tell him to enter. The tightness in his chest is most definitely not from where is deflated lung was pumped up with god knows that. 

 

Someone breathes into Jisoo’s ear and he jumps up, screaming and dropping the folder in his hands. And the crutch. Jisoo would have screamed bloody murder but the sharp pain that shoots up his leg prevents him from doing anything more than squealing. 

 

Jeonghan steps out from behind him and laughs, bending over to pick up the manilla folder. Jisoo glares at him. 

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“I’d say thanks but you’re the reason I dropped it, so no thanks. And I’m pretty sure my leg is broken.”

 

“Aww, babe, you mad?” Jeonghan lets out another slightly-nasally laugh, opening the door. But he still looks down at Jisoo’s leg with wary eyes. Jisoo holds his breath as Jeonghan pushes the door open, ignoring how close they are. (In Jisoo’s humble opinion, there’s no reason Jeonghan had to do it from behind him. Not that he really minds.)

 

Not. 

 

That he. 

 

Really  _ minds _ . 

  
  


Huh.

 

_ I don’t mind _ ?

 

Jisoo enters the room rather slowly, feeling his eyebrows come together as he contemplates. There’s a strange tension at the back of his head, like a hand nudging at the edge of his skull. 

 

“Jeonghan?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Could you touch my hand?”

 

Jeonghan’s eyes snap up from where he’s taking off his jacket. 

 

_ He’s taking off his jacket and I wish his shirt was next. _

 

Jisoo’s eyes widen. Intrusive thoughts much? Jisoo nearly chokes on his next breath and kind of wishes he maybe had died.

 

_ What the hell? Snap out of it, Jisoo! You don’t know him!  _

 

The stupid little voice in his head telling him yeah, technically, he  _ does _ , gets pushed back what Jeonghan smiles. Jisoo twitches. Okay, he’s just being weird at this point. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Just! Just, do it, please.”

 

Jeonghan gives him a confused look but still walks over from the coat hanger and reaches out, taking Jisoo’s hand in his own. 

 

Jisoo stands still for a moment, breathing turning rapid and heartbeat picking up.

 

But then. 

 

It slows down and there’s no  _ spark _ . It’s strange because Jisoo’s disappointed and relieved; a flood of feelings rushing through him and disappearing like  _ that _ . Shaking his head once, he snatches his hand out of Jeonghan’s, ignoring the hurt look on his face. 

 

There is nothing more that Jisoo wants to do right now than to smooth the pained look on Jeonghan’s face out. But Jisoo doesn't know this man and that’s it for now. 

 

“Jihoon’s quit. Seungcheol’s not here. I don’t think he’s going to show up today. And Minghao’s going to move, I think. He’s looking through apartment listings-”

 

“He was supposed to give me the review of the financial overview yesterday!”

 

Jisoo gives Jeonghan a look. “Let me  _ finish _ . I’ve got the thing right here. And also, Seokmin’s talking to himself about how he’s going to throw himself out the window. So. Yeah.”

 

Jeonghan leans forward and places his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together and frowning. “Jisoo?”

 

“Yes? Is there anything you need?”

 

“Place the folder down on my desk.”

 

“Okay.” Jisoo nods and walks over to Jeonghan’s desk, placing the manilla folder down on the thick wooden surface. 

 

“Alright. Now Let’s get some coffee.”

 

“What?” Jisoo thinks that the existential crisis of everyone in the office might be more important to deal with but if Jeonghan wants coffee, it’s not like he can stop him. Because Jeonghan owns the company. 

 

Jisoo places that little fact under  _ The List of Why You can’t Like Jeonghan _ and watches Jeonghan get up again. (Not that he knows that he does. It’s just for safekeeping.)

 

“Coffee. I want coffee right now. Looks like you could use one, too.”

 

“Jeonghan, I really feel like the issues-”

 

“Are you rejecting me right now?” Jeonghan fakes a pout and flutters his lashes, clasping his hands under his chin and laughing. 

 

“N-no! No, l-let’s go.” Jisoo frowns a little but Jeonghan lets out another one of his nasally giggles and Jisoo hits himself on the chest. 

 

“You good?”

 

“O-ho, I’m dandy.”

 

“You used the word  _ dandy _ . You’re not fine,  _ babe _ , let’s get you a macchiato.”

 

Jeonghan walks backwards and slings an arm playfully around Jisoo’s waist.

 

Jisoo holds his breath. 

 

He doesn’t remember if he’s ever felt like he could melt under Jeonghan’s touch but he knows that he could  _ now. _

 

_ You don’t know the Jisoo that he knows.  _

 

_ You’re not the Jisoo who Jeonghan likes.  _

 

_ You’re not the Jisoo who Jeonghan loves.  _

 

_ You’re a fraud.  _

 

-

-

 

Seokmin lazily rolls a fry in between his fingers, too lost in thought to decide whether he wants to eat it or not. Eventually, he ends up crushing the said food into a little potato mash, breaking and falling onto the napkin under his hand with a plop. 

 

“Seokmin, your lunch is going cold.” Mingyu swivels himself over on his chair over to Seokmin. Seokmin can’t even find the care in him to try and push Mingyu away like he normally would. 

 

“I couldn’t eat it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It looked like Soonyoung.”

 

Seungkwan cackles from the back of the room. “And you wouldn’t want to eat him?” There’s another bark of shrill laughter before it turns into a scream. Seokmin smiles lazily when he hears Minghao telling Chan that he can’t do that to their poor hearts. 

 

Mingyu rolls his eyes. “But really, you should just text him. I mean, he definitely likes you.”

 

Seokmin sits up straight. “Really? You think? I mean, that’s what I thought, but you know his whole thing about-”

 

“Yeah, about his relationship stuff. I know. But like-”

 

“Can you high school girls go back to class? People actually need to do things here.” Jihoon’s eyes narrow at Seokmin and Mingyu, two little slits that hold black fire. Seokmin feels his balls shrivel. 

“You’re quitting; that’s nowhere near as bad as what we’re doing.” Mingyu crosses his arms but his expression softens into one of pity. “But seriously, is there nothing we can do to get you to stay? Jeonghan’s gonna be pissed.”

 

“I’ve had other job offers before, I’m just gonna take the best paying out of those. But yeah, I don’t really wanna stay.”

 

“Why  _ not _ , though? You don’t even work in the same department as him.”

 

Jihoon frowns. “Do you even know  _ what  _ he did?”

 

Seokmin feels his stomach turn sour. “D-did he cheat on you?”

 

Jihoon snorts. “Honestly? That’d be better. He has a stomach tumor that’s starting to turn into a cancer. But he’s not removing it.”

 

Mingyu offers an awkward cough. Seokmin gives him the side eye and nudges his calf rather forcefully under the table. 

 

“That’s not good.”

 

“No it fucking is  _ not,  _ Mingyu, God. Thank you for that observation. Such brilliance. I hope you get promoted soon.”

 

“You’re salty.” Mingyu pouts. Seokmin groans. 

 

“For God’s sake, Mingyu, the love of his life is fucking  _ dying _ , can you shut up!” Seokmin’s about to scream some more because he’s just  _ stressed _ at how someone as fucking stupid as Mingyu could have graduated from college with a legitimate (that’s still up for debate since no one’s ever seen the degree) degree and found an actual job within the corporate world when Chan bursts into the room huffing and puffing and ready to blow the building down. 

 

“Hyung, hyung! I forgot! I forgot!” Chan slams his hands onto his knees and coughs violently, brown hair clumping together with sweat. “ _ Help! _ ” It comes out as a wheeze and Seokmin holds back a giggle. 

 

Mingyu leans forward. “Anything’s better than listening to Jihoon talking about his sad life. What do you need?” Chan holds up a finger in the universal  _ give me a moment _ gesture and sucks in some more oxygen. From the corner of his eyes, Seokmin sees Minghao sucking in large amounts of air and breathing them out. 

 

“Hao? You good?” Jihoon’s eyes are narrowed. 

 

“Yeah, no, I’m just breathing out so Chan has more air to breath.”

 

Jihoon hurls a pen at his face and it lands magnificently in the center of Minghao’s forehead. There’s a sharp clicking noise as the pen lands on the floor and Minghao’s neck cracks rather loudly as his head falls back. 

 

Mingyu clears his throat. “Let’s go out, shall we?”

 

Chan continues to pant, albeit slower. “Yes, please.”

 

-

-

 

It  _ really _ wasn’t Chan’s intention to be such a perfect human. 

 

But oh well, God knows how to choose his good apples. Chan smiles as he sends Mingyu down the hall. His hyung’s back is so slumped that they’re practically the same height, a raincloud of depression looming over Mingyu’s black hair. Chan waits until he turns the bend so he can laugh. 

 

Mingyu’s voice booms across the turn in the corridor. “Shut the fuck up, Chan! I’m squaring  _ up _ with you inside my head right now!” Chan just indulges himself and laughs louder. 

 

Now, as the reader, it would make sense that you’d be curious as to why Chan was so happy. 

 

Let the divulging begin:

 

Chan had forgotten to send those papers Wonwoo had given him to wherever he was supposed to, so he needed to get that right away.  _ However,  _ being the ever-so-studious college intern, Chan had forgotten to write his essay on whether sub economics would be beneficial or not in the long run of companies because although a corporate environment needs intrapreneurs as much as entrepreneurs, is there a limit to how much is too much? Chan doesn’t know the answer because he doesn’t really listen in class. 

 

Which is why he scheduled an emergency appointment with the King of just being Amazing just because ™, Hong Jisoo himself, to get help on his essay. And he knew Mingyu would be working on this term’s numbers so he ran up to send him along. 

  
  
  


In the end, Jisoo did most of the work but petted Chan’s head like a puppy and said he was a cute hard-worker. 

 

Chan doesn’t have a praise kink, but if he were the type to, he’d probably have died of ecstasy from Jisoo’s cooes of encouragement. 

 

“Chan, I’ve got to go, but you-” Jisoo musses the top of Chan’s head with a warm hand, “-but you keep on working hard, okay?”

 

Scratch that. 

 

He  _ so  _ has a praise kink.

 

-

-

 

Mingyu’s fingers clutch onto the cluster of papers in his hands, pressing them so hard that it crumples and wrinkles under the pressure. Mingyu watches as his knuckles turn pink, and then white, and then raises a hand to knock on the door of Wonwoo’s office. 

 

But as his fist makes contact with the glass panel, Wonwoo appears and Mingyu ends up punching his chest. 

 

Wonwoo lets out a small grunt as he stumbles backwards and Mingyu pales. 

 

“H-here! P-papers, take th-them!” Mingyu shoves the contracts into Wonwoo in a rushed manner, and Wonwoo blankly takes them. 

 

“Is this what Chan was supposed to give me?”

 

Mingy coughs. He tries to answer but his voice dies out in his throat so he nods. 

 

“By-”

 

“I’m thirsty. Let’s get coffee.”

 

“What?” Mingyu blinks. 

 

“Let’s get coffee. I want coffee. Yeah?”

 

_ Reject it, reject it, reject it. _

 

“Yeah, sure.” Mingyu gulps. 

 

_ You fucking coward! Kim Mingyu, get your shit together, you’re supp- _

 

Wonwoo places a hand on Mingyu’s back to push him out and Mingyu’s stomach lurches. 

 

The coffee shop they go to isn’t crowded, but the line is long enough that Mingyu volunteers to pay while Wonwoo looks for a seat. When it’s finally Mingyu’s turn, he quickly scans the menu before turning to smile at the cashier. 

 

“Hello and welcome to Happy Happy Cafe! My name is Eunwoo, what would you like today?” The cashier finishes and gives Mingyu a smile, his eye crinkling and teeth on full display. 

 

“I’ll take one caramel latte and one strawberry smoothie, please.” Mingyu had asked Wonwoo why he didn’t order his usual and got a smoothie, but he had just shrugged and went off to look for a seat. “And a slice of the fruit cake, please.”

 

“Alright, thank you! What is your name, for the coffee?”

 

“Mingyu.”

 

“Okay! Your total is $9.68. Thank you and we’ll call you up when your order is ready!”

 

Mingyu pays and smiles before leaving to find Wonwoo. He’s sitting near the window, fidgeting around with a napkin with his fingers. There’s an empty look on his face and Mingyu knocks on the table before sitting to get Wonwoo to look up. 

 

“Hey, Wonwoo, are you okay? Why’d you ask me to come with you for coffee?”

 

Wonwoo gives Mingyu a weird smile. “Yeah. I just wanted to tell you something.”

 

Mingyu sits down. “Sure, yeah.”

 

“I just wanted to apologize. I want to say sorry for ever making you feel bad. I know that you don’t like me anymore, so please don’t think of anything between us as awkward. I guess I’m offering an olive branch? I don’t know, but I hope you aren’t mad at me. Can we be friends again?”

 

Every single word is like a bullet aimed for the softest part of his heart. Wonwoo’s being sincere; he wants to be friends. Mingyu knows that. 

 

It’s killing him. 

 

“I’m not mad, Wonwoo. I’m sorry too, for trying to pursue you even though you’ve never made it confusing for me whether you liked me or not. I know I’ve made you uncomfortable and I acted childish by avoiding you.” Mingyu makes sure his expression is controlled and light. “I’ll accept that olive branch.”

 

The look of anxiety on Wonwoo’s face dissolves into one of relief. “Thank God. Thanks, Mingyu.”

 

“Your drinks, sir.”

 

Mingyu looks up, slightly startled. There’s the cashier in front of him placing the drinks down on the table and then the plate with the cake slice and forks.

 

“Oh, I thought we were going to be called up.”

 

Eunwoo blushes. “I kinda just wanted to see you again.”

 

Mingyu blinks. “Me?”

 

“Yeah. Are you a senior?” Eunwoo blinks slowly, the bright smile on his face starting to falter ever so slightly. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, in college! Not high school. I’m a sophomore.” Eunwoo smiles again. 

 

Mingyu flushes. “I’m twenty seven.” Out of the side of his eye, he sees Wonwoo press his lips into a line, holding back an obvious laugh. Mingyu would kick his shins but he doesn’t think they’re close enough for that. 

 

Eunwoo’s eyes widen astronomically and his pulls his tray back. “I’m sorry, oh my God, I thought you were in college. Sorry!” Eunwoo quickly bows with an embarrassed look and scuttles off. 

 

Mingyu looks down at his clothes. It’s just his slacks and dress shirt, but without the employee card around his neck or suit jacket, he can see how he’d be mistaken. 

 

“So do you like capturing the hearts of our youth or fantasizing about hot men?”

 

_ You.  _

 

_ I like you. _

 

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

 

Wonwoo lets out a brief chuckle. His phone lights up. “I’ve got to go, the contracts aren’t gonna fill themselves! Thank you for the drink, Mingyu!” Wonwoo smiles and rushes out. Mingyu frowns but he sees that there’s a notification on his phone so he opens it. 

  
  
  


_ Devilhan: _

 

_ Wonwoo if u dont gt ur ass in the fucking office AND FIL THOSE CONTTACTS OUT IM GOFNHHNA FKCIN KILLL OYU U BITC ASD you WANNA FIght ME I OWN UR ASS SDFHJHS DO I PAY U TO DO NOTING FUCJNG HEL L FUC U  _

 

-

-

 

Soonyoung’s going through numbers in his office when there’s a knock on the door. 

 

“Come in,” Soonyoung says, shuffling his papers together so he can put them away. 

 

“Hey, Soonyoung.” Soonyoung looks up at freezes for a moment. Seokmin’s in front of him, smiling and holding a little stuffed animal of  _ something _ . It looks like a blob. “Here, I saw a doll of a marshmallow on the way here and it reminded me of you.”

 

Soonyoung laughs and takes the doll, setting it upright next to his computer. There’s a face on it, cartoon eyes wide and pink stitching on where the cheeks would be to resemble a blush. “Thanks, I love it. Most people say I remind them of a hamster, though.”

 

Seokmin’s eyes widen. “Oh! Yeah, yeah! I see it now!” Seokmin snaps and laughs. The sound is rich and warm and Soonyoung is about to ask if he’s free for the weekend when Seokmin’s phone rings. 

 

“Sorry, let me take this.” Seokmin frowns when he sees the phone and swipes. “Hello?”

 

There’s some noise on the end of the line and Seokmin rolls his eyes. “I said the date is this Friday. I told you yesterday, you forgot already?”

 

Soonyoung nearly falls out of his chair. 

 

_ DATE! _

 

_ THIS FRIDAY! _

 

_ SEOKMIN ON A DATE THIS FRIDAY! _

 

The alarm bells start ringing and Soonyoung has to pinch the inside of his thigh so he doesn’t do anything irrational. Seokmin says goodbye and the phone slides back into his pocket. 

 

“You have a date this Friday?” Soonyoung curses himself that he just let it out like that but he’s grateful that his face looks normal in the reflection of the computer screen. Good. He doesn’t look suspicious. Seokmin cocks his heads. 

 

“Yeah, someone I know set me up with a blind date. His name is Minhyun, I think? Anyways, yeah.”

 

Soonyoung doesn’t think about his actions. 

 

He stands up rather violently and snatches Seokmin’s arm, pulling him in between his body and the desk. Soonyoung stares at Seokmin while pressing their hands together, stepping closer to get rid of the distance between them. 

 

Soonyoung closes his eyes and kisses Seokmin, who stands still for a little bit. Soonyoung doesn’t push, and he’s not being pushed away, so he just lets his lips rest lightly against a solid, unmoving Seokmin before pulling away. It doesn’t register in his head what he’s doing. He sees the look of shock on Seokmin’s face before turning his head down.

 

“Don’t date anyone.”

 

There’s no response from Seokmin, who’s being pushed down so hard onto the desk that he’s practically a part of it. Soonyoung places his forehead onto Seokmin’s chest. The heat of his skin bleeds through the t-shirt he’s wearing and Soonyoung thinks he’s going to melt.

 

“Date me, Seokmin. Do what you want to do with other people to me. Don’t touch other people, don’t let them touch you. Date  _ me _ . Be with  _ me _ .” Soonyoung feels like he’s going to cry, the hot pressure behind his eyelids spurred on by the lack of response he’s getting. “Whatever issue I had, I don’t have it anymore. Please,  _ please, Seokmin _ .”

 

_ You fucking idiot. You’re too late. _

 

Seokmin finally moves, breathing out slowly and using the fingers of his free hand to move Soonyoung’s face up. Soonyoung wants to beat himself up when tears fall. He feels fucking childish. 

 

“Okay. I won’t.”

 

Seokmin refuses to break eye contact as he gently brushes the tears on Soonyoung’s face away and finally moves his head down to kiss Soonyoung again. 

 

Soonyoung smiles against Seokmin’s lips, holding back giddy laughter as Seokmin widens his lips with him. They grin against each other and kiss messily, they kiss gently, and Soonyoung pulls away for a second so they can breath and Seokmin kisses him again. He tastes like fruit and honey and sweetness.

 

“You really won’t, right? What about that Min-whatever dude?” Soonyoung can’t help but frown and the name leaves a sour taste in his mouth. 

 

Seokmin laughs and moves his arms so he can hug Soonyoung, who obliges, although with a petty expression. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I just made that up,  _ I  _ was the one setting someone up.”

 

Soonyoung groans and plops down on the chair, dragging Seokmin with him. He feels the chair sink under the weight of two bodies. “Good.” Seokmin makes sure to hold onto Soonyoung’s head and waist, a leg leaning against the floor and one leg bent to rest against Soonyoung’s side.

 

Soonyoung can’t remember his own name when Seokmin touches him. 

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan waits impatiently for Jisoo to come out the door. The day to remove the casts and stitches on Jisoo is almost coming, which means Jisoo will have no reason to have a designated driver to work or home. He taps his foot irregularly, blood pulsing in the late winter chill that seeps through his (very fucking) expensive cold. 

 

“Why do I pay for the goose down when it barely does anything, fucking hell.” Jeonghan mutters in under his breath so the driver can’t hear. Although the driver is in the car so he probably couldn’t have heard anyways. 

 

There’s a pat on Jeonghan’s shoulders and he whips around to see Jisoo, arm bent awkwardly to hold the crutch and a messily wrapped scarf around his neck. Jeonghan tsks when he sees it and quickly rearranges the scarf so it’s tucked in neatly. Jisoo reddens, but it could just be because of the cold. 

 

_ He can’t remember you, you fucking shithead. _

 

“You’re making that face again.” Jisoo tilts his head to the left, an amused look on his face. Jeonghan blinks. 

 

“What look?” Jeonghan’s never felt  _ small _ next to Jisoo, even if he’s about an inch shorter. If anything the presence just made up for it. But he feels like an ant under Jisoo’s smiling gaze. 

 

“You’re beating yourself up mentally. You do that a lot these days. Is it normal?”

 

Jeonghan blinks yet again. “Honestly, if you’re with me, then yeah, I guess I do it a lot.”

 

“Shut up. I’m cold, let’s go.” But Jisoo flushes and this time, Jeonghan  _ knows _ that it’s not because he’s cold. 

 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

The inside of the car is toasty and the leather seats beneath them are warm and soft. Jeonghan sinks into them and sighs. 

 

Liking Jisoo is difficult. 

 

Liking a Jisoo that can’t remember him and keeps toeing at the edges is even harder.

 

Jeonghan looks at Jisoo, who fiddles with the crutch. Jeonghan laughs and takes it out of his hands and places it on the floor. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

There’s a bit of comfortable silence but then Jisoo taps Jeonghan’s knee with a mitten-ed finger (technically hand). (The mittens. Dear God, Jisoo is going to kill him with his cuteness.)

 

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Do you like me?”

 

“Yes, Jisoo, I do.” It barely registers to Jeonghan that it’s his first time saying that out loud. He kicks himself because the moment is so uselessly un-dazzling. 

 

Jisoo frowns. “No, do you like the past Jisoo, or me?”

 

Jeonghan smiles. “There’s no difference between those two for me. I like you, Jisoo. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were born a girl or had four heads or you were an alien or something. I like  _ you _ , you as a person. So stop doubting that other people don’t, too. Maybe you can’t remember anything but your actions and your soul and your love is so inherently  _ yours _ that you’re still the same to me.”

 

Jisoo stays quiet.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Something falls like a boulder into Jeonghan’s stomach but he keeps the grin on his face and shrugs. 

 

“Anytime.” Bile rises out of his throat when Jisoo looks down and then angles his body away from Jeonghan. 

 

A part of him dies.

 

The February snow that falls buries the searing pain in Jeonghan’s heart with numb iciness. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYSSSS  
> I WANTED TO UPDATE FOR LIKE THE PAST MILLION YEARS BUT SJDLFHSAKDJFH
> 
> just a bunch of shit came up in college and life and idk i just lost the will to do anything for a while and i know i said id come with a big update but its been really rough and like sdfjsldjfh but im back now!! and betta than evah!!! thank you for your comments of worry and seriously i missed writing sm, and there's going to be an update of "te perfect man" REALLY SOON so please hang in there! (I know i promised a side chapter but i liked it so much that im turning into a side fic !!!! )
> 
> but omg i missed you all and idk why im so fucking emotional rn but just clicking publish is a whole ROllErcoASteR 
> 
> please comment your opinions, i love talking to you all and i miss my regular commenters ive been deprived of love come back djfsldjfs
> 
> comment what you would like to see with future couples!! if you want any specific scenes or words or whatever to go down, ill make it happen! ive been gone too long to not do so lmao dfjhs
> 
>  
> 
> anyways, see you next time bye mwah mwah mwah (ill update the perfect man soon!!) stay happy and healthy and safe and bundle up for the winter!


	12. And What Do We Do Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted yeterday but then i caught like a million mistakes so i took it down to update it lmao 
> 
> andyways 
> 
> idrk what to write but like ??? wow??? why do i do this to my fav ship????
> 
> anyways, please comment or kudos if you enjoyed and i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!
> 
> please stay happy and healthy and safe and see you next time!! The new fic will be updated shortly after this :)))

“Someone asked me out, what do I do?”

 

Chan does  _ not _ want to hear those words first thing in the morning from anybody, really, but seeing that it comes out of Minghao’s mouth makes it worse. 

 

Seungkwan immediately jumps to Jun’s defense. “Dude, I know you haven’t been able to like, fuck with Jun lately-” Seungkwan takes a moment to laugh at his own joke. “- but really, that’s kind of harsh.”

 

Minghao’s eyes narrow and Chan waits for the  _ oh yeah, you right, I wanna love Jun and only him,  _ but that’s not what he gets. “I think Jun is going on a date tonight, also.”

 

Even  _ Jisoo,  _ who doesn’t even remember who Jun is that well, places his pen delicately down on his desk. 

 

“What?”

 

Hansol asks the question that was on the tip of everyone’s tongues. 

 

“I think he’s going to date someone else. Well, maybe not  _ date _ , but I think he’s considering it.”

 

Chan cracks his knuckles and Minghao looks over at him. 

 

“Hyung, just stay home and make him jealous!”

 

“Yes, Chan. What an amazing plan. I’m sure Jun would kill himself to be with me once he sees my fat ass in sweatpants crying over a tub of icecream and watching k-drama reruns. You genius.” Minghao’s eyes are dead and his voice is even deader. Chan didn’t know that a voice could be that flat until today. 

 

“Wait no, Minghao, that’s actually a good idea! I can help!” Mingyu exclaims, happily leaning forward on his desk and claps childishly. “Wonwoo friend-zoned me so hard that even  _ I _ got blindsided.”

 

Everyone takes a moment of silence for Mingyu and his “relationship.” Chan internally kicks himself. His plan was to get them closer, not for Wonwoo to jump ship and suddenly declare his undying friendship for Mingyu. He’d really appreciate if everyone could just  _ follow the mental scripts _ he has planned out. 

 

As for Jun, Chan doesn’t know him well enough to judge his personality. But Minghao’s sadness tells him enough, that they were dependent on each other and Minghao is suddenly exposed to some raw pain that he’s never experienced before. Chan suspects it’s a  _ been with my first love since forever _ kind of thing.

 

Chan speaks up. “Yeah, come on, hyung! Listen to me! I mean, I’m practically cupid over here! I got Seokmin and Soonyoung together, plus Hansol and Seungkwan! Don’t I deserve  _ some _ kind of credit here?”

 

Seokmin stares at Chan blankly. “No, you didn’t?”

Chan rolls his eyes. “Ugh, whatever.”

  
  


But Jisoo swings by later to pat Chan on the head and says, “Yeah, it was you. You’re everyone’s good luck charm for finding love.”

 

Chan finds himself blushing and can’t finish editing Mingyu’s report. 

-

-

 

Now that Jihoon is gone, Seungcheol questions whether he should bother doing his job or not. Besides all of that, it’s not like he can ignore the tumor growing inside of him. Jihoon’s crying face flashes in front of his eyes whenever he tries to get his work done. Jeonghan’s been lenient on him for not being able to do a lot for the last week, but things are starting to pile up and Seungcheol can’t concentrate. 

 

Just as he’s about to ask Jeonghan to please,  _ please _ let him off the hook for being late with his latest report, the door to his office opens so hard that the glass walls on the side rattle in their frames. 

 

Jeonghan appears like some office worker of death, and if Seungcheol squints hard enough, he can practically see the devil horns sprouting out of Jeonghan’s ears. 

 

“Seungcheol! I know you’re wallowing in your despair, but do that in your own time!” Jeonghan offers Seungcheol a short, dry smile. “It’s what I do, at least.”

 

“Sorry, Jeonghan, I swear I’ll get-”

 

“Nup-up-up!” Jeonghan cuts him off rather violently, teeth clashing together in a hiss. “Nope! You are going to Jihoon’s  _ right now _ , take this gps, go for a drive, go talk to him, I don’t care! I refuse to sit by and watch you kill yourself and frankly, I’m just as pissed as he is.”

 

Seungcheol catches the small black box that Jeonghan chucks at him. “What?”

 

Jeonghan sighs like Seungcheol is absolutely  _ stupid _ . “Go. To. Jihoon’s. Apartment. And talk to him. Before I rip you apart and eat you alive.”

 

Seungcheol shudders a little bit when Jeonghan’s hand twitches. Everyone assumes that Seungcheol would be the best fighter out of the group, but in all honesty, Jeonghan’s the only one who’d be able to go through with fully (maybe) killing someone. The ruthless, competitive environment that Jeonghan’s grown up in may have helped cultivate some of that,  _ if you don’t listen to me I’ll throw you into the shredder _ mindset that Jeonghan has. 

 

That being said, Jeonghan also hates meddling with other people, so it’s shocking to Seungcheol that Jeonghan is  _ ordering _ him to do this. 

 

“Thank you, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol doesn’t know if he can actually go through with talking to Jihoon, but he really does want to try. 

 

Seungcheol walks past a sighing Jeonghan and starts making his way to his car. He’s thankful that Jihoon lives somewhat far away from the office. 

 

He can plan his “I’m sorry” speech out as he drives.

 

-

-

 

Hansol watches with worry as Seungkwan converses with some worker from the floor below. He finds it a little too casual, a little to  _ comfortable _ , for him to rest easy. Even now, something’s changed with Seungkwan. He’s careful around Hansol, like he’s trying that much harder to prove that they’re in a relationship now. His jokes have died down, instead, finding joy in proving to each other that they’ve moved out of the friends-with-benefits phase. Seungkwan is so  _ conscious _ of it that Hansol worries about it sometimes.

 

To Hansol, there isn’t  _ too _ much of a difference. It was sex with feelings before, and it’s still like that now. Except, he can call Seungkwan his  _ boyfriend _ and tell him that he loves him and wants to be with him forever without it being awkward. 

 

Isn’t that what being in a relationship is?

 

Hansol finds himself drowning in a lot of jealousy these days, and it makes him uneasy. Truth be told, Seungkwan doesn’t leak dramatic sex appeal when he walks. There’s no fuckboy-ness to him and he’s adorably adorable rather than sexy. And Hansol loves it. 

 

It seems that other people like it, too. 

 

Like Jisoo’s habit of patting people on the head. Hansol thought that was restricted more towards Chan, but Jisoo does it a lot to Seungkwan, as well. 

 

Like Minghao and Mingyu not letting a day pass without making comments about his boyfriend’s butt and the worst part is, Seungkwan  _ indulges _ them right in front of Hansol and winks. Hansol’s vien nearly popped yesterday when Seungkwan actually stood up to blow them an exaggerated kiss. 

 

Like when people at bars naturally gravitate to Seungkwan because of his approachability. There’s always someone talking to him. And they don’t look at him like sex material. They look at him like sex-and-them-marriage material. 

 

Hansol wishes he could just put an ugly screen over Seungkwan’s face but he can’t do that so he sticks to passively glaring at whoever stands next to Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan finally finishes talking to whoever he was talking to, and Hansol makes sure in the reflection of his phone that his face is calm and placid, not giving away the disdain for the muscled freak who wouldn’t move away from his boyfriend. 

 

“Hansol, let’s go watch a movie this weekend! I just heard from Jungkook that there’s a movie with Park Haejin coming out!” Seungkwan pretends to swoon and fans himself. “And he’s  _ hot _ .”

 

Hansol suddenly wants to punch this Park Haejin in the face. “S-sure. Yeah, whatever you want.”

 

Seungkwan removes the straw he’s drinking from out of his mouth and looks at Hansol. “Are you okay? You don’t have to watch the movie with me, I’ll go with someone else.”

 

Hansol nearly breaks the table with his knee with how hard his leg jerks up. “No! No, I never said that! No, let’s go watch it!” Seungkwan flushes when people start to look at Hansol’s screaming and flailing body. “I can go!”

 

“Hansol, okay, calm down.” Seungkwan lets out an airy laugh but his face looks uncomfortable. 

 

“Seungkwan, you know I want to go with you, right?”

 

Seungkwan nods. “Yeah, but, Hansol, you don’t have to force yourself to do things for me. It makes me feel bad when you don’t enjoy yourself. You can have fun with your friends too, you know.”

 

Hansol lets out a sigh and his heart feels strange in his chest. “Yeah, I know. I’m just scared I guess, that we might break what we have if we don’t watch out.”

 

Seungkwan gives Hansol a small smile but it makes Hansol grin. “It’s okay to worry, Hansol. Just talk to me the next time you feel stressed about things like this, okay?” Seungkwan lets out a real laugh this time. “I’m not going anywhere, so don’t worry so much, Hansol.”

 

Hansol doesn’t reply but when they get up to walk back to the office, Hansol’s grip is a little looser than he used to be and his walk is lighter. 

 

-

-

 

Jihoon’s dramatic show last week wasn’t exactly his best performance,  _ clearly _ . 

 

He’s been hired by some company that he hadn’t looked into earlier, only to find out some  _ shit _ about his new CEO. 

 

Apparently, the CEO used to work the board of members at Jeonghan’s father’s company but was embezzling millions and millions. By the time his tracks grew a little bit too heavy to hide, he had split and sent his money with others and the police couldn’t find legitimate evidence that this man was holding millions by himself. Avoiding persecution, he started his own company with his step-son as the public's CEO, but he was the one running everything in the back. 

 

When Jihoon had found this out, there  _ was _ indeed some part of him that said,  _ hey, why not Spy-Kids it out and get the money back? _ but when Jihoon almost died after being scared to death by a duster pan (it fell off the shelf rather loudly, in his defense), Jihoon decided to just stick to his numbers. Numbers would never fail you. Math is concrete. 

 

Jihoon gets to work from home a lot, which is just merely an added bonus but still, he can’t help but feel like shit whenever he thinks about getting his next paycheck from someone who fucked over one of his best friends (their dad, but really, the specifics don’t matter) like that. 

 

Jihoon’s about to make a cup of tea (he’s decided to quit coffee. The withdrawal symptoms are painfully obvious, but after Seungcheol, he wants to live a little better.) when there’s a knock on the door. Jihoon momentarily blacks out and forgets that the  _ humane _ thing to do would be to answer it but he sees his warped expression on the toaster and besides the loopy features, he sees how fucking  _ crusty _ he looks. His hair is wild and the bags under his eyes are no joke. At least he brushed his teeth and showered this morning, but his sweats are a little bit too big and his hoodie swamps him out. Still, he can’t stall any longer so he quickly rubs his eyes and makes his way to the door. 

 

Jihoon doesn’t know who he was expecting but it wasn’t Baekhyun. 

 

“Hey, Jihoon!” There’s an ambiguous streak of white cream or something over Baekhyun’s face that Jihoon  _ prays _ is not the cum of his six foot tall, monster of a boyfriend. Baekhyun apparently sees the shock and giggles. “Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t that. It’s frosting! I’m making some new bread hybrid thingy for my bakery!”

 

“Oh, ok.” Jihoon lets out a breath of relief. 

 

Baekhyun leans in conspiratorially. “Don’t worry, after the last time, Chanyeol finally said something to me about it.”

 

Jihoon inadvertently makes a face. “Baekhyun, you had  _ cum _ dried onto your  _ hair _ . What do you guys  _ do _ ?”

 

Baekhyun sucks in a breath like he’s going to explain so Jihoon shakes his head and his neighbor smirks with a wink instead. “Besides all of that, I just made a batch of cream puffs! Wanna have some? I think I have enough to give everyone on this floor some.”

 

Jihoon’s mouth waters at the thought of Baekhyun’s cream puffs. He doesn’t look like it, but Baekhyun is fiercely proud of his baking and won’t take anyone’s shit for it. “Of course, Baekhyun, do you even have to ask?”

 

Baekhyun laughs. “Okay, wait here! Lemme just grab the back, okay?”

 

He doesn’t wait for an answer and scuttles off to the apartment next to him. Jihoon is suddenly thankful  of the size of these apartments. He’s never noticed until now that even though Baekhyun likes to do  _ fucked _ up shit in bed, Jihoon can never hear because the walls are thick. (Plus the apartments are big and it’s thanks to Jeonghan’s generous paychecks.)

 

After about thirty seconds, Baekhyun comes by with a little pastry bag. “Put them in the freezer if you can’t eat them all, and make sure to throw them out if they’ve been in there for more than three days, okay?”

 

“You know this is going to be gone in seconds.” Jihoon waves the bag a little. “Thanks, I’ll enjoy! Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

 

“Okay, bye!” Baekhyun smiles and waves widely, swinging his arm in a big circle before Baekhyun’s dog struts out of the slightly open door, covered in flour and nose wet with blue frosting. Baekhyun curses before grabbing his dog and rushing into the apartment, the whirlwind of a person disappearing in a mere second.

 

“Should I be worried?” Jihoon freezes, nearly dropping the bag of cream puffs onto the floor.

 

“Seungcheol? What’re you doing here?” Jihoon feels like there should be applause in the background for not stammering. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

 

Seungcheol frowns petulantly and crosses his arms. His thick brows draw together and makes his already puppy-dog eyes even more puppy-dog-like. Baekhyun’s pet has nothing on Seungcheol.  _ No one has anything on Seungcheol.  _

 

“Do you want me to leave that bad?”

 

Jihoon’s resolve hardens. “Yes, please.”

 

Seungcheol lets out an exasperated sigh. “Jihoon, wait. I came to talk to you. About everything.”

 

“You’re not my boyfriend. You don't’ have to do that anymore.” Honestly, those words hurt Jihoon a lot. He regrets saying it. 

 

Seungcheol’s face falls. “Hey, I know that better than anyone, alright? Just  _ please _ , give me a chance to explain!”

 

Jihoon contemplates. He still wants Seungcheol back in his life and if he turns away now, there’s no way to know if Seungcheol is going to keep trying to amend things. So Jihoon steps into his apartment. 

 

“Sure, come in.”

 

Seungcheol smiles and suddenly rushes up to hug Jihoon. The giant difference in size between them feels good again. Jihoon likes the feeling of Seungcheol wrapping his arms around his thinner shoulders. 

 

Jihoon’s eyes are wet. He feels a sad sniffle coming on and quickly buries his head into the crook Seungcheol’s neck. 

 

“I missed you, Hoonie.” Seungcheol breathes his name out like it’s his oxygen and Jihoon is suddenly ready to drop every argument he’s had with Seungcheol about their countless issues and whatever-s. They seem irrelevant and miniscule when Seungcheol is standing in front of him. 

 

“Please kiss me.”

 

“Jihoon, I came to ta-”

 

“We’ll talk later, okay? I promise.” Jihoon’s never been the more ~ _ sexually active _ ~ boyfriend, and it was the same case in with Seungcheol. But now there’s a fire inside of his stomach and he wants to be  _ reckless,  _ even if it’s just once. “Please, just  _ kiss  _ me.”

 

And Seungcheol does. 

 

Thick fingers trace the hem of Jihoon’s shirt and others tug gently at Jihoon’s hair, pulling his chin up for Seungcheol to do whatever he wants with it. Jihoon nearly falls on his back when Seungcheol whispers an  _ I love you  _ into the sensitive middle of his clavicle, but Seungcheol catches him with a breathy laugh and starts walking. Jihoon’s too short to keep up the the strides so he lets Seungcheol half wrestle, half drag him into the bedroom. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon’s voice nearly cracks. “W-why?”

 

Seungcheol rather harshly shoves Jihoon onto the bed, quickly stripping off of his shirt and leaning over Jihoon. Jihoon’s mouth goes dry at the sight of his (ex?) boyfriend. 

 

“I don’t think I’m ever going to leave you alone.”

 

Jihoon smiles and hooks his legs behind Seungcheol, surprising the both of them when Seungcheol crashes down onto the top of Jihoon’s body. Seungcheol improvises and starts sliding his hands under Jihoon’s sweatshirt, the material riding up as he does so. 

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“A- hey!” Seungcheol suddenly rolls over and sits up, Jihoon following suit out of confusion. Seungcheol giggles and pulls Jihoon onto him so he’s straddling Seungcheol. 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” Seungcheol starts making his fingers trail lower, down the line of his spine and toys with the edge of Jihoon’s sweatpants. 

 

“Take it off, I don’t want to cum on it. I just got flashbacks of Baekhyun talking to me after pretty much washing his head with Chanyeol’s cum.”

 

Seungcheol makes a face as he pushes Jihoon’s body closer, knocking the breath out of them both. “You just killed my boner.”

 

Jihoon frowns petulantly and grinds down onto Seungcheol. “Oh, fuck no. You need to make up for everything.”

 

Seungcheol lets out a smile and Jihoon wants to drown in it. 

 

“Okay.”

 

They kiss again and Jihoon’s heart tugs against itself.

 

-

-

 

Jeonghan resists the urge to tap his foot against the floor as he waits for Jisoo to arrive. The cast came off yesterday, which means Jisoo no longer needs to get a ride from Jeonghan every night. Jeonghan falls into a pit of depression that he can’t seem to snap out of, the words of some document he’s supposed to be reading floating around and dancing across the paper. 

 

There’s a knock on the door and Jeonghan nearly sends the chair out the glass window behind him from how hard he stands up. Jisoo enters with a mildly amused smile playing with the corners of his lips. 

 

“Hey, you wanted to see me?”

 

Jeonghan smiles and clears his throat.  _ Keep it professional.  _

 

_ He doesn’t remember you. _

 

“Yeah, I just wanted a daily report of how everything’s going. I hear a lot of things have been going on?” Jeonghan ends his semi-question with playful smirk. 

 

“Well, Minghao and Mingyu left early to simultaneously get revenge on their lovers. Except Mingyu isn’t technically dating Wonwoo, so. Yeah.”

 

Jeonghan wrinkles his nose dramatically. “Don’t say the word  _ lover _ , you sound like a grandpa waiting for his grandson to get married.”

 

Jisoo giggles. “Is that what your grandpa calls you?”

 

Jeonghan blushes. “Whatever. You were saying?”

 

Jisoo purses his lips with a smile for a second before continuing. “I’ve tried to get a hold of Jihoon, but I heard you sent Seungcheol to him so I let it go.”

 

“How do you know it went well?”

 

Jisoo looks at him with a dead expression. “Seungcheol answered the phone on speaker while they were on their third round. Jihoon cursed at me,  _ me! _ ” Jisoo shudders. “The audacity of him!”

 

Jeonghan suddenly imagines doing what those two did with Jisoo and quickly turns around under the guise of fixing his chair to calm down his flush. 

 

“Yeah, the audacity.” Jeonghan turns around again after pushing his chair into the desk. Jisoo is suddenly right in front of him, eyes wide as he makes eye contact with Jeonghan. Jeonghan sputters as he backs up suddenly. Jisoo’s eyes narrow. 

 

“Are you that scared of touching me? It’s not like I  _ don’t _ remember you. It’s just that I can’t remember very  _ well _ . I’m not a new Jisoo, I’m not a new version of myself.” Jisoo presses on the wound in Jeonghan’s heart without a pause. “You said that no matter what or who I was, I’m the same Jisoo to you, isn’t that the same Jisoo you fell in love with before? I’m not saying that I want you or anything, but stop treating me like I’m going to break just because you want to act friendly! The doctor said that the more you act unnaturally, the harder it’s going to be for me to reme-”

 

Jeonghan doesn’t think about anything but the  _ pain _ digging into his body from every angle, burning through his skin like hot knives. He just pulls Jisoo flush against him by the lapels of his jacket and kisses him. 

 

Jeonghan doesn’t feel pleasure, doesn’t feel what he’s doing to Jisoo as he hungrily mouths at Jisoo’s unmoving lips, feeling the tears forming under his eyes. Jeonghan doesn’t dare to pull away even for breath and just focuses on gently tipping Jisoo’s face downwards so he can kiss him deeper. 

 

But he’s not a superhuman and Jeonghan lets go for air, briefly staring at Jisoo’s spit-slick lips and then the realization of what he’s done slams into him like a truck and he runs out of there. 

 

Jisoo doesn’t say anything as Jeonghan apologizes and sprints out the room. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jisoo, sorry, just, ignore that, I’m sorry-” Jeonghan just dashes for the door. “Sorry, Jisoo, Jisoo, God, fuck me. I’m so sorry.”

 

Leaving Jisoo behind in the empty room by himself makes Jeonghan want to cry even harder than he already is. 

 

-

-

 

Mingyu knocks on Minghao’s door at exactly seven P.M. sharp with one hand as the other clutches onto his basket. There’s food, chips, drinks (beer), movies, and a thin blanket on the bottom of it all inside of the wicker basket. The door opens quickly and Minghao stands in front of him, still dressed in his work clothes. 

 

“You’re right on time.”

 

“Yeah, no fucking shit, Hao. I live a floor below you.” Mingyu’s been to this apartment so many times that it’s practically half his. (Who cares about Mingyu being a nuisance when he can cook? The right answer is: no one.) 

 

Mingyu casually hands off the basket to Minghao and slides through the doorway, taking his slides off and slipping his socked feet into some slippers. 

 

“You look like you own the place, with your stupid pajamas.”

 

Mingyu doesn’t do more than stick up the middle finger as he trudged his away into the living room and throws himself onto the sofa. 

 

Landing on it with a loud bang, Mingyu whistles when he sees the neatly stacked blankets and pillow. 

 

“You guys still sleep separately?”

 

“Jun’s a PA. He said he doesn’t like being too far from a bed.”

 

Mingyu deadpans. “The room is r-right t-there?” Mingyu watches as his friend takes a beer can from the basket and listens as it cracks open. 

 

“Want one?” Minghao asks, and Mingyu nods. “Here, catch.”

 

Mingyu looks up and catches the beer can and opens it up, taking a long sip. 

 

“Change into your pj’s, Hao. You look uncomfortable.”

Mingaho doesn’t disagree and scuttles into his room and comes out quickly with a set of linen pajamas, holding it in front of Mingyu’s face. 

 

Mingyu rolls his eyes. “Here, take your shirt off first, I’ll unbutton these.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re a  _ child _ , Hao.”

 

“Shut up and dress me.” 

 

“Where is he? Where is Jun, anyways?”

 

Minghao frowns. “Out.”

 

“With?”

 

“I don’t know, probably is d-”

 

The door suddenly beeps open and a tired Jun dragging someone’s body appears. Mingyu nearly screams and nearly scratches Minghao’s bare chest with his nails as his arms jerk up in shock. 

 

The body is actually  _ Wonwoo _ , and Minghao leaps up from his seat. 

 

“What the hell happened, Jun? Weren’t you out with-”

 

Jun holds up a hand and dumps Wonwoo onto the floor, who then groans as he moves onto his knees.

 

“Wonwoo said he wanted to talk and he got drunk and-” Jun frowns, a deep wrinkle settling in between his forhead and his eyes growing watery. “What are you guys doing?”

 

Mingyu and Minghao suddenly become  _ that  _ much more aware that Mingyu is literally holding onto Minghao’s half naked body whilst changing him. They scramble away from each other and Wonwoo starts to rise from the dead. 

 

“My head hurts.” Jun turns around and glares daggers into Wonwoo, who’s flushed and red with drunkenness. He’s trying to stand up on his own but his knees wobble. 

 

Minghao leans into Mingyu’s ear and whispers, “Take Wonwoo and get it, it worked!”

 

Mingyu doesn’t blink or think and rushes to grab Wonwoo from where he’s standing almost limply next to Jun. 

“Bye!”

 

Mingyu shoves his shoes on, grabs Wonwoo’s shoes, and pulls the both of them out the door. 

 

Mingyu sends up a prayer to Heaven that his best friend will finally get the dick he’s missed. 

 

And then Wonwoo falls on top of him and Mingyu suddenly wants to turn back around to curse Jun out. 

 

-

-

 

Jisoo feels cold in his apartment. 

 

The walls aren’t the color that he likes. 

 

The succulents are stupid. 

 

The pictures of Jisoo smiling and just  _ being _ with Jeonghan are stupid. 

 

Everything that the old Jisoo had is stupid. 

 

He hates it. 

 

Jisoo hates the pictures, the smiles, the paint, the  _ absolute everything _ about this apartment and how  _ not _ him it is. 

 

It’s the Jisoo from the past. 

 

It’s not him. 

 

Jisoo hates it. 

 

Jisoo loves Jeonghan. 

 

Jisoo hates it. 

 

_ I love him.  _

  
  



	13. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the shortness but then like?? i have PlAnS okay

Wonwoo wakes up with pain just shooting out from everywhere. There’s a heavy throbbing in his head and every muscle in his body feels strained. 

 

_ Especially _ his ass. 

 

When Wonwoo tries to move over, the lower part of his body screams out against it, telling him to  _ please stop _ , and so Wonwoo drops his hands back on the bed - 

 

That’s not his. 

 

Wonwoo curses. 

 

It’s not his bed. 

 

His eyes fly open with anxiety, hoping that  _ maybe _ he didn’t have a one night stand with a stranger, and that his butthole was just throbbing for no reason. 

 

But Wonwoo isn’t a dumbass. 

 

Looking around, Wonwoo notices that the room feels warm and cozy, and then his eyes meet Mingyu’s sleeping face and he nearly lets out a scream. 

 

Mingyu's sitting upright on a chair across the bed, but he’s sleeping. His arms are crossed loosely, and his hair drapes over his eyes and there are cowlicks here and there, indicating that he wasn’t on the chair the whole night. 

 

Wonwoo forces his body to get up and he hobbles over to Mingyu. He’s about to push his hair back when he notices how puffy his eyelids are. 

 

Like he’s been crying and then fell asleep.

 

Wonwoo frowns and murmurs, “Why were you c-”

 

And then the memories of last night throw themselves into Wonwoo’s face. 

  
  


_ “Wonwoo, I know you’re drunk, but come and walk, please! At least to my apartment, okay? I’ll figure-” Wonwoo sloppily shoves Mingyu away, his hand hitting Mingyu’s shoulder but the impact sends him reeling forward. Mingyu’s nagging is too loud for his drunk self to process.  _

 

_ “I- I can w-” Wonwoo hiccups, his vision turning blurry. “I- can walk.” _

 

_ Wonwoo sighs and heaves his body up, but Mingyu lets out a groan and Wonwoo stumbles along to wherever Mingyu is bringing them. After a tumultuous ten minutes, Wonwoo finds himself finally at a stop, resting his head against a cool metal surface.  _

 

_ “You’re blocking the door, you drunk asshole.” Wonwoo watches as Mingyu glares at him and pushes him off of the surface and opens it. Wonwoo lets out a drunken laugh. The trek sobered him up a little bit but with the amount of alcohol he’s downed that night, he’s still barely able to coordinate his movements.  _

 

_ Wonwoo flaps a hand in the air. “S-sorry.” _

 

_ Another hiccup makes Wonwoo’s shoulders go forward, and in turn, he lurches into the doorway and nearly lands on his knees. Mingyu catches his arm on time, but he painfully yanks him up. Wonwoo lets out a whine.  _

 

_ “Go to the bedroom, Wonwoo. Sleep it off.” _

 

_ Mingyu gently pushes him into a room with light blue walls and a wide, white bed. His vision is too blurry to distinguish anything else. Wonwoo crashes onto it and giggles. It’s so, so soft against his body and his headache starts to die. Mingyu groans again and takes out a shirt from the closet. Grumbling, he sits on the bed and undoes the shirt he’s got on now.  _

 

_ Wonwoo smiles.  _

 

_ He grabs Mingyu’s hand and drags him down so that in order to not crush Wonwoo, he’ll have to place an arm over Wonwoo’s head. Wonwoo giggles and touches the barely-there outline of muscle on his abdomen. Mingyu shivers before anything else.  _

 

_ “Can you fuck off? I’m trying to change.” _

 

_ Wonwoo grins and pulls Mingyu onto him, kissing him sloppily, but with all the passion he can muster. He feels Mingyu stiffen up but then he starts to comply, their lips and tongues moving over each other languidly, passively.  _

 

_ Wonwoo toes at the edge of the water, wants to see how far Mingyu is willing to go. A drunk voice in his head tells him to do something more.  _

 

_ Wonwoo lets out a little moan, and the hands that are on Mingyu’s naked back start to gently move down and up wherever they want. One goes up Mingyu’s hair and starts carding through it gently, and the other moves to the front of his neck and wraps the side loosely so he can pull Mingyu in better.  _

 

_ Mingyu is doing so, so well until he pulls away with a gasp. Wonwoo watches, slightly puzzled, as to why Mingyu is glaring.  _

 

_ “Was that not good?” Wonwoo tilts his head. Did Mingyu not like it?  _

 

_ Because Wonwoo liked it. _

 

_ “You’re drunk.” _

 

_ “Yeah, but not enough to know that I don’t want this.” _

 

_ Mingyu growls. “Fuck off, Wonwoo. Go play with someone else’s emotions.” _

 

_ Wonwoo’s stomach lurches. “Don’t you like me? I thought you liked me.” The words come out like, well, word vomit. “I like you too, Mingyu, why can’t we do this? Am I gross?” _

 

_ Mingyu’s eyes narrow. Wonwoo somehow understands it, in his wasted state. That Mingyu can’t trust the words of someone so drunk. So he starts unbuttoning his own shirt, looking down and trying not to fumble around. Stupid impaired movement. He struggles to pull it off and Mingyu does nothing but sit and watch with shock.  _

_ “Wh-what the hell do you think you’re doing?” _

 

_ Wonwoo doesn’t answer and instead, he notices the nightstand besides the bed. Hellbent on getting what he wants today, he clumsily reaches over and opens the drawer.  _

 

_ A notebook, random pens, more things he doesn’t need. Finally, after sifting through the contents, Wonwoo finds condoms and lube. He grabs them at the same time Mingyu pulls his hand away. Honestly, he’s surprised that Mingyu didn’t try to stop him earlier. _

 

_ “Why? It’s good to be safe!” Wonwoo laughs and tosses the lube into the air along with the condom box. They land somewhere on the bed.  _

 

_ “You’re illegally going through my-” _

_ “Oh, shut up.” _

 

_ Wonwoo aggressively places himself on top of Mingyu, and pulls his arm free. Wonwoo kisses him again and this time, starts to move on top of Mingyu’s lap. His breath comes out ragged as he delves himself between the pleasure.  _

 

_ “Wonwoo, you’re dru-” _

 

_ “Do you want this?” Wonwoo slides his hands down the front of Mingyu’s body and it reacts by trembling. “Do you want me?” _

 

_ Mingyu lets out a sigh. “Fuck me.” His eyes look like they’ve given up.  _

 

_ Like he wants to lose himself for a little bit. _

 

_ Wonwoo smirks. “No, I hope it’s the other way around.” _

 

_ Wonwoo kisses Mingyu harder this time, gently biting the bottom of his lips and starts to undo this pants. The belt comes off with some struggle and Wonwoo flushes with embarrassment when Mingyu has to stop Wonwoo for a little to get his jeans off. He’s left in his boxers, which he finds unfair.  _

 

_ Mingyu starts again, but stacks pillows behind his back so they’re at a better angle. Wonwoo hears himself begging and for what, he doesn’t know.  _

 

_ Mingyu gently kisses the front of his chest before moving a hand down to the hem of Wonwoo’s underwear. They ghost around his skin and dance on Wonwoo’s thighs, driving him insane with the amount of want that he has.  _

 

_ Wonwoo finally loses it and pushes himself on top of Mingyu, feeling the both of them growing hard.  _

 

_ Mingyu lets out a small gasp. “Are you sure?” _

 

_ Wonwoo nods in between Mingyu’s neck and shoulder.  _

 

_ “Yes, please.” _

 

Wonwoo gasps as he snaps back to the present, not wanting to relive what followed after. 

 

He knows that the both of them enjoyed it, but then why did Mingyu cry?

 

_ What did I say to you _ ?

 

Wonwoo realizes how  _ naked  _ he is and lets out a sharp breath. He rushes around the room, picking up his various articles of clothing. He needs to be careful, lest his asshole  _ rips _ , but the sense of panic that rises within him makes him ignore everything. 

 

Wonwoo’s finally getting the last thing on, his shirt, when Mingyu jolts awake. 

Wonwoo’s suspicions are mostly  _ definitely _ proven correct. The rings around Mingyu’s eyes are concerning, but it’s obvious that he was crying. The skin around his eyes are puffy and the whites of his eyes are slightly tinged with red. 

 

Mingyu scoffs, but the sound is ragged. Like he broke his throat or something. 

 

“Are you gonna run out now?”

 

Wonwoo drops his hands. “No, I was just changing. Why’d you cry?” Wonwoo might as well just get to the point. 

 

Mingyu touches his eyes with a hand and lets out a mirthless chuckle. “Because I was sad, I guess.”

 

Wonwoo decides to take a seat at the edge of Mingyu’s bed, taking in a sharp breath when the pain in his legs comes back. Mingyu flinches but makes no move to do anything. 

 

“Why were you sad, Mingyu? Did I say something?” Wonwoo racks his brain for anything that he could have possibly let slip but nothing comes up. 

 

“You wanna know?”

 

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu. He looks tired and absolutely done with something. Maybe himself. 

 

“Yes, I want to know.”

 

Mingyu frowns deeply, the look of sadness on his face melting into one of anger. “I’m sad because the guy that I have had the biggest  _ fucking _ crush on for the last five years won’t even acknowledge me, and then yesterday, you pulled that,  _ oh, have sex with me, Mingyu! Look at me!  _ And then I did, Wonwoo! I had sex with you.” Mingyu swings his arms open like he’s presenting something. But Mingyu lets out an exasperated gasp before starting again. “And then now, you’re going to leave and I’m going to have to quit like Jihoon, my  _ God _ !”

 

Mingyu drops himself into his chair and starts crying again. The sobs rack through his body and Wonwoo finds himself walking over to him, his heartbeat thumping against his chest.

 

Kneeling in front of Mingyu, Wonwoo sighs as he pushes Mingyu’s hands away from his face. Mingyu angrily bites his lips. His eyes are narrowed and red. 

 

“Did I say I was going to leave?”

 

Mingyu sniffles. “ _ What _ ?”

 

Wonwoo lets out a small laugh. It comes out huffy and Mingy frowns. “I didn’t say I was going to leave you, right?”

 

Wonwoo gently sighs and brushes the tears off of Mingyu’s face, taking his time so Mingyu can stop his hiccuping. Once Mingyu calms down, he presses his lips into Mingyu’s, relishing the warmth that comes from them. 

 

Mingyu pulls away suddenly, and stares at Wonwoo with a baffled look on his face. 

 

“Are we dating?”

 

Wonwoo laughs, surprised by the question. 

 

_ He’s cute. _

 

His heart bounces again. 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

Mingyu smiles and pulls Wonwoo onto his lap. “Merry Christmas.”

 

-

-

 

Jun wraps his arms tighter around his legs, waiting a bit nervously for Minghao to finish washing up in the bathroom. 

 

Minghao appears in front of him suddenly, and Jun scrambles to stand up. Jun clumsily smacks Minghao on the thigh as he stands up. 

 

“Jun, we should talk.” Minghao swallows, but his eyes close like it physically hurts to do it. “I’m tired of acting like everything’s been fine.”

 

Jun nods. “Yeah, me too.” Jun points to the couch. “Let’s go to the couch, ‘kay?”

 

Minghao doesn’t respond, just walks to the sofa and sets himself down. He looks down at his hands. 

“Jun, do you want to break up?”

 

Jun’s taken back by the question.  _ Wasn’t this talk going to be about getting back together?  _ Jun’s heart skips a beat when he realizes that yeah, he really does want to get back together with Minghao. 

 

_ I want him back _ . 

 

Jun wants to throw himself on Minghao and give him everything that he has but Minghao looks like he’s about to break down. 

 

“Jun, can you answer me?” Minghao sniffles and Jun can already tell that he’s about to start crying. “Do you want to break up?”

 

Jun stands up from where he’s sitting. “Minghao, no, I don’t.” Jun feels his hands starting to shake and cups Minghao’s face with his hands. Minghao closes his eyes and turns his head away, but doesn’t make an effort to move out of his hands. 

 

“Then why won’t you tell me?” Minghao pulls Jun down on the sofa next to him and climbs over his leg to straddle Jun. Minghao buries his head between Jun’s head and shoulder. 

 

Jun wills the tears to not fall and hugs Minghao into him, he feels the warmth bleed out of his skinny body but can’t help but wince at the feeling to his thin bones poking out of his clothes. Jun just pulls him closer. 

 

“Because I was scared.” Jun can easily wrap a single arm around Minghao’s middle with space left over. He squeezes Minghao’s thigh with a hand. “I’m sorry.”

 

Minghao nods in the crook of Jun’s neck. “We’ll talk later, right?”

 

Jun sighs into Minghao’s hair. It smells like citrus. 

 

Jun’s missed it. 

 

“Of course.”

 

-

-

 

Jisoo clears his throat, trying to figure out how he should go about telling Jeonghan that he  _ loves  _ him. It’s weird, because it’s like it’s a new person that’s he’s become, but he still feels the pull towards Jeonghan, like no matter what he does, he’ll get sucked back into his orbit. 

 

Jisoo decides that one way or another, he’s going to get his confession out today because there’s no point in holding things back. Jisoo suspects that he wasn’t like that before, since everyone makes it a point to be surprised when Jisoo asks for things on his own or when he gets strict with people. 

 

He finally gathers the nerve to knock on Jeonghan’s door. The guards had let him in with a smile and Jisoo had felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity as he walked up the gardened path to his house. Jisoo can’t help but open his mouth in awe as he followed the trail, marble stones laying under thick sheets of rock. Jisoo shakes his head to get his thoughts in order. 

 

Some woman finally opens the door, her neat black outfit crisp and perfectly shows how Jeonghan is sometimes  _ too much _ for anyone, completely swamping everyone out with his presence and making up for lost bits with his money. She silently bows curtly and allows Jisoo to step in. 

 

“Jeonghan-ssi is in his study-” The lady tilts her head. “But you don’t know the way, do you? Should I lead the way?”

 

Jisoo smiles sheepishly. She doesn’t return it. “That would be great, thank you.”

 

“Very well.”

Jisoo follows the lady up until they reach a giant set of double doors, made of oak. 

 

“Please go in, Jeonghan-ssi will probably be expecting you.”

 

Jisoo nods in thanks and wipes a sweaty hand off on his pants. He sucks in a trembling breath and pushes the door open. 

 

The study is enormous, two stories tall and bookshelves covering the two walls on the side. The entire back wall is curtained, but it’s evident that there are windows. There’s a fireplace that sections off under a bookshelf-wall and has two armchairs in front of it. A mahogany table is set in front of it with a couple of papers and books scattered around on it, and a single vase of lillies in the center. 

 

Every breath that Jisoo lets out feels like an insult against the feeling of absolute  _ money _ that permeates within. Jeonghan looks up in surprise and gets up from his seat. It’s behind a wide desk that’s in front of the curtained windows. 

 

“Jisoo!” Jeonghan motions for Jisoo to go to the armchairs. “What do you need?”

 

Jisoo sits down lightly on the chair, ready to sprint out of there if this whole thing goes to shit. 

 

“Okay, well, there’s no point in not saying it now.” Jisoo clears his throat and Jeonghan crosses his legs, a concerned expression flashing across his face. “I, um, came to the realization that-”

 

Jisoo’s phone rings. He curses mentally, ready to just turn it off but the name on the screen prevents him from doing so. 

 

“Who is it?”

 

Jisoo swallows. “It’s Chan. Let me just take this call.”

 

The ringer almost turns off but Jisoo clicks the  _ accept  _ button and places the phone on speaker. “Hey, Chan, do you ne-”

 

“H-hyung, please get m-me-” Chan sniffles and then starts sobbing through the phone, and the two of them immediately stand up. Jeonghan rushes over to his desk and grabs his jacket from the back of his chair. “I- I don’t like it here-”

 

Jisoo can’t stop his hand from shaking, like there’s a windup toy in his hand that he needs to keep from falling. “I - where are you? Where are you Chan, I’m coming, okay? Chan?” Chan continues to sob and Jeonghan clutches his wrist, silently pulling him out of the study. Jeonghan slams the door open, the thick door smashing into the wall loudly. Jisoo’s teeth knock together. 

 

“Get my car out!” Jeonghan barks. A staff member waiting by the door quickly snaps to attentions and yells something into his earpiece. 

 

“I’m at EXO, I don’t - I’m in the back parki-” Chan hiccups violently, the sound of it tinny and echoey over the phone. 

 

“I’ll be there!”

 

Everything in Jisoo’s head clears out and the pounding of his feet against the pavement is the only thing he hears. Jeonghan lets out some curse about his house being too big or something and Jisoo stumbles over his feet. He can feels Jeonghan push him into the car but the cold sweat that breaks out over his forehead feels strange. 

 

Like everything’s out of body. 

 

“Jisoo, where is he?”

 

“EXO.” Jisoo takes in a breath and closes his eyes. “Do you know where that is?”

 

Jeonghan clenches his jaw and backs out of the car rather carelessly, nearly smashing into a marble statue. The horrified face of a stone angel makes eye contact with Jisoo. 

 

“Yeah.” Jeonghan punches the window at his side with a muffled scream. Jisoo flinches away, the murderous glinting in Jeonghan’s eyes brightly. “Fuck! I’m going to shut that place down.”

 

“W-why? Is it not just a club?” Jisoo feels himself shake. 

 

Jeonghan steps on the gas pedal and the car lurches out of the driveway and into the street. 

 

“It’s a place that makes Hell look clean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit i wonder whats gonna happen??? 
> 
> and also im so sorry for the short chapter but it's test season and break is starting and ive got to back to america and its a whole mess and yeah lsdkjfls
> 
> and also thank you so much for the love, im so glad that you guys enjoy these fics. I'm sorry for the short chapter but "the perfect man" will be updated tomorrow and it'll be twice as long as usual so i guess ill make up for it? 
> 
> i hope everyone has the lovliest holidays and please enjoy yourselves and take time with your family and please be happy and healhy! i will probably update once more before the new year, depending on how my schdecule lets up. 
> 
> i want to start writing more about when i'll update on a new twitter i created for this but idk what im gonna do yet. 
> 
> thank you so much and please all be happy! mwah!!


	14. something happens.......and then something else happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unrelated but hi! idols are ppl aswell and also that means they can date and kiss kiss fall in love who are you to say they dont deserve love :) bye!

Jeonghan speeds into the parking lot of a nightclub that practically pulses on its own. Jisoo grabs onto the seat belt so hard his fingers start turning white but he doesn’t dare close his eyes as Jeonghan slams on the brakes and shoves his car into a corner in the back.

 

“I’d like you to stay but I won’t stop you if you’re coming.”

 

Jisoo frowns. “I’m not  _ weak _ , you know. I’m not going to start crying if I see something bad.” But Jisoo swallows. By  _ bad _ , he means,  _ someone doing drugs in the corner  _ or  _ stoner in the middle of talking about his life crisis to a kitchen rat _ .

 

Jeonghan clicks his seatbelt. “I know, I meant that I don’t want you to see me punching someone.”

 

“Why woul-”

 

“You don’t know this place.”

 

Jisoo’s right. 

 

But Chan called him so Jisoo sucks in a deep breath, looks at the flickering lights of the sign, and Jeonghan nods. 

 

“Let’s go, then.”

 

The hallway leading into the main club smells like vomit and vodka. An amazing combination of the world’s worst things. Jisoo resists the urge to suck in a deep breath. People stare at Jisoo and Jeonghan and roll their eyes. Jisoo knows it’s because of what they look like. 

 

Everyone is wearing black, things that are ripped up, t-shirts, and most of them have some sort of tattoo or piercing on their body. On the other hand, Jeonghan and Jisoo are both dressed up in their office wear. It doesn’t help that Jeonghan’s coat as the Balenciaga logo written out across the front. 

 

Suddenly, someone bursts through the crowd and lunges at Jisoo. 

 

He knows it’s Chan even before he can see the person’s face. 

 

“Hyung!” Chan sobs into Jisoo’s shoulder, wet tears soaking through the fabric of his coat. Jisoo wraps his arms instinctively around Chan’s shoulders and holds him tightly, making eye contact with Jeonghan. Jeonghan’s jaw sets. 

 

“What happened?” Jisoo runs his hand through Chan’s hair to try to get him to stop crying. “Did anything happen?” Jisoo notices how many people are looking at him, but Chan grips onto Jisoo’s coat like if he lets go, someone’s going to pull him off. 

 

“I-I said I didn’t want to c-come-” Chan hiccups and it rips through his body, rippling down his arms and causing his hands to shake. There’s murmuring in the crowd. Jeonghan takes a hand out of his pocket and places it on Chan’s back. Chan looks up in surprise. “Huh? I-”

 

“What happened?” Jeonghan’s voice is stormy but quiet and the intent of murder vibrates behind his scarily-calm voice. 

 

Chan starts to shiver and Jisoo opens up his coat and pulls Chan’s arms in so he can try to get warm. “I don’t k-know, I- he, I just, he said he wanted to introduce me to hi-” Chan shudders so violently that his elbows knock into Jisoo’s ribs. People full on stare at his point, and Jisoo’s only thought is to keep Chan covered. “-friends, and I just- sorry, I’m-”

 

“Hey! Chan, what the fuck!” Someone comes barreling through the blob of people, except they don’t really have to because everyone just spreads like some kind of Anti-Christic Moses. Jisoo looks up. Chan whimpers. Jeonghan mutters something that is most  _ definitely _ not family-friendly. 

 

“Hey, who the fuck are you?” Jeonghan draws his shoulders out, making him look bigger than he actually is. Normally, he’s a bit shorter than Jisoo (Jisoo will never  _ not _ remind people of that), but his shoulders and back are wider and he works out a bit more (a lot more) than Jisoo does, so he’d at least have a chance at fighting. 

 

The person who Chan’s scared of is pretty big, but nothing like Jisoo imagined. He had pictured someone very WWE-wrestler-esque with tattoos and piercing and no hair and a jacked up body that dragged Chan in here against his will, not some,  _ some _ …

 

_ Kid _ . 

 

The person that Jisoo is looking at can’t be older than the age of twenty-four, with a baby face and lanky body that isn’t very muscular. 

 

“Chan, c’mon, babe, you shouldn't just leave your  _ boyfr- _ ”

 

“Fuck off, dude.” Jeonghan steps in between Jisoo and Chan when the person takes a step forward. Even the walls themselves suck a breath, the tension palpable and thick. 

 

The little kid boy looks up and down Jeonghan once and tilts his head in an almost mocking way. “Hey, I’m flattered, but you’re not my type.”

 

“What the  _ hell _ did you do to Chan?” Jeonghan draws even closer, spitting the words out like venom. The  _ teen _ turns his head and leans into Jeonghan’s ear. 

 

“I tried to  _ fuck _ him, ‘kay? Now, leave,  _ dad _ , but this shit doesn’t concern you.” Chan’s mouth lets out a strangled noise and Jisoo turns so Chan’s back is towards him. 

 

“Go away, S-s-eonghwa-” Chan hiccups again. 

 

“Hey, babe, you’re the one who fucking bit me-” Seonghwa raises an arm with a furious face as if he’s going to punch him but Jeonghan calmly steps in at the last minute and takes the blow. He hardly flinches, or  _ moves _ , for the matter. Seonghwa looks surprised. 

 

“Don’t touch either of them.”

 

“Or you’ll what, you fucking rat?” Seonghwa scoffs. “Fight me?”

 

Jeonghan’s eyes glisten and Jisoo backs up a little bit. The crowd moves backwards with him. 

 

“I don’t punch first.” Jeonghan takes off his gloves slowly, as if he’s giving Seonghwa a chance to back down. 

 

“Well, that’s fine.” Seonghwan shucks off his jacket and throws it to a person who came out with him. “Because I do.”

 

The punch is wide and Jeonghan easily backs away, taking a tiny little step back to avoid what looks like Seonghwa’s best work. Jisoo gulps. Seonghwa growls. 

 

“I’d stop now if I were you.” Jeonghan’s eyes flicker with disgust. 

 

“Huh, if you didn’t talk, I’d try and fuck you, maybe.”

 

“Hit me.” Jisoo chews on the inside of his cheek. If Jeonghan can get Seonghwa to start a fight, he can’t get in trouble for fighting back. But Seonghwa can’t be  _ that _ stupid, right?

 

He is. 

 

Seonghwa stomps and lets out a guttural scream, to which the people in the club respond by averting their eyes or returning to their seats like nothing happened. Jisoo drags his feet against the concrete floor and Chan stumbles along with him. 

 

Seonghwa swings again, and this time, Jeonghan doesn’t move back to block it. It lands with a heavy thump on the center of Jeonghan’s shoulder. Jeonghan smirks. 

 

“Fucking fight, you bastard!” Seonghwa draws his arms in and Jeonghan rolls out his shoulders. He’s trying to tease Seonghwa by acting like it didn’t hurt. 

 

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything as he curls up and fist and there’s no time on Seonghwa’s part to react when it goes flying through the air, cutting through the chill with silence and it lands on Seonghwa’s jaw with a loud crack. Jeonghan shakes off his hand once, his knuckles bright red. 

 

Seonghwa spits out red saliva and cracks his neck. He stays quiet as he places his feet apart, in a silent welcoming for Jeonghan to do it again. 

 

So Jeonghan does. 

 

With a swift kick, Jeonghan sends Seonghwa sprawling backwards with a sickening thumping sound. Chan whimpers and Jeonghan gives him a look that tells him,  _ get out.  _

 

Jisoo pulls Chan towards the exit when Jeonghan starts kicking. Seonghwa screams with a blood-curling intensity but the kicks don’t stop and Chan cries as Jisoo shoves him along. Everyone who had scoffed at them before look away now, as if meeting eyes with them is going to get them killed. 

 

Chan shivers in his seat and Jisoo decides that he’ll ride in the back with him. 

 

“Did he t-”

 

Chan’s eyes open. “N-no, I-I just thought that he was-” Chan gulps and Jisoo feels sorry that there’s no water in the car. “-he was a sunbae at school and I liked him before, you know? And when we met by chance at the park and he invited me to this place, I took it and then, well, yeah.”

 

“Do you want to press charges?”

 

Chan lets out a small giggle. Jisoo sits up straighter in surprise. “What? No, I’d be relieved if  _ he  _ didn’t press charges. I just hope he doesn’t break anything.”

 

Jisoo thinks about how casually Jeonghan had landed the blows on Seonghwa’s rib cages, like it didn’t  _ matter _ to him that he was most likely breaking someone else’s bones. The crunch had made Jisoo nauseous. 

 

Jisoo stays silent and leans over to hug Chan. 

 

“Ow!”

 

Jisoo pulls back immediately. “Are you okay?”

 

“Y-yeah, I’m-” Jisoo leans over and places a hand on Chan’s stomach and presses down. Chan yelps in surprise.

 

“Hey, lift up your shirt.”

 

Chan shrugs. “I’m good.”

 

“Chan.”

 

Chan groans. “Fine.”

 

Chan gently raises the hem of the t-shirt and Jisoo gasps. Hist stomach is mottled with green and black and purple, spreading out from right on top of his belly button and out the sides a little and then right below his sternum. 

 

“I don’t care if Jeonghan broke that bastard’s rib cages.” Jisoo lets Chan pull down his shirt and the car door opens. 

 

“Thank you.” Jeonghan flicks his hair over his eyes and sighs. He places his hands on the steering wheel and Jisoo flickers his eyes away because there’s blood on his knuckles coating the rough edges of his palm. 

 

Jisoo leans back in his seat. 

 

“Let’s go home.”

 

-

-

  
  


“Guys, I really think we need to do something about Mingyu and Wonwoo.” Jisoo watches his little interest as Seokmin leans into the center of a little circle that he, Hansol, Chan, and Seungkwan have created. The glint in his eye is conspiratory. 

 

Mingyu remains perfectly oblivious to everything and Jisoo sighs. 

 

Seokmin flits his eyes to Jisoo with a silent plead. 

 

“Mingyu, could you go see Seungcheol? He asked for you.”

 

Seokmin’s surprised at Jisoo’s compliance. 

 

“Why?” Hansol asks, once Mingyu’s done with his grumbling and safely down the hall. 

Seokmin laces his fingers together. “Well, I know they’ve never been too close but after they fought and made up, it’s like they can’t be in the same room together without being awkward. Like earlier today, in the break room, they met eyes and Mingyu immediately got a red and sweaty and he started stammering.” Seokmin snaps. “He was a  _ mess _ .”

 

“But he’s always a mess.” Minghao looks up through his lashes. Seungkwan nods along in agreement. 

 

Seokmin frowns. “That’s not the  _ point _ . Clearly, Mingyu still likes him.”

 

“I get that a lot of us here are half of couples that have been through shit, but what exactly do you want us to do?” Minghao makes a face. “It’s not like your other plans have gone over very well.”

 

Seokmin takes offense to that. His plans always work out! Like that time the copy machine got jammed;  _ sure _ , he broke it, but the point was, he was the one that got the office a new one! And that one time he printed out 3,000 sheets worth of flyers with a typo on it.  _ Yeah _ , it costed a shit ton of money to get it fixed and Jeonghan nearly passed out upon hearing it, but he had learned something! (Which, specifically, was that no mistake was ever allowed again under Jeonghan’s rule and if he did his dick would personally be cut off of him with a lawn clipper.)

 

Jisoo chooses at this very moment for some  _ fucking _ reason that he wants tea, but fumbles with the canister of tea leaves and Seokmin’s would-be rant about the  _ importance _ of getting young gay men who clearly like each other to fuck is cut off when the leaves explode into the air with a bang. 

 

Minghao blanks. “Hyung, I know you’re not yourself these days, but-” Minghao makes a vague motion towards the mess. “Why?”

 

Jisoo glares at him. “Shut up and help me.”

 

“You know, after you had your accident, you curse more.”

 

“I’ll say something worse than  _ shut up _ if you don’t help me clean.”

 

“Guys! Listen!” Seokmin slams his hands down impatiently on his desk. “Can we get back to discussing how to get them to shag?”

 

Jihoon pops in at this moment. Seokmin doesn’t even realize that Jihoon’s back and lets out a string of curses. 

 

“That sounds fun, but how about welcoming me back first?”

 

The realization hits Seokmin and seemingly everyone else in the room, that  _ Jihoon _ has come back from whatever depth of hell he crawled out of. Everyone starts screaming and crowds Jihoon.

 

“I’m never going to finish my talk, am I?” Seokmin slumps into his seat and Seungkwan offers him a spectacularly sheepish expression. 

 

“No offense, but you used the word  _ shag _ . That’s on you.”

 

-

-

 

Jihoon’s back stings from the slaps he’s received on his back, especially from Hansol and Chan. Their enthusiasm is cute but it fucking hurts. 

 

But still, nothing is as painful as having to listen to Seokmin’s God-awful plan on how to get Mingyu and Wonwoo locked into a closet together. 

 

Except. 

 

There’s no closet on this floor. 

 

So. 

 

Seokmin decides for everyone that they somehow need to disable Wonwoo’s lock from working from the inside and at the same time, get Mingyu and Wonwoo into the office to lock them in. 

 

Jihoon sighs when he gets his role as the person actually  _ in charge _ of getting the lock to break from the inside. 

 

“Why? What makes you think I know how to disable a lock?”

 

Hansol shrugs at the same time Minghao announces, “You just look like the type of person who’s done this before.”

 

“You’re right, Minghao. I most  _ definitely _ have broken locks before for other people who want their friends to  _ shag _ in an office.”

 

Minghao narrows his eyes. “You’re testy.”

 

“And you’re stupid.”

 

Seokmin steps into the center of the two of them before they get into their emo-mean-insults and clears his throat. 

 

Hansol also leans his head in. “But like, yes or no? Can you do the lock thing?”

 

Jihoon watches at Hansol’s hands turn white from squeezing Seungkwan’s wrist tightly, as if out of anticipation. 

 

Jihoon tilts his head. “Of course.”

 

Everybody cheers. 

 

Jihoon most definitely does  _ not _ know how to break locks. 

 

-

-

 

At first, Chan was also against the whole room lock-in thing. Because this wasn’t how he played it out inside his head, his romantic little head. 

 

They were supposed to fight! And then make up with lovey-dovey comments! There was supposed to be a dramatic confession or a big gesture! But Minghao shook his head knowingly. 

 

“Those things don’t happen IRL, Chan.”

 

“Please don’t abbreviate words ever again.” Chan points to himself. “You’re too old.”

 

Minghao teasingly pinches Chan’s cheek and stalks off to do his job. Which is to say that he forgot to hand in papers to Wonwoo for the financial review and he doesn’t feel like handing them in, but he’s in the cafeteria so you might have to look for him, and so Mingyu, could you please be a dear and do it for me?

 

Mingyu agrees like a rabid dog, trying to stay discreet in his excitement about having an excuse to go see Wonwoo but failing when the papers crinkle under his grip. 

 

“And remember, go to the cafeteria and look for him  _ directly _ .”

 

Mingyu gives a thumbs up to Minghao. Chan sighs and swings his legs around, which in turn causes his chair to spin. He gives everyone a magnificent view of the inside of his mouth when he yawns. He’s tired from yesterday and the bruises still hurt like a bitch. Jisoo’s as quiet as ever, but his eyes glint with strange happiness at the door. (Is he excited for this?)

 

Jihoon lets out a groan. “C’mon, Chan, you’ve got to stand as lookout.”

 

Chan gets up quietly and follows Jihoon into the west wing of the floor, and brings them to the door of Wonwoo’s office. Jihoon gets settled on his quickly, opening the locking and stabbing an unfolded paper clip into the inside of a nail. 

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

“Trying to unscrew the handle, I guess. I don’t know.”

 

“With a  _ paperclip? _ ”

 

“I’ll have you know that these are extra heavy duty paper clips.” Chan nods, wholly unimpressed with Jihoon’s valiant efforts to unscrew the little bolts with a fucking  _ paper clip _ . 

 

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

 

Jihoon scoffs. “What made it obvious? My unwavering confidence in accomplishing something that one in history has probably ever had to fucking do, or the Wikihow article on my computer screen?”

 

Chan bites back a cheeky response, although, he’s not entirely sure how to respond so he settles on asking about the elephant in the room. 

 

“How’d you get to come back?”

 

Jihoon throws the paper clip into the depths of the hallway corner and whips out a sturdier stick of metal with tiny little ridges along the length. The bolts start to give. 

 

“Well, Seungcheol and I talked things through and after hearing his side of the story, I decided that I’d come back, but only if he got treatment. It’s fine for now; the tumor isn’t cancerous but I refused to do anything before he agreed to fix it little by little.”

 

“Would it be intrusive of me to ask what those reasons were?”

 

Jihoon shrugs. “He lost his mother to cancer and there’s a whole bunch of other stuff, but the basic gist was that he was too stubborn to want to submit to the fact that he might have to live the rest of his life in fear and under the control of others rather than being able to do things by himself. His mother refused to do things that the hospital didn’t specifically state, so I guess he had a lot of repressed anger.”

 

Chan sucks in a breath, ready to say something when something  _ clicks _ . Jihoon’s eyes widen. 

 

A small spring and two small nails fall onto the floor, clinking against the tiles quietly. 

 

“What’d you do? Did you do it?”

 

Jihoon tests it out. The lock doesn’t slide into place and it’s still openable both ways. “Most definitely not.”

 

“Wonderful. Maybe if we just-” Chan delicately places a finger on the handle, like it’s made of fragile china, before frowning and stepping backwards. “Give it some  _ oomph _ ?”

 

Jihoon doesn’t even have time to ask what he means by that when Chan lets his foot go flying into the handle. There’s an audible  _ ping! _ sound and Chan decides that he did something good. 

 

“Chan!”

 

Jihoon’s about to scold him when they hear desperate whining near the end of the hallway. 

 

“Wait, Wonwoo, Mingyu, why don’t we go out for co-” Hansol’s voice is drowned out by the sound of Wonwoo groaning and telling him to go away so he do his fucking job, please.

 

Jihoon yanks on Chan’s arm and pulls them into the turn in the hall, hiding behind the wall. Chan’s heartbeat bounces up and down against his ribcage, the burning of his bruises nothing compared to this. 

 

“Hey, Hansol, I’ll go with y-”

 

“I’m good!”

 

There’s a sound that indicates fabric (or someone’s stomach) is being punched, with the soft and audible  _ thwoosh _ rushing past Chan’s ears. Mingyu lets out a moan and Hansol sucks in a sharp breath. 

 

“Sorry! I didn't mean that, here, just get it, get in!” Chan peeks out of the corner of his eye and watches as Hansol releighs his shaking hands with Mingyu’s shoulders and shoves him into the doorway. Hansol pushes Mingyu hard and he disappears past the wall. The door quickly slams shut and Hansol looks around. 

 

“Hansol! We didn’t do the lock thing yet!”

 

Hansol jumps up from his spot and scurries over to a scowling Jihoon and what Chan would like to imagine as a scary-looking self. 

 

“What? I saw the scratches and assumed-”

 

“Hansol, how fucking dumb  _ are  _ you, I went along with it for the sake of a joke; I didn’t think you’d actually do this!”

 

“Well, you still tried, anyways! There were a bunch of little nails or bolts on the floor.”

 

Chan tilts his head and scrunches his nose. “How did neither of them see it?”

 

Hansol opens his mouth but then screaming ensues. 

 

“Hey, hey, Hansol! Hansol, help! The door’s locked from the inside, get us out!” Mingyu’s voice is low but at the same time, strangely pitched. The thumps of fists hitting solid wood bounce around the hallway and all three of them stop and stare at the vibrating door handle. 

 

“But hyung-” Chan looks at Jihoon. 

 

“I  _ know _ I didn’t do that.”

 

-

-

 

Minghao feels his blood pressure rise with every panicked round Jisoo makes. The sound of his shoes padding softly against the carpeted floor as he paces back and forth the room is absolutely, magnificently, fucking wonderful. It’s so nice that Minghao wants to shove a fist down Jisoo’s throat and strangle him. 

 

_ Thumpthumpthump. Swish. Turn. Thumpthumpthump.  _

 

Jihoon slams his hands down on his desk. “For the love of all that is good, Jisoo, sit the fuck  _ down _ .”

 

Jisoo looks up. “S-sorry. Shouldn’t we let them out?” Jisoo points a thumb backwards, indicating the hallway. A.K.A., Wonwoo’s room. The cries for help have long died out. 

 

Minghao shrugs. “They’ll probably call if they were really pissed.”

 

Seungkwan’s head pops up over his little cubicle wall. “Not to shit on anyone's party, but Mingyu’s phone is on his desk and I heard Wonwoo hyung tell Mingyu on his way down to the cafeteria that his phone charger broke so it’s dead.”

 

Everyone automatically turns to Seokmin, who has a concentrated expression on his face. Minghao honestly wants to keep them locked just a little bit longer. 10% because he wants them to maybe talk, but 90% because it’s so fucking  _ quiet _ without Mingyu there to fight and egg him on. 

 

Seokmin sighs. “Let’s go let them out.”

 

Minghao stands up. “You tried, Min.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Hmm.” Minghao follows out a hurried Jisoo, who’s followed by Chan, who’s followed by Hansol, then Minghao, then Seungkwan, then finally, Seokmin. Jihoon sniffles judgmentally. (If it’s possible to do that.)

 

“Why’re you all going.”

 

“Because Wonwoo punches kinda hard and it’s harder to aim for ten people at once.”

 

Jihoon nods agreeingly towards Chan’s quip and gets up. 

 

-

-

 

Hansol feels the group pull in deep breaths at the same time. It’s like a collective lung that they share together, and silence befalls the hallway. Seokmin gulps loudly and tugs at the door handle. 

 

Everyone is met with the fantastically beautiful image of Wonwoo’s shirt riding up due to the fact that Mingyu’s finger pinching his nipple and please don’t forget the flush of red along the bottom of Mingyu’s lip. 

 

The door squeaks against its hinges and someone coughs. 

 

Seriously. 

 

Wonderful. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeeeehhhhheeeee
> 
> yeah okay hi!! its min here again!! and also "the perfect man" will be updated next friday!! 
> 
> and thank you for all the love and comments and kudos and reads i serioslly love every single one of you!! like im alawys so happy to update and all of my stress just melts away when i think about putting up another chapter and also you guys just make me happy !!!
> 
> thank you for always showing support even when the chapters are kinda lame but i swear they'll get bettter 
> 
> I dont have as much to say as i usually do (school's tiring sldjfs) but as alawys, please comment or kudos if you enjoy, write your opinions (i love everything yall say mwah!!), or whatever im not in charge of you!!:))) thank you for reading tho and see you next week !!
> 
> uwuqueen out  
>  \- min <3


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